A Busy Bee

I've been living life in the fast lane. Every hour of my life seems to have been a buzz with activity.

So here is whats been going on in a nutshell:

• I turned 24 :)
• It rained all day on my born day but its all good (I got to do nothing but relax and eat cake)
• For my birthday (the following day) I went out to see Avenue Q
• The following week Washington took me out for my aforementioned birthday (why is he so cute?)
• 6'8 feels that I'm neglecting him
• The screen on my phone froze (its touch screen) so I got locked out of my phone, lost all my contacts and can't figure out how to post to my blog again thru text because I LOST ALL MY CONTACTS!
• Mr. Smith, T-Bear, the MC, and Honey have all tried to make a comeback
• My "pay you for pictures" friend proposed that we date each other!
• Skittles, Lord have mercy, continues to express his undying love for me and started to kick it up a notch (I really don't need that right now)
• Work is killing me ( a friend joking told me I should just move into my office *sad face*)
• My sister wants me to move to Texas with her
• I've been planning youth activities for the last month and I'm exhausted
• And after my last doctor's visit I have a clean bill of health but I could stand to lose a few pounds (maybe that's why my jeans nowadays are fitting a little snug)

So yep, that's it, I think. Will hopefully be posting more soon. I need a serious vacation. I need more ME time.

What's up with everyone else?

... to be continued. 

Shout Out to All My Pisceans

My birthday is on Saturday, what should I do to celebrate? Any suggestions?

Is It Wrong? - In Life there are passengers and there are drivers...

We've all seen the commercial or heard the saying,

 "On the road of life there are passengers and there are drivers..."

So is it wrong to sometimes want to be a passenger or should we strive to always be in the driver seat? Any thoughts?

I don't know. Sometimes I like to be the passenger taking in the scenery if you will. But driving definitely has its perks.

What say you?

It wasn't a date, It was therapy!

Lol. So the title doesn't begin to explain this but here goes.

I am apart of the eHarmony community. My name is Dee and I am an online dater. There, I said it. I confess. Lol.

Anyway, this past Saturday I met one of my matches. He's a divorced father of two and came down here from Philly. Now its a Saturday, my usual lazy day and we're are supposed to be hanging for the day so I went casual: hair pulled up in a ponytail, gray skinny jeans, tee-shirt with a pullover hoodie, and my fuggs (cuz they ain't real uggs). I thought I looked presentable but apparently not because when I met him in Manhattan he had on dress clothes. So I tried to downplay it by cracking a joke about how our signals got crossed as far as our clothes and he said, "That's not my fault." Strike one against me.

So I take him to a diner in my neighborhood for lunch. We go in, sit down and I didn't realize what I was in for. I'm not a very talkative person especially if I don't know you but he felt I was too quiet. Maybe I was because the vibe he was giving me didn't lend itself to me opening up to him. One thing people might not know is that I like a man who can carry the conversation. It shows me what he knows, what his interests are and if they click with mine.

Now he could carry a conversation but it seemed like the conversation became a critique of me! He started by saying I wasn't truly being myself. That if I gave him 6 months he could bring the true me out and I would like my new self. So I'm thinking to myself, "What's wrong with who I am?" Apparently lots of thinks. Lol.

So, I'm too self-conscious. Now I will admit that I have body issues. But honestly what woman isn't a little self-conscious? So I dress to hide certain things. Its not like I wear a potato sack but for him I wasn't dressed sexy enough. I should have put my best foot forward to make him say, "Wow I want to come out here next weekend." (Don't you love when they assume they'll get a second date).

Ok, so I should have got my hair done, I should have shown more of my curves and I should have worn high heels. Hair? Ok maybe it wasn't salon perfect. I'll give him that. More of my curves? There is no way I can hide all my curves and I didn't try to either. But #1 I'm a B cup so its not like they are popping out and #2 as many times as u checked me out from the back u didn't see what I was working with? Then thats on you. And the heels, I'm walking all over creation with you and you want me to where heels? Thats just unrealistic. But it gets better.

Then he points out to me all the women I should have dressed like who dressed for their man, to give him that feeling of stimulation. *side eye* He said I need to be confident in what I have so that I will dress to show it off and be able to "shake what ya momma gave ya." Hmmmm. Yeah. Ok.

Then he points at my ears. "Whats all that?" Mind you I have 4 holes on each ear but I was only wearing three earrings at the time. "Why is this necessary?" Now I'm like bruh u trippin'. I'm not the most pierced girl on the block by any means and he had a problem. "I'll buy you some nice earring."  It was starting to sound to me like he wanted to make into his Stepford wife. No thank you.

All in all (according to him) I didn't put my best foot forward and first impressions are everything. Did he honestly think he was making a good first impression on me? Did he think him checking out other women was a good look or telling me how he told his waitresses at the restaurant he used to manage to dress sexier to get better tips was good first date conversation material?

Then for him to say, "This is me. I'm just saying whats on my heart." Check please. I couldn't get rid of this guy fast enough.

So we're on the bus ride back to the city and he tells me I'm wasting my potential at the job I'm at. Not that I asked. That I'm wasting my 20s because I'm too responsible. Who says that? But what really clinched it for me was this, "If I come back to NY to see you I will see if you have taken what I've said to heart because you will dress differently." Wow. When we got to the bus station I was so happy his bus was right there. God is so GOOD to me. That was the first genuine smile I cracked the whole date. Lol.

So for $9 (Metrocard fare) I got a therapy session I didn't even want. But hey, in this economy it was still a steal. It helped me realize that I like me and I am beautiful and while I am a work in progress being me is quite alright.

The comedy of the day was (after he tore me to shreds), "But I'm really glad to see you face to face."

LMAO. Bruh please. Needless to say there will be no more visits... to see me at least.

... to be continued

Gentlemen Do Still Exist

So this date is like a week old now but I've just been so busy. Anyhoo....

Two Saturdays ago I went out on a date with Ghana (its where he is from). He had been trying to talk to me for ages but I wasn't totally feeling him at first and then I was with Washington but my man is persistent so I gave him a shot.

So we go out for a late lunch and he opened doors, ordered for us, guided me to my seat, looked at me while I spoke, and held my hand. I had to check myself for a minute to see if I was actually in the year 2010 because I didn't think they still made this species of man, the gentleman.

I was pleasantly surprised and a little taken aback. I just wasn't used to it. But it was nice and I liked it. He definitely had my attention. He makes me laugh and he's sweet but... I don't know. Well see where this leads. I'm not sure yet.

... to be continued.

Visiting the Ex

So on Friday I saw Washington and..... It was fine.

I thought it would be awkward and weird but it was totally cool. While me mom doesn't get why I felt I needed to see him it gave me a sense of "We can be friends and just kick it and be cool."

I needed to know that, to feel that. Now, I ain't stupid. This will not be an every week occurrence. He is still fine, I ain't dead and neither is he so I'm not trying to play with fire. But at least I know that our friendship can work and I can stop obsessing over it.

Being in my head sometimes is not a fun place.

... to be continued.

The wierdest people ride the bus. Why is there this man sitting here chaning his voice to sound like cartoon characters? So far i've heard mighty mouse and barney. Including sound effects. Wat is wrong with people these days? Smh.

... To be continued

Remind me never to wait this long to go to the doctor again. Two years is too long. I've had to do a check up, labs, this test, and that test. If i was doing regular check-ups i wouldn't be up in here right now. Whose got the time for this? Gosh. I've had enough visits to last me a lifetime. Well, at least year. Lol.

... To be continued

Did u know that when ur monthly "friend" comes to visit it means ur egg pops? Smh. Some of the things teens talk about on the bus these days is crazy and they so wrong. Its the blind leading the blind somtimes. Lol.

I also learned that guys prefer to cut then shave their nether region. And only if that was the end of the convo. What happened to the days when we used to talk about who we thought was cute? Gosh. Lol

... To be continued

"There's Something Very Sexy About ..."

"There's something very sexy about being submissive." 

Do you think this is true? I know we live in the post feminism era but do you think that there is truth to that statement? Is that what men are looking for in their women?

Thoughts

... to be continued

Is It Wrong? - Non-negotiables

Is it wrong to have non-negotiables when it comes to relationships? Non-negotiables are those things that you just can't compromise on. They are different for everyone. Some of mine are faith in Jesus Christ, no excess cursing, integrity, faithfulness, good hygiene, tall among others.

Many people may not understand why they have been "disqualified" (if you will). With that being said, is it necessary to accept them even if they don't "cut the mustard" as the saying goes? Because somehow they will be hurt. (For example, Its not like ya'll didn't have chemistry you just couldn't see how your lights out by 9 pm life fit with ther party all day and all night mentality) Should you feel bad because they don't meet the standards you set? Should you relax your standards in any way? Do you feel that compromising your non-negotiables will make you happy or only make you miserable and bitter later down the line?

What I find interesting is that when you refuse to compromise your non-negotiables with a man he gets offended, like you've hurt him or don't care about him yet when you ask that he compromise a non-negotiable either you take it (deal with it) or leave it. Then if we decide to leave it they get upset.

How is that fair? I compromise but you don't. Somethings wrong with that picture.

So is it wrong to have non-negotiables? What are some of yours?

... to be continued