Friday, October 30, 2009

Washington is meeting my parents tomorrow. :) We're been dating for 8 weeks now. So this is big. I'm not nervous but how he interacts with my parents is very important. I'll let u know how it goes. It shall be interesting.

The elephant is still looming but... Singleville is about the journey, right?

... To be continued

Friday, October 23, 2009

How Does One Approach a Woman?

So for the last couple of days I've been coaching a friend on how to approach this woman that he likes. He's a Christian, she's a Christian and he kept saying that there seems to be a different way to approach a Christian woman. Before he was a Christian he had no problem approaching a woman but now he wasn't sure of what to say. Now I'm a Christian woman and there is only one way to approach me, Respectfully.

I don't think there is a different approach. If you step to a woman disrespectfully (And everyone's gauge of disrespect is different. I have my own pet peeves but thats a different post) most are gonna shut you down. But why would a woman shut you down if you said, "Hello, how you doing?" In the context of my friends story, he had been talking to this girl for a little while cuz they go to church together and serve together sometimes. Yet he wasn't sure if she'd be receptive to him asking for her number.

Ladies are we so hard to read that guys aren't sure if we're interested anymore? As it turns out she liked him too and they now have a date set up. Whats crazy is if I hadn't pushed him he wouldn't have asked her out.

Now Christian or not is it that difficult to approach women nowadays? Even Washington early on told me its hard to approach a woman sometimes. Whats up with that? Ladies do we need to soften ourselves up a bit so we don't scare these dudes off?

Hmmm. Definitely was my food for thought this week.

... to be continued.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Washington just made my heart melt. This is wat he just texted me,

"U r the sweetest thing and I really do like and care about u I just want to fill ur life with joy and laughter"

My honey is the sweetest thing ever. :) I can't wait to see him on Saturday. I'ma hug him so tight. Wat girl doesn't want to hear that?

This single girl is falling for this guy and he's just making it soooo easy. Is it bad that i think this may be too good to be true? (I need to tell my cynicalness to shut up. Lol)

Singleville, I'll keep u posted.

... To be continued

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Ok so i'm on my way to work, walking down the street and this man who is in his truck asks me, "Have u had breakfast yet?" Well thats a new one. Of course i hadn't but i said yes anyway. I don't know him and the next thing woulda been, "let me take u to get something to eat." So i continue walking but we're going in the same direction and i'm stopped waiting for the light to change when i hear, "U going straight up? I can give u a ride." Umm, no i'm good. So I'm wondering, did he really think i was gonna get in or anywhere near his car? Now his car was nice and i would have appreciated the ride (its a bit of a way to the bus stop) but I don't know him from Adam. He coulda been nice but he also coulda been crazy. How'd i look getting in his car? Am I wrong???

... To be continued

Monday, October 19, 2009

The Last 4 Days

The last 4 days have been straight up Bananas.

It was this big event for my job. It went really well, my feet held up pretty well in my four inch heels. Everybody was happy so I was happy. But, I didn't hit the bed til a little after 12 am.

Then I was back to work the next day at about 10 am. Left the office around 5:30 and ran to Michael's to pick up stuff for my youth group. Didn't get home til after 7 pm. When I got home, my cousin was there so my brother, her and I stayed up til the wee hours of the morning. Not the smartest thing to do when...

You're to be awoken at 5 am to go to Lancaster, PA. Shopping trip! The trip was great except the weather was horrible. It rained and was cold but I was so happy to get away and do one of my favorite things... SHOP! We found some amazing deals. I hung out with my brother and cuz. It was an all around good day. We didn't get home from that til about 10:30 pm and I hit my pillow hard.

Then my alarm buzzed at 9 am. Time for church. Lord knows I wanted to stay all snuggled in my covers but... I got up and got dress cuz it was Women's Day. Rocking my white dress. And we had double duty. Two services. (My feet held up pretty well here too). They fed us which was on point and by the time second service rolled around I was ready for a nap. Lol. But I held it together. Dropped my cousin back to school, get me a Medium caramel hot latte from Dunkin Donuts, got home, watched some football and hit the sack after 12 am.

And guess what time I had to be to work this morning? 9 am. I can feel the bags forming as I type. Lol. My busy, crazy life. Gotta love it. Next weekend's pace hopefully will be a little slower.

PS: I was going through Washington withdrawals this weekend too. Lol. Saturday is when I usually see him cuz we live kinda far from each other but I was on my shopping trip. When I miss someone that much it means I really like them. Hmmm. Lots to think about.

... to be continued

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Is It Wrong? - Flirting

Sorry for the long pause in posts. I've been just swamped lately.

So this edition of Is It Wrong is about flirting. To give context, things between Washington and I have taken a pretty serious turn :) which caused me to wondering, "Is it wrong to still be talking to other guys (even if they're just friends) if you're seeing someone pretty exclusively?" When I say talking I mean they send you a message or a text or an IM and you reply. Dialogue a bit.

Now that I'm in this new territory I began thinking should I stop talking to some of these guys? I truly don't mean anything by it. If some one sends me a message that says "Hello, how are you?" my natural response is to reply back. Now my loyalties aren't divided. I know Washington is my sweetie but is it wrong to still entertain these convos? Should I ignore them? I mean they're harmless. And I let them know that I'm seeing someone.

And while still on the topic, does that mean no more checking out guys? No more flirty smiles or glances? Not that I openly flirt with people like that but is that totally out of the question now?

When in a relationship do you have to hang up the flirtatiousness? Is it disrespectful to your partner even if you know that its only talk or only a passing look?

... to be continued

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Spending the day with Washington. :)

Things are progressing the way they are supposed to. However, there is an issue hanging over this relationship that I just can't shake. My mom said last night "if ur gonna spend this much time with him u have to figure out where u see this going." Thing is I already have. This is just so complicated. This thing I've got with Washington is almost perfect except... that ONE thing. And with Mr. E lurking in the shadows once again I'm at a crossroads.

But today I'm gonna enjoy my date (which I've debated on keeping all week) and keep praying. Cuz i'm gonna have to make a decision soon.

Singleville.... be continued.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Fell Into It :-/

Ok so I think I just kinda fell into a relationship. I think.

As you may know Washington and I talk everyday and we have hung out once a week for the last 3 weeks. Lately he's been using language like "my lady" and "your man" and last night he wanted to ask me something but he doesn't want to ask it through text which is usually his MO so...

According to Steve Harvey when a man professes that means he wants to be with you or at the very least sees himself being with you for a while. He's told me before that I'm a keeper. And he even told his mom about me.

So... I'm just trying to figure out how I ended up here. Lol. I hate when my mom's right. She told me this might happen. But is it so terrible? I like him, he likes me but... there is a huge elephant in the room.

Plus I just got an email from Mr. E this morning telling me he misses me and asking if he still crosses my mind. I almost swooned. Lol. Although I put him in the friend category I still care about him. *smh* (And I figured out why I liked PT so much besides that he's fine, he reminded me of Mr. E. Same age, same type of connection. Mr. E just ain't married. How crazy is that?)

So this Single girl might actually have a boyfriend. Isn't this what I wanted????

... to be continued

Monday, October 5, 2009

Good Fat

So I'm talking on the phone with Skittles (see Young Bucks on the Come Up) the other day and he tells me you got fat.

Pause. Since when is telling a female that she's fat EVER a good things.

So he realized his mistake and tried to turn it around and say but its good fat. So I'm trying to figure out what the heck he's talking about. So he explains you know when I was gone for a while before and when I came back and saw you I was like wow, that wasn't like that before. That's ... wow.

It finally dawned on me what he was talking about. So I said why didn't you just say what you meant the first time? He said he didn't want to be disrespectful. And telling me I'm fat is more respectful then saying your booty got bigger? Really? C'mon. *smh*

Fellas if you think being blunt could come off as disrespectful be a little more creative. Cuz telling a lady she's fat but its good fat ain't it. We ladies have enough insecurity already so whenever we hear the word fat we don't ever associate that with something good.

... to be continued.

Is It Wrong? - Self Medicating

So, after what happened with the Personal Trainer I was feeling kinda down. In the midst of that came my topic for this is it wrong.

Is it Wrong to self-medicate. People say when you get hurt that you should share your feelings. Sometimes I don't want to share my feelings I just want to feel funky and bask in the funkiness. Lol. However, I have also realized that there are times that I put on a brave face to show I'm ok but then behind the scenes I'm doing things to make me feel better. What are the things I use?
  • Food - this will be one of those times when I eat things I usually don't eat like a half gallon of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream with chocolate cake curled up on my bed in my pjs and comforter listening to Roberta Flack, Donnie Hathaway, and company. When I said I bask in the funkiness I meant it.
  • Shopping - this is usually when I have an influx of shoes and clothes coming to my house. I online shop so the UPS guy is very familiar with my address. (don't judge me. lol.) Getting nice things make me feel better.
  • Men - this is when I'll probably start entertaining a bunch of guys with phone convos or whatever just to boost my confidence. I know this isn't good cuz in the past its led me to do some really stupid things. Plus, I could end up hurting someone.
This time around I'm really fighting the urge to medicate myself cuz I really don't need the extra pounds, I don't have the extra cash to finance the shopping if I stay in the funk too long, and I really ain't trying to wake up next to no strange man cuz I was try to make myself feel better.

So far I'm winning on the latter to fronts. Not so much with the food. :(

But, is self-medicating necesarily wrong? I mean if you're not hurting anyone is it so bad to do things that make you feel better to get out of the rut? Sure the extra pounds aren't desirable but if I come out of it a better person, feeling happy is it necessarily wrong to use other things to fill the void?

... to be continued.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

He's Married!

So here's the entire story of what happened last night.

I have been talking to the Personal Trainer for a little over a month even though it felt much longer. I first introduced him as my text buddy. Somehow our relationship progressed so much further than that. We would talk everyday. When I mean everyday, I'm talking waking up to texts, talking before we went to bed, sometimes talking all day on Saturdays. And we were talking about some really deep stuff about our feelings, our families. I thought I had a serious connection with him. Mind you I was trying to figure out how this could possibly work because we didn't live in the same state and he was joining the army but when I asked him about it he said that he saw us as getting closer and didn't foresee our relationship changing. He even invited me to come to Georgia to spend the weekend with him.

So I'm thinking its all good, we're on the same page right?

We'll in my post Georgia Peach I talked about going to visit him. My Aunt read my post and commented on it, telling me to send her his name so she can check him out for me. Thinking everything was everything I obliged. She messages me back saying to ask him if he lives in Conyers and knows this woman. He does live in Conyers so I texted him asking if he knew her. I was thinking it was maybe she's a sister or a cousin or maybe his mother but this is what he texts back.

"Yes. She's my wife."

I paused. Like as if you pressed paused on your dvd player. I paused put my phone down and let it sit for a minute. I was stunned to say the least. Was this a joke? So I texted back, "R u serious?"

So wait about 10 minutes because thats how long I waited for a response I never got before I texted, "Were u ever gonna tell me?" He finally texts back

"Yes, but I didn't know how after I didn't tell you the first time we talked. How did u find out?"

How did I find out?! Why the heck didn't you tell me you (insert a random slew of expletives here). The thing is if my Aunt hadn't asked me for his name and then asked me to ask him if he knew that woman I would have never known. I mean I was making plans to spend money to go see this fool, I shared thoughts with him I don't share with anybody because he opened himself up to me. All the things he told me about his life he didn't think that telling me he had a wife and 2 boys was important? WTF?!

So he called me later that night. By now this had sunk in and hearing him talk I began to cry. I hate to admit that I did. And I held it together during most of the call but as I began asking him questions and he kept saying I don't know I couldn't hold it. I was so hurt. Like how can you not know? At any point you could have said Dee, I gotta tell you something. But no, I had to find out indirectly from someone else who didn't even know she was outing you. At least he came out with it straight up but my goodness... he woulda let me come to Georgia and cheat on his wife with me. And I would never know. What if she had seen us together ir found his phone? *smh*

When I asked him if he woulda ever told me he was like uh, well yeah but ... BS.

Then when I asked how he thought us could work he was like, "I was still trying to figure that out."

But what really took the cake was that he was more upset that he hurt me. Me? Not that he could've hurt the other woman he made a vow to, not the fact that a family was almost destroyed. No, he was more upset that he hurt me and mad me cry.

I kept thinking, how do you explain something like that to your kids? He coulda got me got by his wife and I woulda been oblivious as to why. He knows I'm not that type of person. I'm not a husband stealer. And he's been with his wife for years. Their oldest child is 12!

Only God in his awesome power could have orchestrated this. My mom kept telling me he was hiding something and this was more than coincidence that my Aunt would ask me to ask him this woman's name and it would be his wife.

My heart hurts but I thank God that this didn't escalate beyond this point. I can still pick up the pieces and move on cuz I did nothing wrong. I can still hold my head high.

Then he had the nerve to say, "Can I text you later?"


Singleville have mercy on me please.

... to be continued.