Well, here's an update to my weight loss challenge.
I started out so well, so strong. And then... I went on a staff retreat four weeks ago Wednesday-Thursday (only two days, one night) so I couldn't really workout the Wednesday night. I came home late Thursday exhausted so I didn't work out. Then the following week because we missed two days of work I was in the office late allllllll week. I mean pushing 9 pm one night. So I would get home exhausted and hit my bed hard! I vowed to start back strong and in force on the 26th of May.
And then...
I hurt my foot. I don't know how I did it but I've been limping ever since. Now mind you I have been exercising. I take two dance classes a week at my studio, Jazz and Ballet, so I'm getting exercise and conditioning I just stopped doing Insanity and now I have to stop cause my foot can't take it. Washington said I should fight through the pain and keep working out because that is the price you pay to look good. *eyeroll and serious side eye* Yeah whatever.
I had ballet class last night. I had to tape my foot and when I got home OMG I was in PAIN!
So I have an appointment scheduled with a podiatrist on Friday to figure out what the heck is going on. 6'8 says I may have a stress fracture which I'm hoping and praying is not the case. It would make sense though cuz it my left foot which is my good foot. My right has always given me problems cuz of my dancing. It pulls on me sometimes so I compensate with the left. The left has said enough is enough.
My dance show, however, is in TWO WEEKS and I go on vacation at the end of this month. I do not want my foot in a cast.
So part of my weight loss flop is not entirely my fault. *sigh* At least I'm maintaining my weight.
And I'll keep you posted on the foot. smh.
...to be continued
Showing posts with label hurt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hurt. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Monday, December 7, 2009
Questioning
"I think you would neglect your family"
This is what my boyfriend said to me this morning because when he asked me what my top 5 priorities were I included church in the list. We spent an hour going back an forth over this and it just pissed me off even more. I did not need to hear that this morning cuz it jacked up my whole day.
It got me thinking to myself, "Then why is he with me?" If you think that I could neglect my own children why would you be with me? Then I thought, if you think that low of me why am I with you? And why is church the thing that would make me be neglectful of my family? I'm involved in my church but it is one of the many things I do. Why would that be the one thing that I would choose over my family?
Am I overeacting or justified in my hurt? Cuz, whether he realized or not he just gave me another reason to seriously question whether him and I should be a we.
Lord help me.
... to be continued.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
He's Married!
So here's the entire story of what happened last night.
I have been talking to the Personal Trainer for a little over a month even though it felt much longer. I first introduced him as my text buddy. Somehow our relationship progressed so much further than that. We would talk everyday. When I mean everyday, I'm talking waking up to texts, talking before we went to bed, sometimes talking all day on Saturdays. And we were talking about some really deep stuff about our feelings, our families. I thought I had a serious connection with him. Mind you I was trying to figure out how this could possibly work because we didn't live in the same state and he was joining the army but when I asked him about it he said that he saw us as getting closer and didn't foresee our relationship changing. He even invited me to come to Georgia to spend the weekend with him.
So I'm thinking its all good, we're on the same page right?
We'll in my post Georgia Peach I talked about going to visit him. My Aunt read my post and commented on it, telling me to send her his name so she can check him out for me. Thinking everything was everything I obliged. She messages me back saying to ask him if he lives in Conyers and knows this woman. He does live in Conyers so I texted him asking if he knew her. I was thinking it was maybe she's a sister or a cousin or maybe his mother but this is what he texts back.
I paused. Like as if you pressed paused on your dvd player. I paused put my phone down and let it sit for a minute. I was stunned to say the least. Was this a joke? So I texted back, "R u serious?"
So wait about 10 minutes because thats how long I waited for a response I never got before I texted, "Were u ever gonna tell me?" He finally texts back
How did I find out?! Why the heck didn't you tell me you (insert a random slew of expletives here). The thing is if my Aunt hadn't asked me for his name and then asked me to ask him if he knew that woman I would have never known. I mean I was making plans to spend money to go see this fool, I shared thoughts with him I don't share with anybody because he opened himself up to me. All the things he told me about his life he didn't think that telling me he had a wife and 2 boys was important? WTF?!
So he called me later that night. By now this had sunk in and hearing him talk I began to cry. I hate to admit that I did. And I held it together during most of the call but as I began asking him questions and he kept saying I don't know I couldn't hold it. I was so hurt. Like how can you not know? At any point you could have said Dee, I gotta tell you something. But no, I had to find out indirectly from someone else who didn't even know she was outing you. At least he came out with it straight up but my goodness... he woulda let me come to Georgia and cheat on his wife with me. And I would never know. What if she had seen us together ir found his phone? *smh*
When I asked him if he woulda ever told me he was like uh, well yeah but ... BS.
Then when I asked how he thought us could work he was like, "I was still trying to figure that out."
But what really took the cake was that he was more upset that he hurt me. Me? Not that he could've hurt the other woman he made a vow to, not the fact that a family was almost destroyed. No, he was more upset that he hurt me and mad me cry.
I kept thinking, how do you explain something like that to your kids? He coulda got me got by his wife and I woulda been oblivious as to why. He knows I'm not that type of person. I'm not a husband stealer. And he's been with his wife for years. Their oldest child is 12!
Only God in his awesome power could have orchestrated this. My mom kept telling me he was hiding something and this was more than coincidence that my Aunt would ask me to ask him this woman's name and it would be his wife.
My heart hurts but I thank God that this didn't escalate beyond this point. I can still pick up the pieces and move on cuz I did nothing wrong. I can still hold my head high.
Then he had the nerve to say, "Can I text you later?"
WTF?!
Singleville have mercy on me please.
... to be continued.
I have been talking to the Personal Trainer for a little over a month even though it felt much longer. I first introduced him as my text buddy. Somehow our relationship progressed so much further than that. We would talk everyday. When I mean everyday, I'm talking waking up to texts, talking before we went to bed, sometimes talking all day on Saturdays. And we were talking about some really deep stuff about our feelings, our families. I thought I had a serious connection with him. Mind you I was trying to figure out how this could possibly work because we didn't live in the same state and he was joining the army but when I asked him about it he said that he saw us as getting closer and didn't foresee our relationship changing. He even invited me to come to Georgia to spend the weekend with him.
So I'm thinking its all good, we're on the same page right?
We'll in my post Georgia Peach I talked about going to visit him. My Aunt read my post and commented on it, telling me to send her his name so she can check him out for me. Thinking everything was everything I obliged. She messages me back saying to ask him if he lives in Conyers and knows this woman. He does live in Conyers so I texted him asking if he knew her. I was thinking it was maybe she's a sister or a cousin or maybe his mother but this is what he texts back.
"Yes. She's my wife."
I paused. Like as if you pressed paused on your dvd player. I paused put my phone down and let it sit for a minute. I was stunned to say the least. Was this a joke? So I texted back, "R u serious?"
So wait about 10 minutes because thats how long I waited for a response I never got before I texted, "Were u ever gonna tell me?" He finally texts back
"Yes, but I didn't know how after I didn't tell you the first time we talked. How did u find out?"
How did I find out?! Why the heck didn't you tell me you (insert a random slew of expletives here). The thing is if my Aunt hadn't asked me for his name and then asked me to ask him if he knew that woman I would have never known. I mean I was making plans to spend money to go see this fool, I shared thoughts with him I don't share with anybody because he opened himself up to me. All the things he told me about his life he didn't think that telling me he had a wife and 2 boys was important? WTF?!
So he called me later that night. By now this had sunk in and hearing him talk I began to cry. I hate to admit that I did. And I held it together during most of the call but as I began asking him questions and he kept saying I don't know I couldn't hold it. I was so hurt. Like how can you not know? At any point you could have said Dee, I gotta tell you something. But no, I had to find out indirectly from someone else who didn't even know she was outing you. At least he came out with it straight up but my goodness... he woulda let me come to Georgia and cheat on his wife with me. And I would never know. What if she had seen us together ir found his phone? *smh*
When I asked him if he woulda ever told me he was like uh, well yeah but ... BS.
Then when I asked how he thought us could work he was like, "I was still trying to figure that out."
But what really took the cake was that he was more upset that he hurt me. Me? Not that he could've hurt the other woman he made a vow to, not the fact that a family was almost destroyed. No, he was more upset that he hurt me and mad me cry.
I kept thinking, how do you explain something like that to your kids? He coulda got me got by his wife and I woulda been oblivious as to why. He knows I'm not that type of person. I'm not a husband stealer. And he's been with his wife for years. Their oldest child is 12!
Only God in his awesome power could have orchestrated this. My mom kept telling me he was hiding something and this was more than coincidence that my Aunt would ask me to ask him this woman's name and it would be his wife.
My heart hurts but I thank God that this didn't escalate beyond this point. I can still pick up the pieces and move on cuz I did nothing wrong. I can still hold my head high.
Then he had the nerve to say, "Can I text you later?"
WTF?!
Singleville have mercy on me please.
... to be continued.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
I Think I Love You
Whenever a man asks you "Do you believe in love at first sight?" after three dates warning signs should flash and sirens should blare. When the MC texted me this, why did I pray that he didn't say say "I love you." What he texted was just as bad.
How can he know that? Yes, I do believe in love at first sight. I believe that you can know if you want to be with someone instantly, that you can feel a pull so strong that you know you are meant to be with that person forever, and that butterflies will flutter in your stomach uncontrollably. I just wouldn't go to that person after hanging out 3 times and tell them I think I love you. Rejection is a ... you know.
So I understand that but... I guess I'm just a cynic. I don't understand why he would feel that way about me. And to be honest this gave me pause.
I think he's a great guy, I enjoy the time I spend with him but those 4 reservations are constantly in play in the back of my mind. I hate to admit it but I thought to myself, "I wish that a certain someone else was telling me this".
I just don't feel what he feels at this moment, telling me he feels like we are soul mates and that I'm stuck with him. I'm trying to figure out if this is game he trying to run on me. What's his angle? What does he feel that I can offer him that makes me worthy of forever? Why is he so ready to settle down now? Is it me specifically he wants or is so ready for marriage that any woman would do?
When someone tells you they "think" they love you it shouldn't cause more questions than answers. While I'm flattered I'm also FREAKING OUT.
I don't want to hurt him. Lord help me.
... to be continued.
I Think I Love You
How can he know that? Yes, I do believe in love at first sight. I believe that you can know if you want to be with someone instantly, that you can feel a pull so strong that you know you are meant to be with that person forever, and that butterflies will flutter in your stomach uncontrollably. I just wouldn't go to that person after hanging out 3 times and tell them I think I love you. Rejection is a ... you know.
So I understand that but... I guess I'm just a cynic. I don't understand why he would feel that way about me. And to be honest this gave me pause.
I think he's a great guy, I enjoy the time I spend with him but those 4 reservations are constantly in play in the back of my mind. I hate to admit it but I thought to myself, "I wish that a certain someone else was telling me this".
I just don't feel what he feels at this moment, telling me he feels like we are soul mates and that I'm stuck with him. I'm trying to figure out if this is game he trying to run on me. What's his angle? What does he feel that I can offer him that makes me worthy of forever? Why is he so ready to settle down now? Is it me specifically he wants or is so ready for marriage that any woman would do?
When someone tells you they "think" they love you it shouldn't cause more questions than answers. While I'm flattered I'm also FREAKING OUT.
I don't want to hurt him. Lord help me.
... to be continued.
Don't Hurt Me
My heart melted when the MC told me this. What could I say? One of my biggest fears is hurting someone the way I've been hurt in the past. Being hurt by someone that you care about can be so destructive. That probably explains why I can be so closed off to men. It takes me a while to let them get close to me because I know that if I allow myself to care about them and then they hurt me it will be a tough thing for me to get over.
So when the MC told me, "Don't hurt me" I felt some of the ice around my heart start to melt. I told him I wouldn't because I know how it feels to be hurt and I truthfully don't want to but those 4 reservations I had keep nagging at me. Will I be able to handle all that he wants from me? At this point I don't know.
Even when you have the best of intentions is it inevitable that you will hurt someone? *sigh*
Singleville...
... to be continued.
So when the MC told me, "Don't hurt me" I felt some of the ice around my heart start to melt. I told him I wouldn't because I know how it feels to be hurt and I truthfully don't want to but those 4 reservations I had keep nagging at me. Will I be able to handle all that he wants from me? At this point I don't know.
Even when you have the best of intentions is it inevitable that you will hurt someone? *sigh*
Singleville...
... to be continued.
