Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Friday Night in the Village

So Spike invites me to this party in the Village on Friday. Free cover, free drinks. I'm in there. So me and some of my girls get ourselves all dolled up to go out. I'm on the train with my girl Tee on the way there (my other girls were meeting us there) and I say to her, "Girl this is gonna be a funny night." I had never spoke truer words in my life. The moment I said that this man got on the train with this little keyboard with this inner tube thing attached to it and begins to blow into it and play every show tune known to man. We look at each other and shake our heads. (Only in NY) And it was on from there.

Many people say that women are thirsty. Ha. Men are even thirstier. Lord have mercy. So we finally get to our stop on the train and we walking to the exit. We in the train station mind you when this man who works in the station, had to be in his forties, sees us and stops what he's doing to watch us walk. SMH. Just thirsty.

So we get out of the station and we are lost. So we ask some MTA employees and they had no clue. I'll calling Spike, no answer. I call my sis whose supposed to meet us, no anwser. We looking at google maps all confused. Lol. Finally my sis calls and they lost too so now we trying to find each other. Lol. So after we find each other (we just walked till we met in the middle which was like 2 blocks. lol.) me and Tee realize that where we were orginally was just across the street from where we were supposed to go. Sigh.

So finally we get to the lounge where the party is at and they tell us the party ended at 10:30. We got there at 11:30. What party ends at 10:30? But anyway, I looked at my girls they looked at me and we bounced. I had yet to hear from Spike and it was whack as all hell in there so we left.

And thus began our adventure. We decided to walk around to see what else was happening. We ended up walking from Bleeker Street to 1st Ave. Now your girl is rocking 4 inch stilletos so by the end of the night my calves and thighs were burning baby. I was surprised I was even able to walk the next day. At least my muscles got a workout. But on our journey we met some characters boy.

So we walking, talking, acting silly and this group of guys comes seemingly out of no where and blocks our way. Of course I'm walking the slowest so my girls bascially escape but the guy that decided to stop me gets in front of me and starts shuffling from side to side so I couldn't pass. It reminded me of those football dummies that the players use in practice. Lol. I wanted to laugh. I was like this fool. I kindly side stepped him and I hear him and his friends talking bout "Work it girl. Thats right shake them hips."
As I said, Thirsty.

Finally we get to this club, its like 12:30. But they said it was $25 cover. Now normally it woulda been whatever but the original plan had been to go to a party with no cover and free drinks. Now we at $25 cover and paying for drinks. So, I looked at my girls they looked at me and we bounced.

By now I'm starving, my feet hurt and I need to sitdown. (Thats the price you pay for being cute.) So we decide to find a place to eat. Here comes thirsty guy #2. So we are crossing the street (please keep in mind we are crossing the street) when this guy in this huge truck comes and makes a turn. He then leans out his truck and says "Baby stay right there, I'ma pull over." Wait a minute. We are in the middle of the street and he said stay right there I'ma pull over. Dude you done lost ya mind. I looked at him smiled and kept on walking. Did he really think I would risk getting run over?

So we finally settle on this little food place with this huge glass window. And we sit down (thank God) to just people watch. Some of the things we saw. Lord have mercy. Some the outfits ladies rock these days...its a crying shame. And the men, Lord have mercy, the men. One guy's pants were almost as tight as mine and anothers pants were tighter than mine. That cannot be good for your boys at all. One man was so big that his shirt was caught in his roll and he was dribbling this milk stuff on his shirt. Just a mess and we was dying.

But, we order, chilling, laughing, having fun and then this guy comes in the shop. He looked scarier than a mother. I was gonna say something smart to my girls but I looked up and saw him looking at me and thought better of it. So he orders and while he eating its like he in a trance all staring out into space and we like, "What the heck he staring at?" Finally he finishes up and is leaving so I turn to see which direction he gonna go and he walks to this sexy car. (Why the scary, crazy dudes always got the banging rides?) So anyway, I'm peeping his car hard but trying to be inconspicous. Epic FAIL. Cuz he saw me and he must of thought I was checking him out cuz now dude wants me to come out to the car. "Hell No, We won't go". So now I have my back to him. I don't want to give him anymore ideas. But he still trying to get me to come out. So him and Tee are having a convo about me through the door of the shop. (We was sitting by the door.) This is in essence how the convo went.

Guy: (Points at me)
Tee: Who her? (Points at me)
Guy: (Nods) Tell her to come outside.
Tee: She can't.
Guy: Why?
Tee: She's deaf (we are rolling)
Guy: What?
Tee: She's deaf, she won't be able to hear you. You'd have to sign to her. (proceeds to demonstrate sign language)
Guy: So what? Thats ok.
Tee: Hows that gonna work?
Guy: (shrugs and laughs)

Finally, I turn around and he smiles before he pulls off. Now with the smile he looked halfway decent but never woulda happened. I might not have come home. Lol.

With that we decided to call it a night.

Only in Singleville would you get stopped by a wanna be NFL lineman whose defensive shuffle was on point, a guy who wanted to talk to me so bad he woulda caused a traffic jam by pulling over in the middle of the street, and a guy who was willing to talking to me in sign language just to get me to come out to his car.

And Spike...Is in the dog house. be continued.


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