They Liked me, They really liked me : )

Over the weekend I met Washington's family and.... *drum roll please*

They LIKED me. Hallelujah. *heavenly angels singing*That was a huge weight off my shoulders. I was nervous for absolutely no reason. They were so nice and chill. I was totally comfortable with them. They laughed and cracked jokes. It reminded me of my family a little bit. Washington told me to just be myself and thats what I did.

I decided on a picture frame and a card for his mom... Which of course I left at Washington's place. I totally spazzed, probably cuz I was mentally freaking out. *smh* so he gave it to her for me. He said she liked it. So I'm taking his word for it. (I breathed a sigh of relief when he told me.) Which is good.

In two weeks he comes to my house for dinner. I hope that it goes as smoothly as Saturday went otherwise I'm gonna start to hyperventilate. I'm gonna have to keep oxygen I stand-by cuz I know I'll be holding my breath the whole time. Lol.

Crossing all toes, fingers, etc.

... to be continued

Meeting the Parents

So over the weekend Washington met my parents. I chose a pretty light setting to do so. At the Hallelujah Party we have for the kids at my church. It was great by the way. But anyway, I think it went well. I think he was nervous, I know I was.

But the run down I got from my fam after they met him was pretty good. My family reads vibes off of people so accurately that I have come to value their advice. Now some of wat they say I look at them sideways but they have turned out to be right so many times that when they talk I listen.

1. My brother. He is who met Washington first, may be one of the toughest cookie to crack seeing as how he is brutally honest when it comes to the guys I date. And he has liked very few of them. But.... he liked Washington. They both had each other laughing and my bro said he was cool. Which is a sigh of relief considering that with my last boyfriend he looked at me and said, "I don't like him. Never have, never will."
2. My mom. She has mastered the art of in about 10.5 secs of knowing your character through body language and how u introduce urself. Its amazing. She has told me straight up, "Naw, he's not the one." Or "Nope, He ain't it." I always say to myself if the guy can't cut it with my mom he won't be able to survive the rest of my family. So she met Washington, they had a little convo and the verdict.... "He seems like a nice guy. I have to get to know him better." He gets a second audience with my mom! Thats like huge.
3. My dad. The Pastor. He's usually the easiest to win over. Hmmm... not so much this time. He showed his protectiveness this weekend although he did say that he thinks Washington really likes me and that he's a respectable guy. The Elephant I keep talking about (that I will post quite soon) coupled with me being his daughter is making him a little closed minded which he usually isn't.

But overall, they want to get to know him better which is really good sign and he's willing to hang out on my side of NY more so that they can get to know him which is also a good sign so....

Everything (toes, fingers, ankles, etcs) are crossed. We'll see wat happens.

Singleville... whew. First hurdle leapt over safely. But he still has to meet my sister. :-/

... to be continued

Thanks God for the Moms

I'm truly blessed to have all of the motherly figures that I have in my life. They challenge me, talk to me, love me, and most importantly pray for me. As a kid you don't appreciate them like you should but now as an adult I truly value their love, concern, support, and most of all wisdom.


I say this after an insightful conversation with my mom this passed Saturday and then having lunch on Sunday with a good friend of my mom whose known me since birth. I've now stepped into the realm of having your mom as your friend. The mutual respect and the fact that they want you to succeed and not make the mistakes they did is now seen not as an attack but as a loving. I'm enjoying this new shift.

I have such respect for the motherly figures in my life. I don't know what I would do without them. So here's a big shout out with much love to the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (my mom's circle of friends), my godmommy hailing from the DMV, and of course my mommy (the original Lady D). You guys will have my heart forever.

... to be continued.

She's Gone!

She's gone. My sister has landed in Texas safely. Thank God. Was up at 5 this morning to see her off at the airport. Sitting in the car with my eyes all shut holding her pillows. Helping her unload her stuff. But my sister is in Texas. : (


Me and my sister have this amazing relationship. Yeah we get on each others nerves sometimes but we thick as thieves and if you mess with one you mess with both, ya heard. Lol. Anyway, we had never been apart from each other until she went away to college 4 years ago. (She graduated this passed May. So proud.) I mean we went to the same daycare, preschool, private school, and high school. People used to think we were twins. (Not now but back in the day)


So when she graduated and came back home we thought she'd be back to stay. Nope. She's an active person and her job as a house sitter (unemployed) wasn't gonna work for her so she applied to this teen missions school in Texas. Texas! Now there is nothing wrong with Texas but it is soooooooooooooo far from the NY.

When she went away to school yeah it was hard but her school was in the Bronx. She was only a bus and 2 trains ride away. Now she's a plane ride away. $4.00 roundtrip (Back then. Dag on MTA raising the fare.) is a lot cheaper than a $100 or more plane ride. : (

Thankfully she'll only be gone for a year but how will I survive Singleville without her? She's been there through all the antics, foolishness, joys, laughs... everything. The person to give me kick in my pants advice. Bust a gut laughing over a situation that almost pushed me too far. I know I can call but its not the same. Her facial expressions are the icing on the cake.


*sigh* I know I sound selfish. The truth is I'm gonna miss her. I miss her already but I know that she has to follow the journey God has set before her just like I do. Lord, can't they run a little closer together?

Well, I will survive. The year will be finished before I know it and she'll be back. Until then I'll miss her something awful. : (

... to be continued

This Lady Lost Her Mind

The lady I'm referring to is my aunt. We all knew she had problems but she took it too far this time. "This Lady Lost Her Mind".

Sunday was my grandfather's funeral and up to that day she had been giving my whole family grief about every little thing. Yelling at my other aunt (her little sister), stressing out my dad, pissing off my uncles, and totally destroying what little relationship she had with the rest of her nieces and nephews. But Sunday, oh my goodness, on Sunday she took it too far.

The service was beautiful, everything was flowing. Everyone was saying such wonderful things about my grandfather and if that had been how the funeral ended the tone of this blog would be totally different. But it didn't because as I said "This Lady Lost Her Mind".

So we're at the part of the service where you could go up and say things about my granddad. It was going well until she got up there to speak. First of all, everyone was given clear instructions to go to the mic on the side of the pulpit to give their acknowledgments and you had 2 minutes to do so. She goes up onto the pulpit. Right there with that move we knew that there was gonna be a problem. Then she busts out literally a ten-page document that she proceed to read for the next 20 minutes. The preacher wanted to stop her but she's the daughter of the deceased, how would that look? So we were all stuck.

Now it was bad enough that she got on the pulpit, slapped down this 10 page obituary about herself (that's how it sounded), and proceeded to read it. But what pissed me and the rest of my family off is how she then in this document bashed my aunt, her sister. We sat there floored as she totally ripped her a new one (her sister -the good aunt- had been the one who took care of my grandfather throughout his entire illness. She's a nurse and worked long hours at the hospital to come home and take care of my granddad, her father.). For Miss. Thang to get up there and lie saying that it was a burden to her and that she couldn't take it anymore and all this nonesense was total disrespect. And then to tell the bold faced lie that she, herself would sit at my grandfather's bedside when we all knew she didn't even come up to see him until her sister yelled at her was beyond comprehension.

What hurt the most was the fact that my aunt (the good aunt) who sacrificed so much for the love of her father was disrespected in front of a church full of people by a woman who was waiting for him to pass away so that she could get the money that he left to her. My dad was so insensed he started praying out loud and my uncle was a split second away from snatching her off the pulpit. And her daughter (the good aunt) was so hurt because she watched how hard her mother worked. And she too made a sacrifice. It can't be easy at 14 to watch your grandfather dying and pass away in your house.

You should have seen the looks on the faces of the people in the audience. Total disbelief that she even went there. And the realization that she was the one with the problem. She was looking for sympathy and she couldn't find any. Its because, "This Lady Lost Her Mind".

I was so pissed but in that moment as I saw the rest of my family sitting in the pews I was so proud because we kept it together for each other. Even as she could have caused us to fall down to her level we rose above it by letting her reveal herself as the foolish woman she is.

That was the only blemish in an otherwise beautiful celebration of my grandpa's life. He would have been ashamed of her display but I know that he would say we must forgive the ignorance of one who knows better. So in the spirit of the example he set I shall do so. But she has done some almost irrepairable damage to her sibling relationships because "This Lady Lost Her Mind".

You know what's truly sad, if she ever got sick, the same sister she threw under the bus would be at her bed side to take care of her cuz the rest of us surely wouldn't. And that's the bridge you burn?

I hope she never needs a hand to help her up cuz she'll soon realize that she ain't got none willing to reach down to pick her up.

(shaking my head) I just needed to vent. I would have wrote it Sunday but I would of been cussing up a storm in here. I needed a few days to return to breathing normally.

At Peace

My grandpa passed away yesterday morning. Most will probably think me heartless with my next comment but tough.

I'm not sad. I'm relieved and happy. For the last couple of months its been hard, knowing that he could choke to death and then him falling. It was breaking my heart that the man I knew as strong and independent was becoming frail and dependent on others for his care. He was feeling like a burden when that was the furthest thing from the truth and he wanted to go home to be with the Lord.

How can you be sad that one of the people you love most is now free from pain? Will I miss him? Of course. He was my last living grandparent and one of the sweetest people in life. But just knowing that he's not suffering anymore, that he's finally with my grandma (his wife, who his missed all this time. She died October 2003), and that he's free gives me peace.

No more choking, no more falling, no longer frail because for him absent from the body is present with the Lord. He has a new body free from cancer, that stands up straight without assistance, in a place where only happiness can abide. I have happiness and peace knowing that he is free. And hope.

Hope that one day freedom will come for me. Freedom from choking, freedom from falling, freedom from fraility.

And one day, I'll see him again...

London Bridges Falling Down

At 91 with throat cancer you would think that you would be out for the count, lying in your bed, letting people wait on you hand and foot. Obviously, you haven't met Cyril Herron. My grandfather is one of the most independent people I know. He wants to get up and walk around, and do this a do that like he is still 90 or something. Well this past weekend he and his stubborn self got up to do it himself, which comes as no surprise (when he was in the hospital he was MIA because he decided he wanted to go for a walk).

What is surprising is that he fell. Now if he was a spring chicken this would be no big deal but he's not. (Hence the title of this blog.) And the reason for concern. We all know he's not gonna take this lying down.

It just goes to show that God can make a lesson out of anything. How many times have I fallen? Tons. I'm not a young spring chicken in my faith (I've been a believer for 16 years). With each new fall it gets harder to get up from.

My little cousin is who found because even though nobody thinks she's listen she always is. Just like God is and before you know it help is coming.

When haven't we all felt frail and still wanted to show we could do it? When haven't we fallen? But I want to be like my grandpa. Although he fell (he's alright thank God) I know his spirit isn't broken and I know that he will try to get up and forge ahead again on his own.

The next time I fall I want to be able to get back up and try again. I don't want my spirit to be broken or to stop in fear from doing something great. My grandfather has taught me that life will try to knock you down but that doesn't mean you don't fight with everything you have left.
He's fighting, everyday, and we know that he won't necessarily get "well" again but his spirit, his heart, his pride that will never leave him.

Is my spirit, is my heart that strong? Does my pride in who I am in Christ trump all that life throws? With all the falls come new experiences, new challenges, new nuggets of wisdom. Will I have the courage to get up and forge on?

If God is always there ready to pick me back up, why not?

Didn't mean to be preachy, I'm just writing what's on my heart. I really appreciate your prayers.

I'll keep you posted.

The Unfairness of it All

My grandpa is still not doing well. My dad says that it getting harder and you just wonder why? My grandpa is the sweetest man you could know. Always willing to help. So loving, so active, so strong. And now... You wish that God would take him home. If anyone deserves it its him. You can never say that he wasn't a man of God. His life is a testament of his faith and commitment to the Kingdom. But God knows all and everything works for good for those who are the called according to His purpose. As a believer this is hard because you don't to see him suffer. But God knows how much he can bear and how much our family can bear. Although I wonder at the unfairness of it all I know God is good and that He knows what He's doing. I am so thankful for all the prayers for my family. The power of prayer is beyond words. It's something you have to witness to understand. No matter what happens, to God be the glory. Soon he won't be choking anymore and neither will I.

Choking

Grandpa update and it doesn't look good. The tumor on his throat is growing and it will continue to grow until it chokes him to death. It reminds me of how we allow things to choke the life from us. The rest of us is healthy but that doesn't matter. If one part is bad, thats enough to take life from you. I hope that the Lord releases him from this before the inevitable takes place. Just as I pray that the Lord releases me from what seems to be choking me now. Life is... As the burdens get poured on I look at my grandfather and see his faith and I think, if he can trust Him in the midst of this why can't I? When life is trying to choke the life out of me will I trust in the Giver of the life for the peace I so desperately want?

We will see on both accounts. We both want release. Will see how it happens.

Grandpa

I went to visit my grandfather who is 91 and suffering from throat cancer. To see someone you love in pain is so difficult. You wish that you could take the pain away. You could see and feel that he was in pain and all I could do was sit and watch him. Yet, at 91 he is one of the strongest people I've ever know. His faith has never wavered, his handshake is still strong. He is who I want to be when I grow up. Life isn't an easy journey but when you see someone who in the midst of it all can still smile, still have hope, still be strong in spirit and faith it inspires you to live a life so much better than mediocre, so much richer, so much strong than where you currently are. A part of me wishes he could live forever, his death will leave such a void in the lives of my family. But knowing that one day I will see him again and it won't be how I just saw him makes my heart glad. Even as I wanted to cry I thank God that he allowed my live to be aligned with such a great man of God. A legacy passed to my dad, down to me and hopefully to my children. I love you Grandpa. Well done.