Friday, July 31, 2009

Oh What a Beautiful Morning...

"Oh what a beautiful day, I have a beautiful feeling, Everything's going my way"

Don't remember exactly where I heard that song but that is how I would describe yesterday in Singleville.

It was such a beautiful day yesterday. The sun was shining. It was warm with a nice cool breeze blowing. I wish I coulda spent more time outside instead of cooped up inside working. Ugh. If only to be a tween again. *sigh*

Anyway, on top of the beautiful day, I planned a date with Mr. Smith. He wants to take me somewhere but didn't tell me where. I am beyond curious. Plus, 2 more guy have been added to the list. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Lol. Introducing Mr. Feel Good and Honey. You'll understand the name choices in a minute. ;)

First, we'll talk about Mr. Feel Good. Now I have a lot of web presences. Probably more than most so I interact with a lot of different people on the web. Most are up and coming artist trying to get a fan base, friends from high school, jr. high, family, other friends, acquaintances, etc. And then there are the guys that are trying to spit game. Usually I entertain, the hey beautifuls with, a "thanks for the compliment" or an "I'm fine thanks for asking" and let it drop right there. So when Mr. Feel Good sent me the "hey how you doing" message 4 days ago I responded like I usually do. "I'm fine thanks for asking." He hits me back immediately. So we end up messaging each other for about an hour. I'm really feeling his vibe but... when I check out some of his pictures he has really soft features. His body though is bangin'. 6'1, six pack abs. And he was real smooth. So he asks for my number and I hesitate. So I tell him let me get to know him more and then I'll give him the digits. That's fair right?

So I hit him up online and he hit me back yesterday. We messaged each other for about 3 hours. We were flirting. I mean this guy had me flying high on compliments. Talking he want to feed me fruits with whipped cream. It was crazy. So I finally said I have to give this boy my number. So I did and then we texted for the rest of the day. Why is his name Mr. Feel Good? Cuz if you read some of the texts he sent me he wanted to make me feel real good. Real talk. Some really sensual stuff.

Finally he calls at 11:15 but I was on the phone with Honey. So once I got off I called him back. Now he done built up all this anticipation for me. I have this thing with voices. I like a voice that is stimulating to me. A little deep (but the deeper the better) that feels like a caress when they talk. Make you tingle. I wanted his voice to make me tingle. I don't know what I expected but what I heard wasn't it :(

He is West Indian, which I knew, and he had this really thick accent that reminded me of an old West Indian man. (Not good) While I'm pretty good with accents (I'm West Indian and while I myself don't have an accent I've spent enough time around those who do to be able to decipher words) he talks fast and soft and many times I had to say "huh?" cuz I just wasn't getting it. Maybe I was tired but when I'm concentrating mad hard to get what you saying and still missing it thats a no go. So now your girl is a little disappointed (I know I probably sound shallow but at least I recognize that this bothers me instead of trying it out and us having any argument and saying, "and your voice gets on my nerves too.") I had high expectations. So now I have soft features, a thick accent kinda high voice, and a sexy body. 1 out of 3 :-/

So lets rewind a bit. I had just given Mr. Feel Good my number so now we not messaging anymore (were texting) when a new message appears in my inbox. The subject said "wow". This piques me interest. I open the message and it said, " i must take u out one day". I love a dude that's bold and this definitely qualifies. So I had to respond. I try to be cute and said something like, "Wow? I hope that's a good thing?" So he responds, "it is a good thing. u r a combination of sexxy and pretty. nice smile and a lovely body. seem like u have a nice persona as well". Ok, ok. That's whats up. So he asks me for my number. Now normally I woulda said no because he didn't even have a picture up (he said it was because of his job) and we had talked for all of 5 seconds. Maybe I was still nice from the high of compliments Mr. Feel Good gave me but I gave him my number. Truth be told I didn't think he'd call and he intrigued me so I said why not?

Fast forward, he calls. At first I had no clue who it was cuz it was a withheld number (he was calling from his job) and like I said I didn't think he'd call but then when he told me I was like ok, nice. Now his voice, it wasn't that deep but it was deep enough and it had this sensual quality to it. Like you could imagine him whispering into your ear and it didn't matter what he said (like if he could've said baby, purple elephants are my favorite things in the world) you would still think it was sexy.

His vibe was incredible. The conversation was flowing. It was so easy and comfortable. I felt like we had been friends for years. And then we came to the part of the conversation where I had to tell him I abstain. This is an inevitable talking point in every conversation because sex seems to be such a focal point in today's society but its all good. I don't mind telling but I did remember thinking, "oh, another one bites the dust". So he got quiet a minute then said "oh ok. That's cool. I respect that." I was waiting to hear the phone click however that's not what I got.

Now, I know ya'll is wondering why his name is Honey. The following is why.

So after my revelation its as if the sexual flood gates were open because now he feels comfortable enough to ask me some provocative questions. (Go figure, right?) So he asks me, "Have you ever had honey drizzled from the top of your spine down to your backside and then had it licked off?" I hope ya'll me well enough to know that my answer was no. (even though I secretly wished I had, but don't tell anyone *shhhhh*) So, then he came with another question and another and each time I said no. What was crazy was that each scenario featured honey being drizzled on some part of the body and being licked off. And each time I said no he told me I had been deprived. After awhile I started to feel deprived. I wanted a honey story. Lol. But now you know why I call him Honey.

But get this, those scenarios according to him were rated G. He hadn't even gotten to the rated R chapters. Yes I said chapters. (If you jaw fell open just now then you reacted the same way I did.) So I said to him, "Boy, I'm scared of you." And he said to me "D, I don't know how this is gonna work. I need to stop". He is so right. So the convo is winding down, I still don't know what he looks like mind you, and he says, "When I get off work I'ma text you my picture cuz you probably thinking, he better look good talking like this" Lol. Now how did he know that's exactly what I was thinking? So I say ok and we hang up.

Fast forward. He sends me his pic. (He's French and Black by the way. Spoke to me in french and everything) He was looking pretty good. Chocolate brown skin (I got a weakness for chocolate. Might blog about that one of these days), clean shaven. He told me he's 6'0 with light brown eyes. (Ooh Lawd, don't that sound gorgeous). So he asks me to send him one. I oblige. I only have one (ok 2) pic(s) of myself in my phone. He texts, "call me". Ok. So I call and ask what did you think? He says, "I wish I could suck all the sugar outta ya lips" If you surprised, imagine my surprise. I'm all flustered all I could say was, "oh ok". Yeah, I know. Loser. But what could I say. I was caught off guard. Who says that to someone just like that?

Anyway, long story short (my stories are never short actually but hey *shrugs*) we talked until 2:30 in the morning. Why was this dumb on my part? Yesterday was Thursday. So I had to go to work in the morning. I was half dead all day. Looking at my computer clock. Praying for 6:00 pm to come at 10:00 and. Lol. I'm surprised I'm still up.

But it was such a beautiful day. I guess I didn't want it to end.

Sometimes Singleville rocks!

... to be continued.
Whoo Lawd. Another sexy bus sighting. This guy is fine. Chocolate brown skin, waves, and pencil thin goatee. I am lovin' him. Why can't guys like him talk to me? I mean even my girls would agree that he is sexy. (What they think is sexy and what I think is sexy don't always match.) Had me scoping him mad hard. At least there was one bright spot in all this rain. :)

... to be continued.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Lightning Strikes Twice

This post is titled in honor of the weather we having up here in NY. Stormy with lots of thunder and lightning. The question tonight is does lightning strike twice? Yes.

This post is about none other than epic fail. I really hope that this is the LAST time I write about him.

So he hit me up last night on IM and I ignored him. So then he hit me up on my phone. I ignored that too. So today he hit me up again. By now I'm fed up. (I've been ignoring him for almost a month now) I want this to end. So when he texts me today I text back,

"Wat is good with u? What do you want?"

Maybe I shouldn't of said it that way. Maybe I should have been nicer. But today was a long day. I was tired and I really didn't want him to talk to me. It is what it is.

So then he calls me... Twice. I'm really not trying to talk to him plus I was on my way home from work so I was underground. Had no service. So when I get out the train I have 2 missed calls, a voicemail and a text. I know they all from him. So I read the text.

This dude called me a phony b&*%h. Is he kidding?! He goes on to say that I need to act like an adult and that I was dishonest because I didn't tell him I wasn't interested. So I said (paraphasing) I didn't lie, I'm not phony, and how can you tell me to act like an adult after the mess of a first date we had where you totally disrespected me.

My man once again calls me dishonest, asks me when he disrespected me and then said, "Are you stupid". And he wonders how he disrespected me? Really? Maybe it was when you told me I don't pay attention or when you asked me "Can you walk?" or maybe its was when you told me "Thats the stupidest thing I've ever heard".

But it gets better (its always does). He continues to call me out my name, tells me I need to grow up, that I was dishonest, and that when he's not interested in someone he's "man" enough (I use that term loosely) to tell them. So I told him fine, I'm telling you now that I'm not interested.

He continues to curse at me and carry on.

Now I coulda said a lot of things. I choose to take the high road and I told him good luck with everything and I thanked him for teaching me a lot from this experience. Dude continued to call me dishonest so I had to set him straight. I told him lying requires speaking and since we weren't speaking how was I lying.



not honest; disposed to lie, cheat, or steal; not worthy of trust or belief: a dishonest person.

I don't feel I was being dishonest at any point. (Now I could be wrong, I doubt it, but its possible.) At no point did I show interest in him. I never initiated a call, I never intiated a text, or an IM. If he had at any point looked me in my face during our "date" he would have seen my disinterest. The last thing I said to him with an eye roll and a neck twist was, "Well ok, goodbye." Then to top it off, I've been ignoring you for the last 3 weeks (Thats almost a month).

I was done talking to this dude 3 weeks ago and I'm so done now. I told him as much too. But he continued to go on cursing and acting real ignorant. Finally I had enough so I blocked his number.

I never realized that ignoring someone was dishonest. Is it ideal? No but its neither dishonest nor phony as he kept telling me I was. The thing that's crazy is that guys do this all the time. They don't want to talk to you they ignore you. They don't explain why and to be honest if you don't want to talk to me thats fine. I move on, no hard feelings, it wasn't meant to be.

Dude acts like some scorned chick who wants you to know they're mad. You know what I'm talking about. That chick you take to a public place to break up with her cuz you know she gonna get loud and crazy. So the roles were reversed. I was the calm, "Whatever". And he was, "You every four letter word possible with misspellings and spewing hate."

Well, he is blocked on my phone, IM and hopefully (cross your fingers and toes) from my life.

I didn't think he could get any worse, I was so wrong. Lightning does strike twice. Is it wrong to wish for a bolt of lightning to strike him? Just wondering.

... to be continued.

I'll Call You Later

I don't know how many times I've heard this but I rather not, cuz its not true. Guys say this all the time. Its like one of those thing to say in conversation that you really don't mean but think the other party wants to hear. If your not gonna follow thru the call than don't tell me you'll call.

It's like that episode of Friends (yes I said Friends, don't judge me) when Rachel hooks Chandler up with her boss. Chandler doesn't like her boss but keeps telling this woman, "I'll call you". This poor lady keeps expecting him to call but he never does. And Rachel is freaking out cuz she set them up and she doesn't want her boss to hate her. So hilarity ensues and it makes for a very funny episode.

What I'm talking about starts at 1:00.

I've stopped believing this after I heard it a handful of times and the dude didn't call.

What's interesting to me is how a dude can get mad at you for not calling/texting them but don't see the problem in not hitting you back, LIKE THE SAID THEY WOULD. Does, "I'll Call You Later" in manspeak mean, "Baby, if I don't call you should call me"? I'm baffled. This happens especially with Spike and T-Bear. They will say, "I'll call you later" and they don't call. Not even text to say, "My bad, I got caught up" or something to that affect. But let me not hit them up... goodness I get told I'm running away and forgetting about people. Now I start each relationship (if you can call it that) by checking in with the guy I'm interested in every so often. But if you don't keep my interest I start doing it less and less. (Unfortunately thats just about the time I've really got the guy interested in me) Thats when the guy should step his game up, if he's truly interested, right? The one thing I respected about The Ex (there's not much I do respect) is when he said he'd call, he called. No matter how late, he called.

So my thing is, if your not gonna call, don't say you'll call. You have us all sitting by our phones waiting while you done forgot about the call you promised to make. I no longer trust this phrase. And if you say it enough and don't follow through I begin to not trust you either. Of all the things I love about Mr. E this is one of the things I just can't stand.

Now have I been guilty of this a time or two. Sure. But its so rare cuz I know how aggravated it makes me. And if I don't call that day I send a text that night and call the next day.

So why do guys say, "I'll Call You Later" and not follow through? I'd rather you not say anything and surprise me with a call. It'll make my day cuz it'll let me know I'm on your mind. The former lets me know you done forgot about me which doesn't help your cause.

So gentlemen, don't say it unless you mean it!

Oh Singleville... be continued.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

New Prospects

Ok, so I took a week off from all the shenanigans. I think my epic fail really got to me.

However, I still have new prospects. (How that is I don't know) But I don't know if I should proceed. One seems really nice. Very respectful but I'm not necessarily attracted to him. And he can talk. Oh my gosh can he talk. Another one is a medical student. Pretty good looking but something is making me hesitate pursuing this. Finally, another 20 year old showing interest. (Ok so he's really not a prospect. I'm holding fast to the no dating guys younger than me rule. Sorry Skittles. lol)

The problem? The first guy really wants to hang out but I'm not really ready for that. The last couple of months have been full of flirtations and dates and learning about these guys and I'm exhausted. Especially cuz all of them were busts. While I've learned a lot about myself I need a break. Plus some of the old guys are trying to make a comeback. Trying is the operative word. So here are some updates.

  1. I think I lost Mr. Wall Street. He didn't appreciate my sense of humor I guess. But that's cool. We weren't on the same page anyway.
  2. Spike hit me up saying, "I see your try to sneak away again". Baby, I ain't gone no where if you want to get at me I'm not hard to find.
  3. J will probably hit me up in the future but right now and then, no dice. Friendship is all I'm offering.
  4. T-Bear calls me talking about, "You forgot about me I see." Boy, please. As I said before you broke two dates with me without warning or a call. Don't come at me with that "I forgot about you" nonsense. Those with glass houses should not throw stones.
  5. Mr. Smith... yeah. He asked me to help "make him feel better". (Ya'll know what I mean) Let me think about this... No thanks. Moving on.
  6. City... was a distraction that I'm gonna leave in the past. Some things are better left alone.
  7. My epic fail has stopped calling, texting, and IMing. Hallelujah! Update: I jinxed myself. Tell me why he just hit me up on IM. Then when I ignored him hit me on my phone. Catch a clue dude. I DON'T WANT YOU.
  8. Haven't heard from Trig in a while. Which is not a bad thing.
  9. And the young buck I mentioned before (see Young Bucks on the Come Up) he is pressing me hard. Lawd have mercy, he about to be cut off.
  10. And last but not least, Mr. E. Lord knows I miss this man. Wrote him a peom the other day and been thinking about him like crazy but... I'm still a single girl. Yes I'd love to be with him and I've made that clear but unless he wants and acts on being with me a single girl I will remain.
So, as always Singleville is interesting. But exhausting. I need a vacation. And the new prospects are prospects and are up in the air. Do I really want to expend my energy on getting to know someone when it may go nowhere?

Thats the question I have to answer. be continued

I'm It

Ok, Ms. Sunshinestar you tagged me. I woulda done this yesterday but they be watching me at work so I couldn't post then and then when I got home my internet was down (Don't you just love technology). But anyway, without further ado...

Artist: Roberta Flack
Are you male or female: I'm the Girl
Describe yourself: Oasis

How do you feel: And So It Goes
Describe where you currently live: You Know What It's Like
If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Cottage for Sale

Favorite form of transportation: Trade Winds
Your best friend is: Suzanne
Your favorite color is: Be Real Black for Me

The weather is like: You Are My Heaven
Favorite time of the day: 'Til the Morning Comes
If your life was a TV show, what would it be called? My Foolish Heart
What is life to you? Tryin' Times
Your relationships: Looking for Another Pure Love

Your fears? You'll Never Know ('Til You Let Go)
What is the best advice you have to give? No Tears (In the End)
If you could change your name, what would it be? Sweet Georgia Brown
Thought for the day: Set the Night to Music
How would you like to die? Killing Me Softly With His Song
My soul's present condition: In a Sentimental Mood

I tag:
Enigma Jones
JSADTheKing be continued.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Dirt On They Shoe

I like to observe relationships (probably cuz I'm not in one). But I observe relationships to see how they tick and see the traits I want and I don't want in one when I am in one. So this relationship is one that I don't want to model. The title could probably tell you that.

Ok, so I've known this guy since we was little kids. We're about a year apart. Our moms are real tight. Used to hang with his sister. I've met a lot of his family. Yada, yada, yada. Me and him go way back. We'll call him Bamma cuz this dude got a booty on him, boy. Now I'm a girl who likes a nice, juicy... ok I was about to tell on myself. So I'll just say he working with a lot in the back and I'll leave it at that. Now back in the day I believe pretty strongly (he may dispute me on this) that he was feeling me. But at the time I was young, in junior high, and I was heavily into sports and thought boys were dumb. (Still into sports but my perception of the fellas has changed ;) ) Well, I think I hurt his feelings a little bit (ok, I know I hurt his feelings but c'mon I was young and dumb and this ain't the point of the story so I'm moving on.) Now as I got older, I will admit (begrudgingly) that I started feeling him (I mean he got fine on me all of a sudden) but I'm so over that now. I mean he's a good looking guy; gorgeous eyes, athletic, I already talked about the booty but... I don't just measure people by their outer appearence but their inner self and as the story continues you'll understand why I am no longer feeling him.

So he has been dating this girl for what has to be 5 years if my calculations are correct. Now I've heard about this girl, I've known about this girl (from his sister), I've seen this girl, I've even been in the same room with this girl with him standing right there and said hi to him but hadn't been introduced to her until recently. Ok, so that may not be that strange but it gets better (or maybe I should say worse). He has disrespected her so many times its unbelievable. At one point I knew more of his extended family then she did (he didn't introduce her to them until like 3 years in.) He has ignored her, let his sister disrespect her to her face, and in one case that I observed literally boxed her out of a conversation. I mean physically boxed her out like this was a baaketball game. I was outraged for her.

Now I respect her devotion to him but for me 5 years and no ring? No mention of marriage? Being disrespected to my face and treating me like you ashamed of me? You don't even introduce me to people you've known almost your whole life? "Not I", said the cat. "Not I." I woulda dumped his trifling tail such a loooooooooooooong time ago. Plus, homeboy was gone for a year at college without her. Only God knows what he was doing while she wasn't there. I mean he is fine and if he was treating her like dirt up here I doubt he would have any qualms about playing the field. (We woulda had a conversation about our relationship before he left cuz if he not thinking long term deuces. You do your thing I do mine. Its all good.)

After seeing all this I thought to myself, "Thank God I dodged a bullet because if he had disrespected me like that, ooh Lawd, I'd kill'em dead." Ok not exactly dead but I'd consider it. Lol. I mean he even treats me rudely at times (I never said we were friends). I let that roll off cuz I'm too blessed to be worried about his stupidness. You want to ignore me? Go on right ahead. My value is not found in you. You can pretend I don't exist and I can pretend you don't exist.

Why do I care so much? Cuz it hurts me that this girl lets him treat her like this. Everytime I see her I want to go over to her and give her a hug and say, "Girl, I'm here for you." Of course I can't do that. She'd look at me like I was crazy. But it causes me to ask, "Why do women, beautiful, bright, intelligent women allow men to treat them like the Dirt on they Shoe?"

I mean, honestly she could find a man who could treat her way better. What pisses me off is he knows better. His mother even corrected him the day that we were standing in the same room and he didn't introduce us. I'm not invisible. She's not invisible. Where are your manners?! (His mom ended up introducing us.) I mean let some guy try and treat his sister this way, he'd be ready to kill him. So why would you do this to someone else?

Frankly, if this was me, and it wouldn't be, but if this was me, the first time I was disrespected we woulda had a talk. The first time his sister got in my face it woulda got deaded right there. (Trust me, she has tried me before in the past and I had to squash that mess; fast, quick and in a hurry or one of us would not be here to tell the story) And if he didn't introduce me I woulda introduced myself.

This is my thing, if you ashamed to be with me that's on you but I'm not ashamed of who I am at all. And I woulda walked. Relationship done. I'd be gone, watch me sashay myself away from you, head held high cuz I don't need this BS. Puh-lease.

Where I see this ending up if they don't get married (or at the VERY least engaged) in the next year is that he will string her along and then some other woman (who is like his mother) who will put him in his place will saunter in. He'll dump old girl here because he don't won't need her anymore and he will marry this new one within a year. Two tops. I've seen it before. So she will have wasted all that time with him and what will she have gotten? Used and Abused.

Do I wish this for her? Not at all. But I don't wish for her to marry him either. I wish she would see enough value in herself to get up and walk away. In the long run her self-esteem will skyroocket with that decision. He's treating her like dirt. And I wish I could tell her but as my mom tells me, that's not my place.

I'm just trying to wrap my head around, "Why do women let men treat them like dirt on they shoe?" I don't understand it and while at times I have let guys walk over me a bit, I find now that I'm in the driver seat a lot more. If you don't like me. Fine. You don't call. That's cool but don't expect me to jump when you say jump. Ladies we need to find worth in ourselves because we are the prize. Don't ever forget that.

Men PLEASE step up! We waiting on ya'll.

... to be continued.


I have found that guys like to talk. A LOT. They say that they don't. That women will talk your ear off but trust me, if you give a guy a comforting smile and a willing ear he will tell you his whole life story. And I've heard a lot of life stories. But how much info is too much info to share.

I've heard about baby mommas, ex-girlfriend cheated with another girl, almost got engaged, parents moved away without me, my moms kicked me out, I was engaged, my pops and I don't get along, my girlfriend used to beat me up. I mean and the list goes on. Its like I'm these guys therapist. Lol.

While I don't mind listening (you find out a lot about who someone is when you listen) some of these things were told to after I had just met them. I must come off as really trust worth. But some of these thing I feel a girl should be eased into. I'm all for disclosure but are you trying to keep me interested or are you trying to scare me away?

To be honest some of the things I've heard give me a complex about the guy. It also causes me to watch what I say and do around them. I mean, really, if he telling me all of this what will he tell someone else about me?

I get that everyone has baggage. I have baggage too, but I don't share it just like that. I have to feel like the relationship is going some where before I put myself out there. Now I'm not talking about telling people about your favorite color or food, that you like to play football or that you think Rihanna is hot, but dropping that the reason your last relationship didn't work is because you caught your girlfriend having a menage a trois with your best friend and his cousin Pookie into first date conversation is not the thing to do.

So I guess the question is, how much of yourself should you reveal when getting to know someone new? How much information is too much information? Should you reveal things in stages? Are there just some things you should never reveal?

I'm telling, you talking to some of these guys I feel like a psychiatrist. I just can't prescribe medication (I really don't have a license to practice either. *shrugs*) lol. Are guys looking for a psychiatrist or a girlfriend? Yeah I can listen but don't expect me to be your ride or die chick and I've known you all of 8 mins. Be realistic. And this goes for girls too.

Sometimes people share too much. I think in some cases I've heard too much which kills the love connection. So how much is too much?

Guys say we women talk a lot. They ain't got nothing on us. Lol.

... to be continued.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

I'm on the bus as I type with this fine man standing in front of me. Tall, dark and of course he's an older man. Got your girl all twisted up and think things she shouldn't be thinking. Forgive me Jesus. These are the moments where if I had a man waiting at home I would put it on him and he wouldn't know why but he'd just be happy I did. Lol.
Lawd have mercy. I just needed to share that.

Will be back later with some new developments.

Never (well almost never, lol) a dull day in in Singleville

... To be continued.


I think my quirkiness shoots me in the foot sometimes. I am funny, but its that sarcastic, have to see my facial expression, situational kind of funny. So sometimes when I'm IMing, my replies can come off like I'm pissed. Which I'm not. Now for me to tell a straight up joke, nope can't do it, but I can drop down the irony and satire like nobodies bidness! lol.

While those who know me take it for what it is many guys just don't get my sense of humor. I can crack my family up with some of the quipps I be dropping but they know I'm joking and that its just a part of my personality. But this doesn't bode well for me relationship wise. Many guys take the jokes too seriously or can't handle me joking back with them. While sarcasm can make you come off as a bish, that's never my intention. Sometimes I have to make light of certain things otherwise they would break my heart.

I'm quirky. I always have been. I'm different, an outside the box type of girl. I don't really conform to the things that this world says is hot. I tried it once and didn't like it. I'd rather be misunderstood for being who I am and satisfied with myself then be a clone of what's popular and hate it. (But that's just me.) Not many people get that. So here are a list of some of the things that probably explain why I'm still single.

  1. My Sarcasm
  2. My "I don't care how I look today and if you do, go somewhere with yourself" attitude
  3. My mean mugging stare (My mom and sis like to say I scare guys when I'm walking down the street, but its a defense mechanism because of some of the guys that have tired to talk to me. Some of them needed to get mean mugged. I actually didn't even know I did this till recently)
  4. My Old Skool tastes (I like classic clothes, music. Soulful stuff. Old skool ideals. I was born in the wrong era I swear.)
  5. My mothering nature
  6. My "wiser than my years" personality (I seem to always be the youngest on my job, at leadership conferences, etc so I've learned somethings from the older folks I seem to always be around. While this helps in a lot of ways, one way it doesn't help is in getting a date.)
  7. Being a homebody (People don't understand it but I spend most of my time out, at work or at church and what ever else I do at that time so when I get to be home and let my hair down, I enjoy it.)
  8. My cynicism (Not much surprises me anymore and things that outrage people don't outrage me because I know how jacked up people can be. So why be surprised at the stupid messed up things they do? So I come off as a cynic. I say I'm a realist. *shrugs*)
  9. My "I can have just as good a time by myself or in a group" mojo (I don't need people to have around me to have a good time and sometimes I like being by myself. Why is this detrimental to relationships? Because (and guys will say this is not true) when you in a relationship the dude wants to be all up under you, at least that's my experience. "Can I come over?, want to go out tonight?, baby what you doing?" There is such a thing as too much togetherness. I'm the type of person who can be in a crowded room and be in her own world. Sometimes I need space. Everyone doesn't get that.)

    And rounding out the top 10 things that make up my quirkiness...
  10. My use of big words (You probably looking at me like, What? But I love words and I think in these big words that a lot of dudes don't know the meaning of. My sister likes to tell me I like to use my big dictionary words. But the underlying issue here is education. I want a guy on my level but many dudes nowadays don't complete college. I'm not saying that is a requirement to date me. My dad didn't finish college and he's one of the smartest people I know. But he's educated and that's what's lacking sometimes. I want an educated due. I hate the blank stare I get when I'm flowing and I realize I lost them with a word I used or when I can't even broach a discussion on a current events issue because I know they probably won't know what I'm talking about.
So... yeah. I have a lot of great qualities but my quirkiness is one of those obstacles that is keeping me in Singleville that much longer. Are the things on this list that terrible?

Would I change me? Absolutely not. I like who I am and I hadn't been able to say that in earlier times in my life. This just means that there is some special guy out there who is looking for a 5'4 woman, who likes old skool music, has a cooky sense of humor, uses big words, loves God and love to eat! He's out there. God's grooming him for me.

Mr. E...*sigh* be continued

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Highlight of my day...

Why was the highlight of my day getting my nails done? Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a little but not that much. So I'm looking forward to this all day. 6 o'clock could not come fast enough. Now there's this nail salon near where I work so I figured I'd go in there and see how much they charge. First, they don't do acrylic; ok fine. So I ask her what they do? This traditional wrap and uv gel. Ok, sounds good to me till she tells me the price. $80 for traditional and $100 for uv gel. Is she crazy?! She talking to the wrong one. Spend $100 on a leather coat, no problem. Spend $100 on my nails that touch dirt, type all day, and clean my behind? Absolutely NOT. Thing was there we're people in the salon getting their nails done. I wanted to say, "Say whaat?" But I refrained from letting the ghetto out in the salon. I think I schooled my face pretty well as I walked out that salon (I do work downtown near Wall Street so I shouldn't have been surprised but still).

Now I haven't gotten my nails done in years (like 4 years) so I don't even know if the place I used to go is still open. So I'm walking and hopin' and prayin' and then I see...It's still there. I was able to walk in, sit in the chair immediately, and get all 10 fingernails wrapped, painted and dried in under an hour. Thank ya Jesus. Of course my sister had to tell me to not get a color and/or design that made me look Jamaican for real but I neva do anyway (them bright colors my countrywomen be wearing). So I'm happy with my nails. I had forgotten how good it feels to treat myself.

I was gonna post a pic but I felt it'd make me look like a loser (No more than this post does, but anyway). So I'm happy.

In other news, big changes to report. I'm going to be switching jobs in September cuz, in case you didn't know, I can't stand the one I have now. Everything is working out for a smooth transititon. I'm so stoked. So its not a huge change cuz its a job for the company I had worked for before and there is no pay raise but my happiness meter just shot through the roof.

Finally, why does my epic fail text me this morning at 2:45 AM asking,
"Is your phone working yet?"

Ain't nothing wrong wit my phone, there is something wrong with you. Most woulda took the hint that I don't want to have anything to do with you but his brain is rocks. He keeps making that abundantly clear. I'm so proud because I did not reply. (My relpy woulda been rude. It was 2 in the morning and I had to rise early for work) So maybe he'll think my phone is broken and stop calling/messaging. (Lord I hope so.) I am still baffled by him. He probably baffles himself too.

... to be continued

Young Bucks on the Come Up

Ok so this came to me out of a IM I got last night. I've talked about the phenomena of the young buck (see Is Young the New Black?) before but it just occurred to me that I've had a few pursue me.

Last night a guy that I had talked to briefly (and when I say briefly I mean briefly, maybe a month, maybe) hit me up trying to rekindle something. While at first I couldn't remember much (I had talked to him like 4 months ago) it slowly came back including how old he was (he's 21). I also remembered that he and his friend had both tired to talk to me simultaneously (see The Last 2 Weeks). That in and of itself was high school games. But I entertained him. So we talking and he's trying to exercise some swag (which was actually pretty good). He tells me he's not in school and not working but has an interview to work at JFK coming up. (Side Note: Does everybody form the NY work at JFK nowadays? Everytime I've asked a guy lately where he works he say JFK. Just wondering.) So I think to myself, not in school, I'm a college graduate. No job, I currently work full-time as an accountant. How is this gonna work? But he's persistant. Wants us to hang out. So I tell him pump your breaks let me see a pic of you. Pic comes. Why does he look 17, 18 at best. That is the end of the discussion. What do you have to offer me? Now this is not the first time this has happened.

Poetry (his writing skills are on point) is a 20 year old who pursued me hard. I met him about a year ago. I love a man who can flow. In our first IM convo he told me he wanted to write a poem with me. Every response I wrote he wrote a counter poetic response. It was hot. It was original and definitely sparked my interest. After that he would send me poems thru email. Alll of them deep, heartfelt, and just plain awesome. Before I know it (like 3 convos in) dude is asking me to be his girlfriend. Whoa! Sure I was feeling his vibe but man, we just getting to know each other. He talking "I can be everything you need in a man. I want to give you everything mentally emotionally and physically." I asked why, cuz dude barely knew me at that point. Plus he was a full time student. I was still in school and working. So what, we were to live on love a lone? He told me because I had been hurt before and I deserved better. (Now I had been hurt but really?) This threw me for a loop. This just didn't sit right with me so I threw him the friend card and he stopped hitting me up. So recently he hit me up again with this same deal. But this time more intense. (In like the first IM convo he asked me to be his girl). Now I'm all for being bold but this don't make sense to me. So I say to him I don't usually date guys younger than me, send me your picture. Pic comes. He looks 16! I'm like, this is definitely not going to work. So I had to throw him the friend card again. At least he saw it coming but he wanted me to say yes I yours and thats not me. I weigh the pros and cons first. I do miss the poems though. Lol.

Finally, there is Skittles. (He is a candy fiend.) I've know him for at least 4 or 5 years. And he has had a crush on me since he was 15. But get this he is 5 years younger than me. (Yes, 5) He has been telling me since then that we're gonna get married and have kids. The whole nine. Now at first I thought it was funny and cute. Until I realized he was dead serious. Everytime he sees me he tells me, "You know I love you right?" Its so bad that every time my friends see him they tell me my husband is coming to see me. (No joke.) And boy is bold. Trying to steal kisses, if I'm not home when he stops by the house he gets upset, he even gets pissed if I have a boyfriend. So when he turned 16 he says, "When are we gonna get together?" I am 21 at this time. Do I hear statutory? So I tell him when he turns 18, graduates from high school, and comes to church. So when he turned 18 last year, back he came with the same question. He had the first, was working on the second (He graduated this past June. So proud!), and we won't talk about the third. This time I told him when he gets a job. I'm sure once he does that he'll be back. While he does look young, he is super attractive. Chocolate skin, athletic build, gorgeous smile but mad young. *Sigh*. If he were older I'd get with him in a heartbeat (Don't tell him that cuz then he'd never leave me alone) but as I said before, what we gonna live on, love a lone? Thats not me. Pros and cons. Love doesn't pay bills.

Why do I say all this. Because these young bucks are aggressive nowadays. They make it plain and they be bold. They older counterparts on the other hand, I've found, play way too many games. (Not all but a lot of them.) They also seem to be more into their careers. A lot of these young come ups through are sexy as hell and can get a girl in trouble. (Watching any college game now makes me feel dirty when I oogle the players cuz I know I'm older than almost all of them).

Now I'm not old, I'm 23, but I've been working for almost 10 years now so when a guy says to you I gotta get my money together and then we can go out and the date is to Starbucks (this has happened) there is a problem. We all know that they money is coming from the allowance they parents give them. Lol. Now I could wait for them to grow up and get older but then that means I'd be older too. (Skittles likes to mock me with this saying, "By the time we get married you'll be old." Ha ha.) But even if I wait for them to get older in age that doesn't make them mentally and emotional older. Dilemma.

I'm an old soul. I love old school music, poetry, history and discussing world events. (I know this makes me sound boring but really... oh who am I kidding I am a little boring but I'm ok with that. Lol.) Not much in common with a young buck at all. I mean I usually have very little in common with guys my own age. This probably explains my love and appreciation of older men. I mean just today me and my sis where talking about Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown and the little boy she babysits asked, "Who is Bobby Brown?" Ouch. I felt so sad.

The thing is I'm trying to get to marrywood. And while it may take a few years to get there I can't imagine waiting a few years for a young buck to get older then wait a couple more years for them to want to get married. I'm looking for a man who has a job (with benefits, lol), appreciates good music and can hold a decent conversation without too many "yo mas" and "you know what I'm sayings" in there. These young bucks are just a tease. Could I get a man with the cahones of some of these guys? You know a guy I can't get arrested for dating or I can at least take to a place that serves alcohol. Lol. To my older gentlemen, be a little aggressive, show some boldness (an not just about wanting to sex me up) and put yourself out there.

This single girl is waiting for the right man to step up. I know he's out there.

Mr. E... be continued.

Monday, July 20, 2009

The Saga Continues...

Why does my epic fail continue to contact me like we cool? I'm a little baffled. Did I miss something? Was he not on the same date I was on? Maybe he thinks pissed off, sarcastic girls are hot? Whatever the case he's still...a FAIL

On Saturday, he hits me up with "What up"
So I replied, "What do you want?"

Can you believe he had the nerve to be surprised. So he calls me. I don't answer. He leaves me a message to call him back. I will do no such thing. I text him I can't talk what do you want? No answer. If you think that was that you'd be wrong.

On Sunday, he IMs me asking about my weekend. I gave him curt, one word answers.

Today, he texts me "Good Afternoon Sexy". I'll say it before and I will say it again. The drugs that he smoke are superb. You got to be kidding me. I ignored that one totally.

Oooh foolishness is so sad. be continued.

So Pissed Off

"So pissed off
Lookin' at life through the glass that you

That Angie Stone song is really speaking to how I'm feeling. First of all my day at work was trash. Then this...

BS that shouldn't have happened but did happen. I speak the truth. People tell me I'm too nice, that I need to set people straight. But when I tell the truth they get upset. Give me a break.

"You need an inner appeal so your anger just relieve
I never meant to cause you pain
But it was there before I came"

I try not to put people on blast but truth is truth and the anger you feel at me may be misplaced. Instead of looking at me, look at yourself. Because if the truth angers you then you don't like the truth of what you do. And the problem is with you. Many issues in the world today arise because we let people walk around like what they do is fine and never tell them what we truly think. I'm not talking maliciously but don't say nothing.

I write as a release. It's therapy because I have a lot of things going on in my head. Lots of thoughts that want to be released. Some people can't take the things that I have to say but I refuse to silence my voice. For so long I've said nothing. Just sat back and watched things and bit my tongue. Did that make things better? No. And then we'd just shake our heads and shrug our shoulders.

I'm done shaking, now I'm talking. If I can't talk about what's going on in my head here, in my own blog space, where can I?

I'm not putting anyone down just stating facts. In Singleville is where my life happens.

" Can't let you go on with it
Now cuz you pissin' me off
I don't wanna be stressed out
I don't wanna be stressed out"

I don't wanna be stressed out so I'll let it go and keep doing me.

"Brotha can I live, can a sister live
God damn"

Thanks Angie! Every time I listen to you I always feel better.

Never a dull day in Singleville. be continued

Friday, July 17, 2009

Epic Fail

So I'm back with the full story of the fool who pissed me off royally last night.

So grab some popcorn, get settled and buckle your seat belts for this one.

Ready... Set... Go

Ok so, this fool started himself off on the wrong foot from jump street. I'm trying to look out for him so he don't get lost coming to my house. So I call him to ask where he at. He tells me where so I ask him some questions cuz I'm just trying to make sure he going in the right direction. He tells me "I can follow directions if they're given to me correctly." WTH?! First, strike.

Ok, so he finally gets to my house. I'm outside waiting and what does he say to me. No, not hi or how you doing. "Open the gate." WTH?! So I say, "If I wasn't outside you woulda had to open the gate yourself. This fool tells me, "I would of called you and told you to come open the gate for me." WTH?! Strike 2. (I shoulda left him outside my gate)

Ok, so anyone that knows my family knows we don't have AC (Don't look at me cockeyed. Talk to my parents about that one). So I tell him that my house is really hot we should sit outside. But of course he wants to see for himself. Fine. The conclusion he came to? We should sit outside. (Duh, I told you that. *smdh*)

So we go back outside and sit on my stairs and he says, "Why didn't you tell me you had a hot house?" I tell him because it never came up in conversation. You didn't ask and I didn't think about it. I'm the type of person who gives info when asked and I don't really think about somethings until I'm in the situation. You know what he told me? "Wow, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." This is definitely strike 3 and this fool acted like that was a perfectly acceptable thing to say. Really? My man got so many strikes last night I lost count.

You think things couldn't get any worse right? WRONG. What happened next has to be the start of the worst first date conversation ever. First thing he says, "My baby moms is so stupid." (This will become a theme.) He proceeds to tell me he can't stand her, she mad stupid cuz she lets her new man hit on her and then goes back to him, and she's now pregnant by said new man. Then he proceeds to tell me why he don't go pick his son up from her house no more cuz she tried to call the cops on him so his parents pick him up. (I didn't even know he had a kid. Nice intro.)

Then he proceeds to open his phone and make a phone call. WTH? I can't believe this. And the convo went something like this,
Where my money?
I need my money.
I'm in Philadelphia at this party.
You know I can fly anywhere I want.
I'll just hop on a plane to New York tomorrow morning
Alright, just have my money ready, ok. Bye.

Besides this being hella rude. (I'm sitting right there.) He was talking to his Aunt! *SMDH*

So he tells me my block is mad quiet and that where he live the prostitutes walk down Sutphin Blvd. That the women fight over dudes in the street or they fight they boyfriend in the street and when he hit her she be jumping on him. They just so stupid.

Then he decided to tell me that I'm not West Indian because I wasn't born in Aruba or Jamaica where my family is from. Negro, (I really want to say the N word but I so despise that word even though he was acting the very definition of the world) don't tell me I'm not that which I know I am. I grew up in a West Indian household and just cuz I was born here doesn't change who I am. Fall back. My pissed off meter is rising.

So we get on the topic of dance lessons. And this is when 3 of the STUPIDEST things I've ever heard a man say came out his mouth. Men don't go to dance class, don't go to the museum, and don't go to church. Now with him saying men I think he meant real men because he was trying to say he was one. HA! (He is definitely not the definition of a real man. Trust.) According to him only gay men take dance classes and go to museums and churches are only filled with women. WTH?! Now I'm giving dude the side eye.

Then he kept telling me I was mad young. Now I get this a lot but the way he saying it made me sound like I was ignorant, stupid, and simple. Most people are surprised at how old I am because of how mature I am so his condescending tone was definitely rubbing me the wrong way. My temperature is rising.

This fool stayed on his phone the whole time. So I started texting my sister about this jackass. I'm laughing and he didn't even know that it was about him. Idiot.

Then he tells me he has TB. WTF?! But wait, he's not contagious. (Can you feel the sarcasm) He had to take B6 and vitamin injection for 6 months. I just rolled my eyes cuz even if its dormant in you (apparently once you get TB even when treated it never leaves your bloodstream but its not harmful to you any longer) I could get that ish. Not that I was close enough to him for all that but still. But his reasoning for how he got it is beyond ridiculous.

So, he starts off by saying "I was out with this girl at 42nd Street and her Metrocard didn't work so when I swiped she came in behind me." Pause. Any true New Yorker knows that 42nd Street station is the busiest subway station in the city. Cops are all over that place. So it was no surprise to me what he said next. "So I got stopped by the police." (Duh) "So I got arrested because I had a warrant out for my arrest." What follows next is the dumbest reason to have a warrant out for your arrest. He continues.

"I had a warrant out for my arrest because a year ago I was on my friend's stoop and the cops saw us and stopped. I swear cops stop you just for being black. They are so stupid. So anyway they come up to us and say to my friend what's your name. My friend said Shawnee. (Shawnee a dude but the way) So the cops start clowning on his name. (while the cops were wrong I will admit I giggled at his name too.) So I get tight and I get up to leave. So I grab my bike and the cop is like you leaving and I'm like yeah and he like why and I'm like because you clowning my friend. You mad stupid cuz that's not funny. (Why would you tell a cop he stupid?) So the cop says oh for real and I like yeah and he gives me a summons for having my bike on the curb. So the minute he drove away I torn the summons up. But cuz I didn't pay it, that day with the turnstile instead of getting a summons I got arrested. So I spent one day in jail and that's where I think I got TB. I couldn't of got it from the outside"

You should have seen the look on my face. Is he serious? He can't be serious. But he's like "Why would I lie about having TB. I would lie and say I didn't have it."

But it gets better. According to him all women are stupid. (He really can't be trying to impress me.) And we're crazy too because this girl her met he asked her to drive him to the store and while they in the car she get a call and its a dude and apparently she's all like awe baby I miss you and stuff. So he got tight and said something and the guy on the phone said who that and homegirl said oh that's just my brother. That's good for his trifling self. I wouldn't want anyone to know I knew him either.

He said his father was stupid because his father won't let him live in the other house his father owns (hmmm, that's his prerogative) and because he wouldn't buy him a coat his senior year of high school. (Dude, you 26. Let it go.) So I ask him where does he live. Fool says, "Oh, wow. You don't pay attention". (This is not the first time he's said this to me.) WTF?! Now I'm really pissed. At no time did he tell me that he lived with his parents. So now my sarcasm is in full force. I'm so done with this Negro.

So I say, "Could you stop talking to me like I'm helpless and stupid?" He says, "What did I say to make you think I think your helpless?" I pause cuz I also said stupid in that sentence, right and I told him as much. He say, "I know why you said I'm talking to you like you stupid but I don't know where you got the helpless from." WOW!

Now he talking about I'm hungry you should cook me something. Aw Hell Naw Negro. You disrespect me and my house and want me to cook for you? I give him a look like "fool you tripping" and I tell him the only places open around my house are Burger King and McDonalds. "Naw I don't want that." Then I can't help you Negro.

So after he told me a story about some cruise he went on, he made yet another phone call, and ignored me looking for a place to eat I had had enough. So I said "You ready to go?" He said, "If you kicking me out I'm ready." WTF?! Are you kidding me? So I'm like lets go and he's like can you carry my bag for me? Hell NO douche bag you carried it here you can carry it home. I shoulda let him find his own way to the bus stop but I, still trying to be nice, walked him to the bus stop. So we walking and there were these women walking in front of us walking slow. I already had in my mind I was gonna go around them but before I even got the chance dude says, "Can you walk?" and grabs my arm to pull me around them. I kindly pulled my arm out his hand and walked around the other way. Idiot.

So we get to the bus stop and I explain to him about the buses. No "thank you" did I get. So I'm waiting with him and finally (after 2 seconds) I'm like "You good here cuz I don't want you to get lost or anything." I'm being polite cuz there's a lot of different buses that go through my neighborhood. He say, "How can I get lost at the bus stop?" That was the benediction. I kindly turned around and took myself home.

Now I know you probably think that it ended with that. You'd be wrong. Cuz I wake up the next morning to the following text.
I made it home safe if you care.

Negro. What in the Name of ALL that is Holy is wrong with you? And then he has the audacity to text me.
Good Morning.

WTF?! Did I miss something? You disrespect me, treat me like ish and bascially call me stupid to my face and expect me to still want to talk to you? What drugs do you smoke because they must be real good. If you ask me sir your stupid, your simple, immature, and crazy as hell.

What's crazy is that all this happened in the course of 2 hours. 2 hours! It took 26 years to grow that dumbass, bootlicker and 2 hours to make me want to snuff him out. Lord Jesus you were my strength because I was vexed. I hope he knows he was an...

Just like this security camera is capturing nothing, neither was/is his brain. be continued.

Update: Just want to let you all know that if you're flying out of JFK if you can avoid Delta Terminals 2 & 3 I would advise it cuz that's where this fool works. If not send up a prayer to heaven because this dude is the one putting the fuel in the planes over there and with his lack of common sense you'll probably will need to anoint the plane with holy oil.
I'm just so pissed i had to post this now but I'll go into more detail tomorrow. This fool i just met is the rudest, most condescending, scarcastic jackass I've EVER had the displeasure of meeting. He even tops the Ex. (Thats saying something.) Thats why I didn't even give him a name. He definitely proved he didn't deserve one. And swagger... puh-lease. I wanted to slap the black off him and sew his lips shut. Officially the worst first meeting ever in life. And if he thinks we gonna do this again he got another thing coming. And I'm through til tomorrow. I'm gonna have to put on some Anthony Hamilton cuz only he'll be able eo calm me down. Oh, the blood of Jesus. I did NOT need that tonight. be continued.

Thursday, July 16, 2009


"What's going on?
(echo) What's going on?
Tell me, what's going on?
(echo) What's going on?"

Love that song. Who sings it?

Anyway, just thought I'd update you on the happenings in Singleville.

J is just about scrapped. The other day he text me asking when we gonna hang out. Ok cool. Then he says that if we make plans in advance I can't cancel. WTF?! So I guess I won't make plans in advance with you. Guys, don't try to exercise swagger you know you don't possess.

Trig is still in NC, still waiting for his court date and still hitting me up. (Isn't it funny that when he had access to me you always wanted me to hit him up. Now that dude is stuck he hitting me up all of a sudden. Hmmm. Makes you wonder.) Update done cuz anything romantic that could have been ended when he decided to get arrested. Next.

T-bear has run his course. After you break two dates with me without explanation or an "oh, my bad" you are done in my book. Breaking dates I understand (cuz then that would be me calling the kettle black) but for BS reasons or no reason at all... Sorry boo. But its cool cuz I wasn't really feeling him anyway.

Spike is, as I said, in the dog house. Ok so you read in Friday Night in the Village that I said he was there. But its not because he didn't pick up his phone. I was a little pissed at that, trust me, but it was the next day when he hit me up that got him chained there. See I still had a good time even though we didn't meet up but then you tell me "Why didn't you call." I did. "When it goes straight to voicemail it doesn't register as a missed call. Why didn't you leave a message?" I just didn't think about it at the time. "Well, you should of been more dilligent in trying to get in contact with me." Wait. Hold up. That statement right there is what got him chained to the dog house. More dilligent? Dude, c'mon now. I am not in school no more and you are not a class I need to pass. That's when I'm dilligent. If you wanted me there so bad why didn't you call me? *Crickets* Exactly my point. "I didn't have service." But you were checking your phone all night. Don't throw salt into the wind baby. It'll fly right back in your face. After that my perspective of him changed.

Mr. Smith. My poor baby just been going through some things. In one weekend his apartment had to get fumigated because he got bed bugs, his car got towed, and then after he got it out of impound it stalled out on him. Now, does it make me a bad person that the first thing I thought when he told me this story was "Oh, Lord I hope I didn't bring none of them suckas home wit me." I mean I feel bad for real cuz I care about him and the situation is jacked up but I really hope that none of them things took a ride home wit me. I mean I had been in his apartment before. That would be disastrous. (I shudder just thinking about it.)

Mr. Wall Street almost got cut from the team. But I'm into giving people second chances. The other day he walked me to the train station on my way home from work. (Nice). Invited me to his birthday party. (Really nice). And even offered to pay for me to get on the train. (Super nice.) I know what ya'll thinking, the paying for the train is super nice, gurl puh-lease. However, the train fare just jumped $0.25. Saving me a swipe gets you a pat on the back. Lol. Well he friend requested me on myspace which was cool. And then I looked at some of (ok all) of the pics he had posted. Looks can be deceiving boy. Cuz he looks really clean cut but in them pics he looks like he know how to get down wit the get down. And I'm not really a party girl. I thought Lord have mercy I don't know if I can keep up with him. (He told me my page was conservative and family oriented. I think there's a clash here.) But we'll see.

Now there's a new guy trying to make his way on the scene. He doesn't get a name yet cuz I don't know if anything will come of it yet cuz he kinda gets on my nerves. Its never a good idea to talk condescendingly to a girl you say you feeling. He done rubbed me the wrong way already so he gonna have to have some crazy swagger to keep me interested. We supposed to hang today. As of right now he's a fail.

City (see City: the OG) he's not new to me but new to you. I met him a few years ago by chance. He was fine then and he's fine now. He's that delicious piece of chocolate you know you shouldn't eat because it will go straight to your thighs but you are soooooooooo tempted just to take a little bite. The problem is, you never stop after the little bite. I saw him once again by chance and I almost melted. Lord forgive me. I knew I shouldn't have reached out to him again (we've been out of contact for a while) but I did (see, that little bite) and now he wants me to come see him. Knowing what happened the last time I saw him my brain is screaming ABSOLUTELY NOT! Well my body and mind need to get on the same page cuz I'm starting to contemplate going to see him. (That would be me not not stopping after one bite) And with him I probably won't stop after two either.

And finally Mr. E *sigh* When you wake up most mornings to a dream of you sexing him I think you got it bad. Would you agree? And it's not that rough, lusty stuff neither. It's that gentle, sensual, looks deep in your eyes as you cum together, next level lovemaking. (Whew. I need to fan myself) If he don't work it out that I get to see his sexy self I might just go crazy.

And Marvin Gaye sings, What's going On? Oooh I just love Marvin. be continued

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

City: the OG

I love older men. Specifically older black men. I don't know what it is but there is something incredibly sexy about them. This post is named after one in particular that is dear to my heart. I saw him the other day and all I could say was "dayum, he is still fine" because he is so sexy to me. His skin, his body, his swagger ...Yum!

Now I'm not talking men pushing 70+. No thank you. I'm not looking for a sugar daddy. Nor am I looking for a man that needs to pop Viagra. I'm talking about men in their 30s and 40s. In good shape who take care of themselves and look a lot younger than they are. They're like a fine wine, they got better with age.

Maybe its their drive that attracts me. They usually know what they want and do what they have to do to get it. And nothing is gonna stop them.

Maybe its their experience that's exciting to me. The knowledge and life experience they have to share with a willing and open mind. The things that they have to teach an eager pupil.

Maybe its their confidence. Their swagger. That little sly smile they throw your way. Or that look that says, "there is no shame to my game". Less fear. More bold. Sure of who they are and what they want out of life.

Or maybe I just think they are fine. Just absolutely gorgeous. Sexy beyond all reason.

Usually these men offer stimulation in addition to the physical. There's nothing sexier than a man I can discuss current events and politics with. Mental stimulation is just as important to me as physical attraction. They have a girl straight tripping. Licking her lips excited for a conversation.

Their skin, their strength, their mind, their walk, the way they carry themselves, their... everything is addicting to me.

And their passion? Lord have mercy. They can make a girl lose her mind. They know how to touch, where to kiss. They know the right rhythm and depth. Fast, slow, mercy... Just had a flash back :) (Waiting for my breathing to return to normal.)

My friends don't understand it but its just something about them. They could get it any day, any way, any how. When I see one I sit up and take notice. They make me bold. Checking them out. Thinking thoughts that I shouldn't be thinking. Wishing... *sigh*

Yes I love them older men.

Now if only Mr. E could get his act together.

... to be continued.

Friday Night in the Village

So Spike invites me to this party in the Village on Friday. Free cover, free drinks. I'm in there. So me and some of my girls get ourselves all dolled up to go out. I'm on the train with my girl Tee on the way there (my other girls were meeting us there) and I say to her, "Girl this is gonna be a funny night." I had never spoke truer words in my life. The moment I said that this man got on the train with this little keyboard with this inner tube thing attached to it and begins to blow into it and play every show tune known to man. We look at each other and shake our heads. (Only in NY) And it was on from there.

Many people say that women are thirsty. Ha. Men are even thirstier. Lord have mercy. So we finally get to our stop on the train and we walking to the exit. We in the train station mind you when this man who works in the station, had to be in his forties, sees us and stops what he's doing to watch us walk. SMH. Just thirsty.

So we get out of the station and we are lost. So we ask some MTA employees and they had no clue. I'll calling Spike, no answer. I call my sis whose supposed to meet us, no anwser. We looking at google maps all confused. Lol. Finally my sis calls and they lost too so now we trying to find each other. Lol. So after we find each other (we just walked till we met in the middle which was like 2 blocks. lol.) me and Tee realize that where we were orginally was just across the street from where we were supposed to go. Sigh.

So finally we get to the lounge where the party is at and they tell us the party ended at 10:30. We got there at 11:30. What party ends at 10:30? But anyway, I looked at my girls they looked at me and we bounced. I had yet to hear from Spike and it was whack as all hell in there so we left.

And thus began our adventure. We decided to walk around to see what else was happening. We ended up walking from Bleeker Street to 1st Ave. Now your girl is rocking 4 inch stilletos so by the end of the night my calves and thighs were burning baby. I was surprised I was even able to walk the next day. At least my muscles got a workout. But on our journey we met some characters boy.

So we walking, talking, acting silly and this group of guys comes seemingly out of no where and blocks our way. Of course I'm walking the slowest so my girls bascially escape but the guy that decided to stop me gets in front of me and starts shuffling from side to side so I couldn't pass. It reminded me of those football dummies that the players use in practice. Lol. I wanted to laugh. I was like this fool. I kindly side stepped him and I hear him and his friends talking bout "Work it girl. Thats right shake them hips."
As I said, Thirsty.

Finally we get to this club, its like 12:30. But they said it was $25 cover. Now normally it woulda been whatever but the original plan had been to go to a party with no cover and free drinks. Now we at $25 cover and paying for drinks. So, I looked at my girls they looked at me and we bounced.

By now I'm starving, my feet hurt and I need to sitdown. (Thats the price you pay for being cute.) So we decide to find a place to eat. Here comes thirsty guy #2. So we are crossing the street (please keep in mind we are crossing the street) when this guy in this huge truck comes and makes a turn. He then leans out his truck and says "Baby stay right there, I'ma pull over." Wait a minute. We are in the middle of the street and he said stay right there I'ma pull over. Dude you done lost ya mind. I looked at him smiled and kept on walking. Did he really think I would risk getting run over?

So we finally settle on this little food place with this huge glass window. And we sit down (thank God) to just people watch. Some of the things we saw. Lord have mercy. Some the outfits ladies rock these days...its a crying shame. And the men, Lord have mercy, the men. One guy's pants were almost as tight as mine and anothers pants were tighter than mine. That cannot be good for your boys at all. One man was so big that his shirt was caught in his roll and he was dribbling this milk stuff on his shirt. Just a mess and we was dying.

But, we order, chilling, laughing, having fun and then this guy comes in the shop. He looked scarier than a mother. I was gonna say something smart to my girls but I looked up and saw him looking at me and thought better of it. So he orders and while he eating its like he in a trance all staring out into space and we like, "What the heck he staring at?" Finally he finishes up and is leaving so I turn to see which direction he gonna go and he walks to this sexy car. (Why the scary, crazy dudes always got the banging rides?) So anyway, I'm peeping his car hard but trying to be inconspicous. Epic FAIL. Cuz he saw me and he must of thought I was checking him out cuz now dude wants me to come out to the car. "Hell No, We won't go". So now I have my back to him. I don't want to give him anymore ideas. But he still trying to get me to come out. So him and Tee are having a convo about me through the door of the shop. (We was sitting by the door.) This is in essence how the convo went.

Guy: (Points at me)
Tee: Who her? (Points at me)
Guy: (Nods) Tell her to come outside.
Tee: She can't.
Guy: Why?
Tee: She's deaf (we are rolling)
Guy: What?
Tee: She's deaf, she won't be able to hear you. You'd have to sign to her. (proceeds to demonstrate sign language)
Guy: So what? Thats ok.
Tee: Hows that gonna work?
Guy: (shrugs and laughs)

Finally, I turn around and he smiles before he pulls off. Now with the smile he looked halfway decent but never woulda happened. I might not have come home. Lol.

With that we decided to call it a night.

Only in Singleville would you get stopped by a wanna be NFL lineman whose defensive shuffle was on point, a guy who wanted to talk to me so bad he woulda caused a traffic jam by pulling over in the middle of the street, and a guy who was willing to talking to me in sign language just to get me to come out to his car.

And Spike...Is in the dog house. be continued.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

The Ex

He makes me sick.

I try to be the bigger person and be friends with exes. Thats just who I am. But I am only human and sometimes I see things that piss me off. (If you not sure of the foolishness he do see This Fool Has Got To be Kidding Me) Its crazy cuz when I see this particular ex I smile all sweet but secretly I'm thinking, "You are such a jackass and I wish I could tell you off." But I don't say it. I keep the peace. But the trash I peeped just now, I had to let go cuz I'm simmering ova here.

You should never remain friends with an ex if they are your friend on a social network. Delete them immediately because all the stupid ish they be doing pops up in your news feed. You look at they profile and your like who is this person? You be looking at they status like WTF?! We all know you ain't that holy and if you are now why wasn't you like that when I was dating you? Or you see some of the convos they have with people and you like oh hell naw.

Now usually I ignore them. I don't go to their profiles, only acknowledge them when they acknowledge me, and if I do pay attention to their status changes I get a little chuckle out of it and roll me eyes.

But today, in my news feed of course, a convo he having with a good friend of mine pops up. I don't know why I went to read the thread of this convo but I did and I'm like WTF?! It seemed a bit inappropriate to me. Now what he doesn't know is that all the dumb ish he did she knows. And we laugh about it, shake our head, and roll our eyes like, this fool.

Now I'm not trying to hate and I'm not mad because I want him back. (Been there done that, neva, eva, eva to return) I'm pissed for the lack of respect. (But why should I expect that from someone who didn't show me respect while we dated either?) Now I'm beginning to think that my girls were dead on the other night when they said he seemed to be all up under her. To do that in my face is a bish ass move and shows your true character.

I don't know why I expect him to do better than he does. He hasn't changed in six years why do I expect him to catch wisdom and respect all of a sudden? All I know is that every time I see him or wateva I leave feeling some kinda way (like murderous or at the very least want to rip his arm off his body and beat him with it).
The thing is when we broke up I coulda retaliated and f-ed him up. My sister was begging me to saying that if I didn't want to she would. Had people wanting to tell him off and ish and I kept that all back out of respect. Because I'm betta then all of that even though I would of thoroughly enjoyed it. (He still don't know that my momma itching to tell him about himself) But I'm about done wit this fool. I can be nice but for so long before I break on you.

One of these days all them things is gonna slip out my mouth and when it does I won't be sorry.

Breath girl breath. Had my blood pressure all elevated and stuff...oooooh

Pray for me be continued

'Hideaway' will take your breath away this summer

Hideaway by Tessanne Chin
When I listen to this song I'm transported to another place. Where everything just feels so right. Its an instant vacation. If you've never given her a listen you definitely should.

Fine Again by Anthony Hamilton

Its cool, languid. You want to wrap yourself in it and your body can't help but move to it. And I just love Anthony any time of year.

I'll Always Be Your Baby by Natalie Grant

It flows over and through you like a warm summer breeze. Such a beautiful song.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Why do I Abstain?

That is a good question because even I wonder why I do sometimes. (And then I turn on the news and I remember why. Lol) And men seem to be intrigued by it, mostly because they want to see if they can get me to change my mind. (Fellas only I can change my mind)

But other than the promise I made to God for purity (which I fail at miserably a lot of times, you should see some of my fantasies) I have two main reasons why I abstain.

1) I believe that sex is truly for marriage. People give me the side eye when I say this but its true. I could bust out some Bible verses on you about this matter but instead I give it to you this way. When you unite together during sex your bodies, your souls join together. I don't want to join with too many people in that way because along with the joining come memories and comparisons. As a married couple you become one (not literally but spiritually) and that's a connection that you share with no other person. When I join with my husband the first time I want it to be just me and him. Not me and him and his ex-girlfriend and my ex-boyfriend and my ex's ex's ex-boyfriend pookie.

2) I'll become addicted. Most people think that because I abstain I don't think about sex. That couldn't be the furthest thing from the truth. I think that I think about sex more than most woman. I'm a freak (point blank) and I know that if I do it just once I'll be like an addict looking for a fix. Real talk. People think that I'm innocent and in some ways I am but if they only knew... Mr. Smith even said to me, "Once you get some you'd probably be addicted." He never spoke truer words. Because of this and knowing myself I need to keep myself locked down. If I'm out. Lol.

So these are the reasons I abstain. Love it or hate it. And my husband will be a very luck man. *wink* be continued.


Today seems to be the day of question marks.
I'm in this mood. Which is hard to explain other than unfulfilled.

I have all of these guys that I'm talking to and yet feel in no way that I am any closer to my goal of getting to marrywood. Yes I know, I should relish being single. Blah, blah, blah. I've heard it all and that's not the point.

My goal is meet the man that I'm supposed to marry, that person who will fulfill me. I'm not talking about giving me purpose. I'm talking about someone who can give me all the thing I can't give myself. Companionship. Yes friends can give you this but at the end of the day they ain't lying next to you holding you and if they are what type of friends you got? (raising my eyebrow) Children. Yes I can adopt or get a sperm donor but why is that necessary? I'm still young and half the fun of having kids is making them ;). Sex. I don't think I need to explain this one but in case I do, I'm not trying to service myself so...yeah. Finally, love. All consuming, passionate, I'll do anything for you, can't get enough of you, you will still be hot to me 50 years from now love.

While all the guys I'm talking to are nice and they all give me some of the things I'm looking for its not the complete package and I always end up with the feeling "somthing's missing". And almost all of them lack my most important requirement. A relationship with Christ. *sigh*

So its like I'm back to square one. And even more depressing, on my way home from work this lady gets on the bus with her rolly backpack and her groceries. She had a nice body, tall like a supermodel, long hair, all the things society says you should have. And she was single. And I thought, that could be me in 10 to 15 years. On the bus struggling with my bags looking just sad with a big floppy hat on. I wanted to cry. That is my greatest fear I think. One of my mom's friends who I love dearly is an amazing woman but she's single too and still saying well maybe one day... I can't be like that. I'd go hoping mad. Justing sitting there waiting for my prince to come. I can't do this roller coaster ride for no 10 years I bearly can handle it now.

And the statistics aren't any better the ratio of black women to black men is like 8 to 1 (i'm pretty sure but don't quote me) which is like insane. And most men nowadays (notice I said most not all) want to hit it and move on. So the ratio is 8 to 1 where most just want sex and I'm celibate. Plus I'm trying to find the one that loves God, wants a commitment and has a job. Do you now understand my frustration?

The Lord knows all things. Including how long I'll be here in Singleville. And if I'm here much longer I might do something I ain't supposed to do. (I think I've already begun me dissent.) Lord help me.

Singleville makes a woman crazy especially when she is having less than holy thoughts. be continued.