I'm a person who can get lost in a book. My head in the clouds. I've been so many places, with so many people in my fantasies and imagination.
I was a dreamer. I was a person who looked for happy endings and silver linings.
Often enough life changes you. Maybe I grew up too sheltered. Maybe I lived in a bubble... that's finally been burst. A glass house... now shattered into a million pieces. A tower of cards... now knocked over.
I miss who I used to be. I really liked her. This jaded miss has finally broken. She's realized that you don't get older, fall in love, get married, have babies, grow old together in the span of a two hour movie. Sometimes your alone, by yourself, ...Single
We don't always get what we want when we desperately want it. We don't always have it waiting for us when get done living, running, funning. We don't always because....
Life Isn't always a Fairy Tale
...to be continued
Showing posts with label single. Show all posts
Showing posts with label single. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Friday Night in the Village
So Spike invites me to this party in the Village on Friday. Free cover, free drinks. I'm in there. So me and some of my girls get ourselves all dolled up to go out. I'm on the train with my girl Tee on the way there (my other girls were meeting us there) and I say to her, "Girl this is gonna be a funny night." I had never spoke truer words in my life. The moment I said that this man got on the train with this little keyboard with this inner tube thing attached to it and begins to blow into it and play every show tune known to man. We look at each other and shake our heads. (Only in NY) And it was on from there.
Many people say that women are thirsty. Ha. Men are even thirstier. Lord have mercy. So we finally get to our stop on the train and we walking to the exit. We in the train station mind you when this man who works in the station, had to be in his forties, sees us and stops what he's doing to watch us walk. SMH. Just thirsty.
So we get out of the station and we are lost. So we ask some MTA employees and they had no clue. I'll calling Spike, no answer. I call my sis whose supposed to meet us, no anwser. We looking at google maps all confused. Lol. Finally my sis calls and they lost too so now we trying to find each other. Lol. So after we find each other (we just walked till we met in the middle which was like 2 blocks. lol.) me and Tee realize that where we were orginally was just across the street from where we were supposed to go. Sigh.
So finally we get to the lounge where the party is at and they tell us the party ended at 10:30. We got there at 11:30. What party ends at 10:30? But anyway, I looked at my girls they looked at me and we bounced. I had yet to hear from Spike and it was whack as all hell in there so we left.
And thus began our adventure. We decided to walk around to see what else was happening. We ended up walking from Bleeker Street to 1st Ave. Now your girl is rocking 4 inch stilletos so by the end of the night my calves and thighs were burning baby. I was surprised I was even able to walk the next day. At least my muscles got a workout. But on our journey we met some characters boy.
So we walking, talking, acting silly and this group of guys comes seemingly out of no where and blocks our way. Of course I'm walking the slowest so my girls bascially escape but the guy that decided to stop me gets in front of me and starts shuffling from side to side so I couldn't pass. It reminded me of those football dummies that the players use in practice.
Lol. I wanted to laugh. I was like this fool. I kindly side stepped him and I hear him and his friends talking bout "Work it girl. Thats right shake them hips."
As I said, Thirsty.
Finally we get to this club, its like 12:30. But they said it was $25 cover. Now normally it woulda been whatever but the original plan had been to go to a party with no cover and free drinks. Now we at $25 cover and paying for drinks. So, I looked at my girls they looked at me and we bounced.
By now I'm starving, my feet hurt and I need to sitdown. (Thats the price you pay for being cute.) So we decide to find a place to eat. Here comes thirsty guy #2. So we are crossing the street (please keep in mind we are crossing the street) when this guy in this huge truck comes and makes a turn. He then leans out his truck and says "Baby stay right there, I'ma pull over." Wait a minute. We are in the middle of the street and he said stay right there I'ma pull over. Dude you done lost ya mind. I looked at him smiled and kept on walking. Did he really think I would risk getting run over?
Thirsty.
So we finally settle on this little food place with this huge glass window. And we sit down (thank God) to just people watch. Some of the things we saw. Lord have mercy. Some the outfits ladies rock these days...its a crying shame. And the men, Lord have mercy, the men. One guy's pants were almost as tight as mine and anothers pants were tighter than mine. That cannot be good for your boys at all. One man was so big that his shirt was caught in his roll and he was dribbling this milk stuff on his shirt. Just a mess and we was dying.
But, we order, chilling, laughing, having fun and then this guy comes in the shop. He looked scarier than a mother. I was gonna say something smart to my girls but I looked up and saw him looking at me and thought better of it. So he orders and while he eating its like he in a trance all staring out into space and we like, "What the heck he staring at?" Finally he finishes up and is leaving so I turn to see which direction he gonna go and he walks to this sexy car. (Why the scary, crazy dudes always got the banging rides?) So anyway, I'm peeping his car hard but trying to be inconspicous. Epic FAIL. Cuz he saw me and he must of thought I was checking him out cuz now dude wants me to come out to the car. "Hell No, We won't go". So now I have my back to him. I don't want to give him anymore ideas. But he still trying to get me to come out. So him and Tee are having a convo about me through the door of the shop. (We was sitting by the door.) This is in essence how the convo went.
Guy: (Points at me)
Tee: Who her? (Points at me)
Guy: (Nods) Tell her to come outside.
Tee: She can't.
Guy: Why?
Tee: She's deaf (we are rolling)
Guy: What?
Tee: She's deaf, she won't be able to hear you. You'd have to sign to her. (proceeds to demonstrate sign language)
Guy: So what? Thats ok.
Tee: Hows that gonna work?
Guy: (shrugs and laughs)
Finally, I turn around and he smiles before he pulls off. Now with the smile he looked halfway decent but never woulda happened. I might not have come home. Lol.
With that we decided to call it a night.
Only in Singleville would you get stopped by a wanna be NFL lineman whose defensive shuffle was on point, a guy who wanted to talk to me so bad he woulda caused a traffic jam by pulling over in the middle of the street, and a guy who was willing to talking to me in sign language just to get me to come out to his car.
And Spike...Is in the dog house.
...to be continued.
Many people say that women are thirsty. Ha. Men are even thirstier. Lord have mercy. So we finally get to our stop on the train and we walking to the exit. We in the train station mind you when this man who works in the station, had to be in his forties, sees us and stops what he's doing to watch us walk. SMH. Just thirsty.
So we get out of the station and we are lost. So we ask some MTA employees and they had no clue. I'll calling Spike, no answer. I call my sis whose supposed to meet us, no anwser. We looking at google maps all confused. Lol. Finally my sis calls and they lost too so now we trying to find each other. Lol. So after we find each other (we just walked till we met in the middle which was like 2 blocks. lol.) me and Tee realize that where we were orginally was just across the street from where we were supposed to go. Sigh.
So finally we get to the lounge where the party is at and they tell us the party ended at 10:30. We got there at 11:30. What party ends at 10:30? But anyway, I looked at my girls they looked at me and we bounced. I had yet to hear from Spike and it was whack as all hell in there so we left.
And thus began our adventure. We decided to walk around to see what else was happening. We ended up walking from Bleeker Street to 1st Ave. Now your girl is rocking 4 inch stilletos so by the end of the night my calves and thighs were burning baby. I was surprised I was even able to walk the next day. At least my muscles got a workout. But on our journey we met some characters boy.
So we walking, talking, acting silly and this group of guys comes seemingly out of no where and blocks our way. Of course I'm walking the slowest so my girls bascially escape but the guy that decided to stop me gets in front of me and starts shuffling from side to side so I couldn't pass. It reminded me of those football dummies that the players use in practice.
Lol. I wanted to laugh. I was like this fool. I kindly side stepped him and I hear him and his friends talking bout "Work it girl. Thats right shake them hips."As I said, Thirsty.
Finally we get to this club, its like 12:30. But they said it was $25 cover. Now normally it woulda been whatever but the original plan had been to go to a party with no cover and free drinks. Now we at $25 cover and paying for drinks. So, I looked at my girls they looked at me and we bounced.
By now I'm starving, my feet hurt and I need to sitdown. (Thats the price you pay for being cute.) So we decide to find a place to eat. Here comes thirsty guy #2. So we are crossing the street (please keep in mind we are crossing the street) when this guy in this huge truck comes and makes a turn. He then leans out his truck and says "Baby stay right there, I'ma pull over." Wait a minute. We are in the middle of the street and he said stay right there I'ma pull over. Dude you done lost ya mind. I looked at him smiled and kept on walking. Did he really think I would risk getting run over?
Thirsty.
So we finally settle on this little food place with this huge glass window. And we sit down (thank God) to just people watch. Some of the things we saw. Lord have mercy. Some the outfits ladies rock these days...its a crying shame. And the men, Lord have mercy, the men. One guy's pants were almost as tight as mine and anothers pants were tighter than mine. That cannot be good for your boys at all. One man was so big that his shirt was caught in his roll and he was dribbling this milk stuff on his shirt. Just a mess and we was dying.
But, we order, chilling, laughing, having fun and then this guy comes in the shop. He looked scarier than a mother. I was gonna say something smart to my girls but I looked up and saw him looking at me and thought better of it. So he orders and while he eating its like he in a trance all staring out into space and we like, "What the heck he staring at?" Finally he finishes up and is leaving so I turn to see which direction he gonna go and he walks to this sexy car. (Why the scary, crazy dudes always got the banging rides?) So anyway, I'm peeping his car hard but trying to be inconspicous. Epic FAIL. Cuz he saw me and he must of thought I was checking him out cuz now dude wants me to come out to the car. "Hell No, We won't go". So now I have my back to him. I don't want to give him anymore ideas. But he still trying to get me to come out. So him and Tee are having a convo about me through the door of the shop. (We was sitting by the door.) This is in essence how the convo went.
Guy: (Points at me)
Tee: Who her? (Points at me)
Guy: (Nods) Tell her to come outside.
Tee: She can't.
Guy: Why?
Tee: She's deaf (we are rolling)
Guy: What?
Tee: She's deaf, she won't be able to hear you. You'd have to sign to her. (proceeds to demonstrate sign language)
Guy: So what? Thats ok.
Tee: Hows that gonna work?
Guy: (shrugs and laughs)
Finally, I turn around and he smiles before he pulls off. Now with the smile he looked halfway decent but never woulda happened. I might not have come home. Lol.
With that we decided to call it a night.
Only in Singleville would you get stopped by a wanna be NFL lineman whose defensive shuffle was on point, a guy who wanted to talk to me so bad he woulda caused a traffic jam by pulling over in the middle of the street, and a guy who was willing to talking to me in sign language just to get me to come out to his car.
And Spike...Is in the dog house.
...to be continued.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
????
Today seems to be the day of question marks. 
I'm in this mood. Which is hard to explain other than unfulfilled.
I have all of these guys that I'm talking to and yet feel in no way that I am any closer to my goal of getting to marrywood. Yes I know, I should relish being single. Blah, blah, blah. I've heard it all and that's not the point.
My goal is meet the man that I'm supposed to marry, that person who will fulfill me. I'm not talking about giving me purpose. I'm talking about someone who can give me all the thing I can't give myself. Companionship. Yes friends can give you this but at the end of the day they ain't lying next to you holding you and if they are what type of friends you got? (raising my eyebrow) Children. Yes I can adopt or get a sperm donor but why is that necessary? I'm still young and half the fun of having kids is making them ;). Sex. I don't think I need to explain this one but in case I do, I'm not trying to service myself so...yeah. Finally, love. All consuming, passionate, I'll do anything for you, can't get enough of you, you will still be hot to me 50 years from now love.
While all the guys I'm talking to are nice and they all give me some of the things I'm looking for its not the complete package and I always end up with the feeling "somthing's missing". And almost all of them lack my most important requirement. A relationship with Christ. *sigh*
So its like I'm back to square one. And even more depressing, on my way home from work this lady gets on the bus with her rolly backpack and her groceries. She had a nice body, tall like a supermodel, long hair, all the things society says you should have. And she was single. And I thought, that could be me in 10 to 15 years. On the bus struggling with my bags looking just sad with a big floppy hat on. I wanted to cry. That is my greatest fear I think. One of my mom's friends who I love dearly is an amazing woman but she's single too and still saying well maybe one day... I can't be like that. I'd go hoping mad. Justing sitting there waiting for my prince to come. I can't do this roller coaster ride for no 10 years I bearly can handle it now.
And the statistics aren't any better the ratio of black women to black men is like 8 to 1 (i'm pretty sure but don't quote me) which is like insane. And most men nowadays (notice I said most not all) want to hit it and move on. So the ratio is 8 to 1 where most just want sex and I'm celibate. Plus I'm trying to find the one that loves God, wants a commitment and has a job. Do you now understand my frustration?
The Lord knows all things. Including how long I'll be here in Singleville. And if I'm here much longer I might do something I ain't supposed to do. (I think I've already begun me dissent.) Lord help me.
Singleville makes a woman crazy especially when she is having less than holy thoughts.
...to be continued.
I'm in this mood. Which is hard to explain other than unfulfilled.
I have all of these guys that I'm talking to and yet feel in no way that I am any closer to my goal of getting to marrywood. Yes I know, I should relish being single. Blah, blah, blah. I've heard it all and that's not the point.
My goal is meet the man that I'm supposed to marry, that person who will fulfill me. I'm not talking about giving me purpose. I'm talking about someone who can give me all the thing I can't give myself. Companionship. Yes friends can give you this but at the end of the day they ain't lying next to you holding you and if they are what type of friends you got? (raising my eyebrow) Children. Yes I can adopt or get a sperm donor but why is that necessary? I'm still young and half the fun of having kids is making them ;). Sex. I don't think I need to explain this one but in case I do, I'm not trying to service myself so...yeah. Finally, love. All consuming, passionate, I'll do anything for you, can't get enough of you, you will still be hot to me 50 years from now love.
While all the guys I'm talking to are nice and they all give me some of the things I'm looking for its not the complete package and I always end up with the feeling "somthing's missing". And almost all of them lack my most important requirement. A relationship with Christ. *sigh*
So its like I'm back to square one. And even more depressing, on my way home from work this lady gets on the bus with her rolly backpack and her groceries. She had a nice body, tall like a supermodel, long hair, all the things society says you should have. And she was single. And I thought, that could be me in 10 to 15 years. On the bus struggling with my bags looking just sad with a big floppy hat on. I wanted to cry. That is my greatest fear I think. One of my mom's friends who I love dearly is an amazing woman but she's single too and still saying well maybe one day... I can't be like that. I'd go hoping mad. Justing sitting there waiting for my prince to come. I can't do this roller coaster ride for no 10 years I bearly can handle it now.
And the statistics aren't any better the ratio of black women to black men is like 8 to 1 (i'm pretty sure but don't quote me) which is like insane. And most men nowadays (notice I said most not all) want to hit it and move on. So the ratio is 8 to 1 where most just want sex and I'm celibate. Plus I'm trying to find the one that loves God, wants a commitment and has a job. Do you now understand my frustration?
The Lord knows all things. Including how long I'll be here in Singleville. And if I'm here much longer I might do something I ain't supposed to do. (I think I've already begun me dissent.) Lord help me.
Singleville makes a woman crazy especially when she is having less than holy thoughts.
...to be continued.
