Good morning! I'm so sleepy, i'm hungry, sitting at my desk wishing i was in my bed! Its only 9:45 and already i wanna bounce up outta here. This is so not good. Smh. The job search continues. Meanwhile let me figure out wats for breakfast.

Why did the MC just call me at 7 o'clock in the doggone morning? All these dudes be making guest appearances in my life. Wat is up wit that? Its like my life is a tv show. Well they need to run the credits. It is too early. Lol. Gotta get ready for work.

Happy Monday. Ugh. Lol.

...to be continued.

Wat happens when two boys don't listen to u? A mic stand gets dropped on ur foot and ur toe might be broken. Great. :(

Physical Therapy

I started physical therapy (PT as my doctor called it) last week and it has been PAINFUL.

Was there last night and my physical therapist said that my ankle is still pretty unstable. You should see how she taped up my ankle. Who knew that tape could immobilize your foot like this! Its forcing me to walk a certain way which is giving my ankle more stability and hopefully will allow me to stop wearing this air cast very soon. I will try to show a pic of it later today. Good thing I had a long dress on yesterday cuz this trash goes all the way up to my knee and in NY they will stare at you. Lol.

I'll be going for my fourth visit on Friday. I want this road to recovery to speed up. I hope to start strength training soon. I want to be back to 100% ASAP. I'm getting cabin fever not being able to workout and dance. This is bananas!

... to be continued

Looking For Something New

Realized that some of the source of my dissatisfaction is that I haven't changed my sphere of influence in the last 5 years and I'm ready for a change. I gotta move! Lol.

At my current job I am working for peanuts full-time. Literally. I work 40+ hours a week and I'm still below the poverty line. How does that work? *scratches head* I've given a lot to this organization but it is time for me to spread my wings, cut the cord and get the heck outta here before it all comes apart. When you stop believing in what you're doing its time to go.

So I have been actively seeking and applying for other jobs. My fingers and toes on my good foot (lol) are crossed and I know that I'll be leaving here soon so in the next few months I'm hoping to be making some big moves. With the Lord's help, grace and wisdom I'll be embarking on a new adventure.

And for a girl who hates change, I am absolutely stoked! I can't wait for it to start. :)

...to be continued

It sucks when u realize that the reason for your unhappiness and dissatification is you. So wat am I gonna do about it?

In Love Once

I was in love once but it was a young, naive, almost obsessive kinda of love that wasn't any type of healthy. I think back on it often. How I wanted him so badly to love me back. How I did almost anything possible to get him to love me back.

And now after he broke my heart and years have passed I wonder who was that person? Why did she allow such poor treatment? If it hadn't ended the way it did would I have had the strength to demand better or walk away?

I remember how eager I was to fall in love when I was a teenager. I've loved love stories since I was a kid. I love to hear the stories behind how couples met. Asking then how did they know that they had found the one. They all get that faraway look as if reliving that moment when they realized, "Oh boy my heart is in trouble." lol

I've always wanted that story. But living after a broken heart I wonder if my heart is strong enough to attempt love again. I'm nurturing and loving by nature. I can very easily show love and I let people into my heart but I haven't given my heart to anyone.

Love isn't easy, it can hurt, and it can be scary. I still want my story but I wonder if my heart is not too fractured. If I have the strength to not settle. If I believe with all I've got that God has that man and that story waiting for me at the right time. That I would be able to know him when I see him and not be afraid to love him.

We throw love around so causally in today's society when it isn't really love at all. But I want real love, true love, romantic, there with you in the trenches, all consuming, you complete me love.

Sometime you wonder if that even exists anymore...

Reading The Divine Matchmaker and it inspired this post because as I began to read their love story something in me opened up and began to weep because I realized though I've been in love once I never experience love like that. And I envy it.

The next, and hopefully the last, time I fall in love I want that "tingle" that lets me know, "this is what love is". No convincing, no wondering, no trying to change or mold just that "tingle".

... to be continued

Happy Independence Day!

Happy 4th of July!

Whether you bbq or your at the beach or watch the fireworks on TV have a wonder Independence Day

Lady Dee

On my way home. The week went by soooo fast but back to work. Heading to the airport. NY see u soon.

I'm in TN. :) It has been an amazing experience so far. Its just been a cellular dead zone and i've got no wi-fi. So all the things i had planned to do i can't but its all good. Pics to follow (when i have signal lol).