Thursday, May 14, 2009

Technology Gives New Meaning To A 3 Way

I know that title makes it sound like this will be a dirty post. Sorry to disappoint. Or maybe not. Anyhow, in the last week I learned how one can cheat on someone and not get caught (not that I'm cheating on anyone. That would require me being in a relationship and me being capable of cheating which I'm not). I am not condoning cheating in anyway, shape or form but I now understand how it is possible.

A few posts ago I talked about exploring my options as far as men go. While I haven't plunged head first into "the experiment" I find that I am talking to 3 men through 3 different mediums, and in 3 different age groups. As always Mr. E is my on the top of the list and we communicate mostly through email. T-Bear (obviously not his real name) I met 2 weeks ago. I mentioned him in an earlier post, we communicate over the phone. And Trig whom I talk to through AIM.

Mr. E is my older man. Sweet, good looking, sexy voice. He stimulates me mentally which is so important for me and he's supportive. I've been getting frustrated though with the scheduling conflicts we always seem to have lately and I feel that is something that keeps me from going any further at the moment. Still my heart is moving in his direction (although I tell it to halt). I can talk to him so easily and this could turn out to be the perfect relationship. Exactly what I'm looking for. Could.

T-Bear is younger than me (not by much though). This is new and different territory. He is also very sweet and I get a good vibe off of him. He is doing things which is nice to see and I feel a good connection forming. But the attraction remains to be seen. This is mostly due to the feeling that we may be in different places (this is mostly my issue though). To is credit he does try to talk to me almost everyday which I realize is something that I need from a guy. You like to know that you cross his mind. His voice is nice but it doesn't cause me to close my eyes and sigh like Mr. E's does. However, when I can create a friendship connection with you that bodes well for what can happen in the future. It means I trust you which rarely happens with people I just meet.

Trig is about me age. He's fine and very mysterious. He's nice but reserved. In many ways he reminds me of my initial approach to dating. Picky, laid back, and guarded. This is kinda exciting because I like projects. I want to find out more. I usually don't have to work so hard to get info out of a guy (which usually causes me to hit the door) but he answers my questions with such honesty and its intriguing. How serious this can get through is iffy because I feel our values differ greatly. I've learned a lot of interesting things about him. He appeals greatly to a side of me that is dangerous. The side that I've only let surface in her entirety once. So here I must tread lightly or I run the risk of entertaining some really outrageous fantasies (we won't go there though, hopefully).

So right now I'm entertaining three guys that I can keep totally separate from one another. There is no, accidentally sent you the wrong message or called you by the wrong name. In actuality they never have to cross paths. A couple of years ago this wouldn't have been possible. But now technology has opened this door.

The thing is, although I'm technically not doing anything wrong I feel like a player. Coming from the side of being played and trying it out in the past myself I don't like what it does to the other party and for me in particular it shows me a side of myself I don't necessarily care for. While it can be exhilarating in the moment afterward when the dust settles pieces are left to be picked up.

I'm a one man gal. Get to know one guy at a time, learn his ins and outs and my conscience is clear if he ever decides to ask, I'm I the only one. But people keep telling me get out there. Meet new people. So am I just a too old fashioned, do I need to leave my comfort zone and play the field?

My only concern is my heart. It seems I give it away freely. What happens if I give it to all and to no one person in particular. Then what? Will I be able to deal with that? Its one thing to have a divided mind, its another to have a divided heart.

While these new guys represent exciting new possibilities,

there is still Mr. E... be continued


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