Excused

This is such an asinine show. Google it. It's worse than the other late night dating shows that used to come on UPN9, like Blind Date. Ugh!

All I know is that if I got excused off that show it would NOT be pretty.

That is all.

... to be continued

U Can't Be Serious?!

Washington continuously proves to me why I made the RIGHT decision in breaking it off with him.

He continues to try to convince me that what I believe is wrong. He is doing everything in his power. He even told me to use my brain because I am too grown to believe in God!

I don't understand his process. Does he seriously think I can sway me from my faith? Does he think that he can get me back by critizing me and what is a part of me?

I have been in a relationship with God for almost 20 years and He has proven time and again that He is faithful, He loves me, and wants the very best for my life. How could he possibly think that I would end my 18 year relationship with God for him?

It seems like we always have the same conversation and I'm tired. I've stopped explaining why, I've stopped entertaining him really. I let him talk and then I say, "ok wateva". I not gonna change his mind and he DEFINITELY ain't changing mine.

But he really can't be serious if he thinks this approach is gonna make me come running back to him. Smh.

... to be continued.

You're Not Animals

With all these scandals that have come to light in the media (Tiger Woods, Jesse James, Tiki Barber, Shaq, etc.) I have to say this...

I am so tired of people making excuses for men who cheat. I even heard one woman say it is in a Black man's DNA to stray. WTF is that?

"He's a sex addict. He couldn't help himself."

I don't want to hear another psychiatrist or "sex expert" try to give "scientific" (side eye) info for this phenomena. How about they just wanna f*$! everything they see and they know they can get away with it? When will we stop making excuses for bad behavior? When will we stop tolerating it? I will not accept that its ingrained in men to cheat. Not when I know that is not the case.

Its about self-control. And we all need to exercise it. Men don't have to stick their peen in everything that has a vagina. Sometimes men you need to keep that thing that swings between your legs in your damn pants. I'm sorry but the last time I checked only animals were the ones that could not control themselves.

The way I see it, gentlemen you should be insulted because they are reducing you to animals in heat that cannot control their basic primitive urges. Get a clue. You can control yourself.

You're NOT Animals!

End of Rant.

 ... to be continued  

A Girlfriend On Loan?

Since when is is cool to have a girlfriend on loan to you from her sugar daddy?

Did I miss something? Is that how black celebs get down these days? And men are co-signing on this.

WTF?!  A girlfriend on loan from her sugar daddy? I'm hoping this story ain't true but if it is I have to say this:

THAT'S NASTY!!!

Ain't no reason for all of that. Go find a girl you don't have to pay to sleep with you. My gosh.

...to be continued 

Eye Spy

Eye spied this in the Duane Reade.

Aisle 1 is the ethnic aka black people hair care products aisle. Lol. Lawd have mercy.

... to be continued

It wasn't a date, It was therapy!

Lol. So the title doesn't begin to explain this but here goes.

I am apart of the eHarmony community. My name is Dee and I am an online dater. There, I said it. I confess. Lol.

Anyway, this past Saturday I met one of my matches. He's a divorced father of two and came down here from Philly. Now its a Saturday, my usual lazy day and we're are supposed to be hanging for the day so I went casual: hair pulled up in a ponytail, gray skinny jeans, tee-shirt with a pullover hoodie, and my fuggs (cuz they ain't real uggs). I thought I looked presentable but apparently not because when I met him in Manhattan he had on dress clothes. So I tried to downplay it by cracking a joke about how our signals got crossed as far as our clothes and he said, "That's not my fault." Strike one against me.

So I take him to a diner in my neighborhood for lunch. We go in, sit down and I didn't realize what I was in for. I'm not a very talkative person especially if I don't know you but he felt I was too quiet. Maybe I was because the vibe he was giving me didn't lend itself to me opening up to him. One thing people might not know is that I like a man who can carry the conversation. It shows me what he knows, what his interests are and if they click with mine.

Now he could carry a conversation but it seemed like the conversation became a critique of me! He started by saying I wasn't truly being myself. That if I gave him 6 months he could bring the true me out and I would like my new self. So I'm thinking to myself, "What's wrong with who I am?" Apparently lots of thinks. Lol.

So, I'm too self-conscious. Now I will admit that I have body issues. But honestly what woman isn't a little self-conscious? So I dress to hide certain things. Its not like I wear a potato sack but for him I wasn't dressed sexy enough. I should have put my best foot forward to make him say, "Wow I want to come out here next weekend." (Don't you love when they assume they'll get a second date).

Ok, so I should have got my hair done, I should have shown more of my curves and I should have worn high heels. Hair? Ok maybe it wasn't salon perfect. I'll give him that. More of my curves? There is no way I can hide all my curves and I didn't try to either. But #1 I'm a B cup so its not like they are popping out and #2 as many times as u checked me out from the back u didn't see what I was working with? Then thats on you. And the heels, I'm walking all over creation with you and you want me to where heels? Thats just unrealistic. But it gets better.

Then he points out to me all the women I should have dressed like who dressed for their man, to give him that feeling of stimulation. *side eye* He said I need to be confident in what I have so that I will dress to show it off and be able to "shake what ya momma gave ya." Hmmmm. Yeah. Ok.

Then he points at my ears. "Whats all that?" Mind you I have 4 holes on each ear but I was only wearing three earrings at the time. "Why is this necessary?" Now I'm like bruh u trippin'. I'm not the most pierced girl on the block by any means and he had a problem. "I'll buy you some nice earring."  It was starting to sound to me like he wanted to make into his Stepford wife. No thank you.

All in all (according to him) I didn't put my best foot forward and first impressions are everything. Did he honestly think he was making a good first impression on me? Did he think him checking out other women was a good look or telling me how he told his waitresses at the restaurant he used to manage to dress sexier to get better tips was good first date conversation material?

Then for him to say, "This is me. I'm just saying whats on my heart." Check please. I couldn't get rid of this guy fast enough.

So we're on the bus ride back to the city and he tells me I'm wasting my potential at the job I'm at. Not that I asked. That I'm wasting my 20s because I'm too responsible. Who says that? But what really clinched it for me was this, "If I come back to NY to see you I will see if you have taken what I've said to heart because you will dress differently." Wow. When we got to the bus station I was so happy his bus was right there. God is so GOOD to me. That was the first genuine smile I cracked the whole date. Lol.

So for $9 (Metrocard fare) I got a therapy session I didn't even want. But hey, in this economy it was still a steal. It helped me realize that I like me and I am beautiful and while I am a work in progress being me is quite alright.

The comedy of the day was (after he tore me to shreds), "But I'm really glad to see you face to face."

LMAO. Bruh please. Needless to say there will be no more visits... to see me at least.

... to be continued

Say It Ain't So

Marvell tell me you didn't do it. :(

Ex-sportscaster Marvell Scott claims he's been framed after being charged with raping 14-year-old

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2010/02/23/2010-02-23_exwabc_sportscaster_marvell_scott_charged_with_raping_14yearold.html#ixzz0gnm6p

THk

... to be continued

Can I Have a Picture of You??? Part 2

My good friend (side eye) struck again. (See Can I Have a Picture of You???)

So he said,

"Was just checking to see if you had changed your mind."

NO

He says,

"Ok, my final offer...."

Drum-roll please.

"$12,000"

People, it is a recession and I am hurting just like the next person but....

Nope, Not for Sale. 

I did almost pass out though. $12Gs! This kid must be swimming in money if he willing to part with that much cash just to get a taste of my goodies. Lord have mercy.

Thats what the love of pu$$y will do to ya. SMH. Oh, and yes, once again...

This Fool Done Lost His Mind

... to be continued. 

Good Fat

So I'm talking on the phone with Skittles (see Young Bucks on the Come Up) the other day and he tells me you got fat.

Pause. Since when is telling a female that she's fat EVER a good things.

So he realized his mistake and tried to turn it around and say but its good fat. So I'm trying to figure out what the heck he's talking about. So he explains you know when I was gone for a while before and when I came back and saw you I was like wow, that wasn't like that before. That's ... wow.

It finally dawned on me what he was talking about. So I said why didn't you just say what you meant the first time? He said he didn't want to be disrespectful. And telling me I'm fat is more respectful then saying your booty got bigger? Really? C'mon. *smh*

Fellas if you think being blunt could come off as disrespectful be a little more creative. Cuz telling a lady she's fat but its good fat ain't it. We ladies have enough insecurity already so whenever we hear the word fat we don't ever associate that with something good.

... to be continued.

He's Married!

So here's the entire story of what happened last night.

I have been talking to the Personal Trainer for a little over a month even though it felt much longer. I first introduced him as my text buddy. Somehow our relationship progressed so much further than that. We would talk everyday. When I mean everyday, I'm talking waking up to texts, talking before we went to bed, sometimes talking all day on Saturdays. And we were talking about some really deep stuff about our feelings, our families. I thought I had a serious connection with him. Mind you I was trying to figure out how this could possibly work because we didn't live in the same state and he was joining the army but when I asked him about it he said that he saw us as getting closer and didn't foresee our relationship changing. He even invited me to come to Georgia to spend the weekend with him.

So I'm thinking its all good, we're on the same page right?

We'll in my post Georgia Peach I talked about going to visit him. My Aunt read my post and commented on it, telling me to send her his name so she can check him out for me. Thinking everything was everything I obliged. She messages me back saying to ask him if he lives in Conyers and knows this woman. He does live in Conyers so I texted him asking if he knew her. I was thinking it was maybe she's a sister or a cousin or maybe his mother but this is what he texts back.

"Yes. She's my wife."

I paused. Like as if you pressed paused on your dvd player. I paused put my phone down and let it sit for a minute. I was stunned to say the least. Was this a joke? So I texted back, "R u serious?"

So wait about 10 minutes because thats how long I waited for a response I never got before I texted, "Were u ever gonna tell me?" He finally texts back

"Yes, but I didn't know how after I didn't tell you the first time we talked. How did u find out?"

How did I find out?! Why the heck didn't you tell me you (insert a random slew of expletives here). The thing is if my Aunt hadn't asked me for his name and then asked me to ask him if he knew that woman I would have never known. I mean I was making plans to spend money to go see this fool, I shared thoughts with him I don't share with anybody because he opened himself up to me. All the things he told me about his life he didn't think that telling me he had a wife and 2 boys was important? WTF?!

So he called me later that night. By now this had sunk in and hearing him talk I began to cry. I hate to admit that I did. And I held it together during most of the call but as I began asking him questions and he kept saying I don't know I couldn't hold it. I was so hurt. Like how can you not know? At any point you could have said Dee, I gotta tell you something. But no, I had to find out indirectly from someone else who didn't even know she was outing you. At least he came out with it straight up but my goodness... he woulda let me come to Georgia and cheat on his wife with me. And I would never know. What if she had seen us together ir found his phone? *smh*

When I asked him if he woulda ever told me he was like uh, well yeah but ... BS.

Then when I asked how he thought us could work he was like, "I was still trying to figure that out."

But what really took the cake was that he was more upset that he hurt me. Me? Not that he could've hurt the other woman he made a vow to, not the fact that a family was almost destroyed. No, he was more upset that he hurt me and mad me cry.

I kept thinking, how do you explain something like that to your kids? He coulda got me got by his wife and I woulda been oblivious as to why. He knows I'm not that type of person. I'm not a husband stealer. And he's been with his wife for years. Their oldest child is 12!

Only God in his awesome power could have orchestrated this. My mom kept telling me he was hiding something and this was more than coincidence that my Aunt would ask me to ask him this woman's name and it would be his wife.

My heart hurts but I thank God that this didn't escalate beyond this point. I can still pick up the pieces and move on cuz I did nothing wrong. I can still hold my head high.

Then he had the nerve to say, "Can I text you later?"

WTF?!

Singleville have mercy on me please.

... to be continued.

Do I Look Like the Bank?

Why do men keep asking me for money? Do I look like I have dollar signs on my forehead? Do they think I am made of money? What the heck?

Some guy today asks me for money to help him get home. I barely know this guy. We talked once. ONCE. Does that automatically translate as "we peoples so I can hit you up for dough"? I tried to be nice telling him no because I know that it takes a lot for a man to even ask that but he kept on asking. He went from can I get $200 to can I get $50 and I'm like, No.

Of course once I said no he stopped talking to me. Now thats a surprise. (eye roll)

Fellas what is going on? I know its a recession but are y'all that strapped for cash that you will ask any random female for money?

Lord have mercy. *smh*

... to be continued.

Can I Have a Picture of You???

People ask this of me a lot. We'll guys anyway. When you're on a social networking site or you talk to folks on aim they ask. When they do I direct them to the places I have posted pics already. I'm not the type to snap a pic real fast like that and send it. Too much work. lol. So that's not a weird request.

However, today that question done went to the next level.

So I get an IM from someone I had talked to briefly before. Ok cool, we just talking. The convo starts out innocently enough before he hit me with this.

well basically like i said i think youre really hot, and i would love to get to see more pics of you...i know you dont know me yet so you really dont have any reason to do that for me, but since i have alot of money (i have proof that i do) i was thinking i could at least give you some $ as a thank you if u did it for me.

Whoa, where is this coming from? Do you think because you have a lot of more I'm suppose to jump at the chance to do this for you? But it gets better. He talks about how he wants sexy pics and that he has a lot of money. So I want to know how much he'd be willing to pay. (There goes my curiosity again.)

up to $5,000

My jaw hit the floor. Is he serious?! $5000. I thought about it for a hot second (that is a lot of $) and then the Lord rebuked me.

Your body is the temple of the Lord.

When that verse popped into my head I knew what my answer would be but it didn't end there. He then tells me it would be instantaneous payment, that he'd even pay me up front. When I still wouldn't budge he offered to give me even more money, telling me I could make more money with one click of my mouse then I would make in a month.

Why does this boy want to see my body so dag on bad? What is up? Why he being so thirsty? He's not a bad looking guy why do you need to buy a girl's body? This just pushed my resolve even more. So he tried to get me from another angle.

well i was hoping that since you wont consider making me any pics youd at least let me take you out to dinner

Ok, how do you go from I'll pay you for pics of your body (head optional) to "can I take you out sometime"? I'm giving him the serious side eye. And then:

would you be against me renting a hotel suite in manhattan for after dinner...thered be no obligation but if you were in the mood for it, id be very much honored if you would let me go down on you then (i really enjoy getting to give someone pleasure with something im really good at)

Why am I not surprised? Would he have paid me afterward? WTF?! No, No, and HECK NO! Some people would have accepted. But I'm not that person. For me my body is sacred, not to be shared and sold.

I am NOT for sale. And its official:

This Fool Done Lost His Mind

Whatever happened to getting to know a girl first? My gosh.

Men never cease to amaze me. If I didn't experience it I wouldn't believe it.

Singleville... *sigh*

... to be continued

Lick You For $100

So the other day I'm checking my social networking sites. Like everyone I have a few of them. I'm on particular one when I get a message thats titled, "Question Luv????". I'm used to getting all types of notes but this one threw me for a loop for sure. It read:

"WHAT IF I OFFER U $100 JUST TO TASTE U FOR 5 MINS.
IM A MASTER AT LICKING...NO SEX JUST A LICK..NO ONE WOULD KNOW..
CAN I BE UR SHUGGA DADDY ON THE LOW?"

WTF???? I've gotten some crazy propositions before; come to my house and I just met you, what are your sexual fantasies so we can act them out, I'm very experienced if we meet it'd be worth it and all this other ish. I've even gotten the I'd love to eat you out do you want me to? proposition but this?! He even rhymed it too like this was a poem. Fools be getting bold nowadays. Now my answer was obviously Hell NO! But I wanted to know if this fool was serious. (I need to watch this curiosity thing. We all know about curiosity and what happened to the cat. Lol.)

He was,

"SHHH NO ONE WILL KNOW..
ITS A SECRET FETISH OF MINE N ITS BEEN A WHILE"

Can you believe he told me to Shhhh? Like this was some secret I needed to guard with my life. When I read that I imagined someone putting they finger to they lips looking around nervously thinking someone might overhear. Lmao. And I love how he threw in "Its been a while." Did he think that would make me say yes?

I was tempted to say my was stuff was worth more than $100 and see if he would up his price but I just left it as it was and politely declined.

My thing is, last time I checked a woman who sold her wares was a pro and I ain't no pro. Where do men get the idea that this is appropriate and acceptable? I'm the type of girl that needs to know if you can carry a conversation, are intelligent, have goals, etc before I want to know if your tongue skills are on point. Who wants a dumb f*%!? (I mean that literally and figuratively.) Lol.

One word of advice my brothas: Stop embarrassing yourselves. Cuz,

This Fool Done Lost His Mind

As always men tickle me, but I still love them. Singleville amazes me.

... to be continued.

U & Air

Like the post title? You'll see why this is the reason I didn't go see Spike over the weekend.

So as I was telling ya'll Spike after a few weeks of no communication decided that he was gonna come back at me with a vengeance. He was sending me all these texts. Saying that he was sorry for not keeping up with me but he's definitely interested. Started calling me beautiful and sexy. Telling me that he's attracted to my aura. Say what? Where is all of this coming from?

So on Saturday he hits me with these long text messages talking about because I told him I'm a busy girl that he went into "causal mode" which is why he chose the first meeting that never happened (see Friday Night in the Village) instead of something more him and me. What does that mean? He goes on to say we should have connected on a more meaningful level a long time ago because our characters connect peacefully. And taking it one step further he was like,

"You should be over here at my cozy little table for two in front of the big screen, scented candle burning, some food and drinks laughing and enjoying the moment."

So I'm reading all of this quite amused. I'm like wow its like that? Now I had to go back through the texts because I just wanted to make sure that I had read the 1st two correctly. What was I looking for? This:

"There's been nothing between us but u and air"

Pause. So what he's saying is the reason why we weren't a we is because of me and air (yeah all the hot air inside ur head). WTF? Is he serious. Yes he was serious.

"if u and the air wouldn't have been in the way, by now you would have been bringing your bunny slippers, headscarf and toothbrush."

SMH. Absolutely not. What he doesn't know is the minute I realized we had different religious backgrounds he was no longer a prospect. I just wanted to see if this young girl could get this older man to see she's not that young afterall. And my thing is this. If you wanted me so bad why didn't you make a move. You want me to come see you? Why don't you come see me my dude. But it gets better.

So then he calls me after our little text exchange. Basically reiterating that my busyness kept us from being this great power couple. (serious eyeroll) Telling me that I was almost too good of a woman for him to date. (Not almost, AM) The kicker was when he told me early on he had tested me to see if I was being for real when I said that I was busy and that my priorities were work, church and family. Apparently I passed the test because now I was deemed worthy to be his woman. However, that statement got me thinking. If I hadn't passed the test basically what he was saying was that he would of used me as a plaything. And then what? Tossed me away when you were done? I don't even think so.

I'm all for confidence in a man. I love it. But cockiness? Can't stand it. Don't want any part of it. When you think so highly of yourself that you can tell a woman the only thing keeping ya'll apart is her and the air and then think she gonna hightail herself over to your place you love yourself enough to be ALONE.

Don't get me wrong I am busy. So I can see how a guy could get frustrated. But I always find time for the people that I love, care about and respect. I'll make the time for a guy I'm into but he's got to meet me half way otherwise I'll move on. (My schedule is tight so I'm not that impromtu type of girl. When I say I'm free catch me. Lol.) I'm not chasing no man. My Bible tells me, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing." He who finds.

But I fixed him. I gave him hope that I might do it. I never had the intention of traveling all the way to his place late at night on the train and I got church in the morning. Please. So Sunday he hoped I would come see him. Double no. It's the Lord's Day and I usually don't travel too far from home. So he called me . I let it go to voicemail. So he sent me a text on Monday saying he actually thought he was gonna see me Saturday. (Is that a touch of scarcasm I hear?)

I decided enough was enough. So I sent this in reply.

"Speaking of Saturday, I think you may be right about me and air . I've got a lot of things going on and I think our paths are going in different directions"

Guys, NEVER assume that we want you just cuz you want us. That's not how it works. Rule of thumb never, no matter how fine, think you are what we missing in our lives. Cuz as Spike found out I'm not missing him at all.

Singleville is a trip. I tell you. He sure gave me a laugh.

Lurking in the Shadows

I know I've been talking a lot about the MC lately but there are still others trying to make a play for this single girl so its time for some updates.

1. Mr. Smith - We are just friends. I've been checking in on him every now and again and I think we are in a good place.
2. Mr. Feel Good has disappeared. Literally. I don't know what happened. HE want from hitting me up everyday to nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. I hit him up twice to see whats up. No answer. *shrug* Oh well. I hope he's ok.
3. Honey - He almost lost his spot with me. Would call him. No answer. Then would call me mad late at night and ask me why was I up? (huh?) So finally I stopped hitting him up. Miracle of miracles. He's back. Wants to hang and talk. He's getting a little bit of a side eye but we'll see. He's dug himself a serious hole.
4. Spike has been trying to get back in my world something fierce recently. Like very recent. Sending me texts talking bout, he just checking in after not taking to me for weeks. Then today he laid it on real thick. Wants to see me real bad apparently. The question is, do I want to see him? We'll know by the end of tonight.

On another note, tell me why one day I was checking my voicemail and it seemd I got a collect call from some county jail talking about my limit is up and I have to setup an account to receive anymore. WTF? Who in the hell is calling me collect from jail? I was so taken aback by that I had to laugh. Whoever it was you done called the wrong girl. I can't help you.

Singleville, I knew that after last week's quietness this week was gonna be crazy but man this is NUTS. I'm told I think I love you and my lurkers are coming out of the shadows. *smh*
What is Singleville gonna throw at me next?

... to be continued.

First Impressions

First impressions are everything. When you first meet someone this is crucial. I know this to be true because I've been told that at first I come off mean and rude to people when they first meet me. I can see how this could be true. I'm a quiet and reserved person by nature. It takes me a while to warm up to people.

So I met up with one of my prospects this passed weekend. (See New Prospects) This the medical student. Another one bites the dust. Now I'll preface this by saying that I wasn't looking my sexiest. Dude wanted to see me real bad. Saturday nights are my youth nights at the church. I'm the leader, I don't got no one I'm trying to impress but Jesus and he says come as you are so I came in my leggings and a baggy shirt. I mean I didn't look tore up but if I could I woulda went home first to change. But he wanted to meet up real quick so thats what impatience gets you.

Anyway, dude is mad cocky and started off on the wrong foot from jump. I love confidence but cockiness irks my nerve. It makes me want to knock you down a peg. It was a weird situation cuz I was over someone's house with my fam at the time. Mom, dad and sibs; but I didn't really want him to meet my people cuz it had potential to be awkward. What if I didn't like him? What if I really did like him? So we decided to meet at the corner. (I know, the corner but he was on my home turf and my family knew where I was.)

So when he gets to where I am he calls and I go out to where he is. I walk to his car and I get in and he's like, "U just gonna roll up to my car like that?" Whoa, what? Now he was joking but that ish ain't funny. So, strike one. So we pull over not too far from where my fam is at and we get out of the car (he said it was mad hot inside the car, whatever) and are talking outside. The strikes just kept on coming.

Strike two: trying to tell me I don't know where I live. What?! I've lived in my neighborhood for 21 years. In my current house 10, I know where I live homie.

Strike three: clowning on my religion. Now I'm a tolerant person. I don't push my beliefs on anyone. If you ask me a question about my faith I'll answer it. But don't make fun of what I believe. We can agree to disagree. Thats cool. But I get hot off of ignorant foolishness. Some things just ain't funny bruha. I don't care what experience you had with church in the past please respect me. Its about mutual respect. I could said some choice things about you but I didn't out of respect. See. Respect. I don't believe in church and rituals. I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and yes there is a difference. (End of rant)

Dude's ride is tight, he was rocking all this bling, good looking but he was just mad ugly to me. His personality stunk. He was cocky and arogant. He seemed to be mad into himself cuz everytime I spoke he kept saying "huh?" like I wasn't standing right there and what I had to say was irrelevant. He was cursing and usually it doesn't really bother me but man it was grating on my nerves (expand your vocabulary please) cuz it was these random outbusts. After awhile I was just staring at him with a fake smile, saying "yeah uh huh", thinking, 'I need an excuse to bounce cuz I'm so through. I'm wasting my time.'

That excuse came when my dad called my phone. Perfect. I was like well that was my dad and I'm bout to leave so... yeah... bye.

Haven't called or texted him (he hasn't called or texted me either which isn't a bad thing).

First impressions people can make or break a date. Yeah maybe my appearance that night wasn't noteworthy that night (I've been hit on wearing far worse, trust me) but even though he looked fly he was grotesque because his personality was just so horrible.

I've never before now met someone so nice looking on the outside that was this ugly on the inside.

Guys being rude and into yourself is not a turn on. If the person you trying to impress is turned off by your personality than all that outside beauty is a waste. *smh*

On a lighter, I spoke to Mr. E today. Now there goes a man who made a good first impression. *sigh*

... to be continued

Lightning Strikes Twice

This post is titled in honor of the weather we having up here in NY. Stormy with lots of thunder and lightning. The question tonight is does lightning strike twice? Yes.

This post is about none other than epic fail. I really hope that this is the LAST time I write about him.

So he hit me up last night on IM and I ignored him. So then he hit me up on my phone. I ignored that too. So today he hit me up again. By now I'm fed up. (I've been ignoring him for almost a month now) I want this to end. So when he texts me today I text back,

"Wat is good with u? What do you want?"

Maybe I shouldn't of said it that way. Maybe I should have been nicer. But today was a long day. I was tired and I really didn't want him to talk to me. It is what it is.

So then he calls me... Twice. I'm really not trying to talk to him plus I was on my way home from work so I was underground. Had no service. So when I get out the train I have 2 missed calls, a voicemail and a text. I know they all from him. So I read the text.

This dude called me a phony b&*%h. Is he kidding?! He goes on to say that I need to act like an adult and that I was dishonest because I didn't tell him I wasn't interested. So I said (paraphasing) I didn't lie, I'm not phony, and how can you tell me to act like an adult after the mess of a first date we had where you totally disrespected me.

My man once again calls me dishonest, asks me when he disrespected me and then said, "Are you stupid". And he wonders how he disrespected me? Really? Maybe it was when you told me I don't pay attention or when you asked me "Can you walk?" or maybe its was when you told me "Thats the stupidest thing I've ever heard".

But it gets better (its always does). He continues to call me out my name, tells me I need to grow up, that I was dishonest, and that when he's not interested in someone he's "man" enough (I use that term loosely) to tell them. So I told him fine, I'm telling you now that I'm not interested.

He continues to curse at me and carry on.

Now I coulda said a lot of things. I choose to take the high road and I told him good luck with everything and I thanked him for teaching me a lot from this experience. Dude continued to call me dishonest so I had to set him straight. I told him lying requires speaking and since we weren't speaking how was I lying.

dis⋅hon⋅est

/dɪsˈɒnɪst/ Show Spelled Pronunciation –adjective

not honest; disposed to lie, cheat, or steal; not worthy of trust or belief: a dishonest person.

I don't feel I was being dishonest at any point. (Now I could be wrong, I doubt it, but its possible.) At no point did I show interest in him. I never initiated a call, I never intiated a text, or an IM. If he had at any point looked me in my face during our "date" he would have seen my disinterest. The last thing I said to him with an eye roll and a neck twist was, "Well ok, goodbye." Then to top it off, I've been ignoring you for the last 3 weeks (Thats almost a month).

I was done talking to this dude 3 weeks ago and I'm so done now. I told him as much too. But he continued to go on cursing and acting real ignorant. Finally I had enough so I blocked his number.

I never realized that ignoring someone was dishonest. Is it ideal? No but its neither dishonest nor phony as he kept telling me I was. The thing that's crazy is that guys do this all the time. They don't want to talk to you they ignore you. They don't explain why and to be honest if you don't want to talk to me thats fine. I move on, no hard feelings, it wasn't meant to be.

Dude acts like some scorned chick who wants you to know they're mad. You know what I'm talking about. That chick you take to a public place to break up with her cuz you know she gonna get loud and crazy. So the roles were reversed. I was the calm, "Whatever". And he was, "You every four letter word possible with misspellings and spewing hate."

Well, he is blocked on my phone, IM and hopefully (cross your fingers and toes) from my life.

I didn't think he could get any worse, I was so wrong. Lightning does strike twice. Is it wrong to wish for a bolt of lightning to strike him? Just wondering.

... to be continued.

The Saga Continues...

Why does my epic fail continue to contact me like we cool? I'm a little baffled. Did I miss something? Was he not on the same date I was on? Maybe he thinks pissed off, sarcastic girls are hot? Whatever the case he's still...a FAIL

On Saturday, he hits me up with "What up"
So I replied, "What do you want?"

Can you believe he had the nerve to be surprised. So he calls me. I don't answer. He leaves me a message to call him back. I will do no such thing. I text him I can't talk what do you want? No answer. If you think that was that you'd be wrong.

On Sunday, he IMs me asking about my weekend. I gave him curt, one word answers.

Today, he texts me "Good Afternoon Sexy". I'll say it before and I will say it again. The drugs that he smoke are superb. You got to be kidding me. I ignored that one totally.

Oooh foolishness is so sad.

...to be continued.

Epic Fail

So I'm back with the full story of the fool who pissed me off royally last night.

So grab some popcorn, get settled and buckle your seat belts for this one.

Ready... Set... Go

Ok so, this fool started himself off on the wrong foot from jump street. I'm trying to look out for him so he don't get lost coming to my house. So I call him to ask where he at. He tells me where so I ask him some questions cuz I'm just trying to make sure he going in the right direction. He tells me "I can follow directions if they're given to me correctly." WTH?! First, strike.

Ok, so he finally gets to my house. I'm outside waiting and what does he say to me. No, not hi or how you doing. "Open the gate." WTH?! So I say, "If I wasn't outside you woulda had to open the gate yourself. This fool tells me, "I would of called you and told you to come open the gate for me." WTH?! Strike 2. (I shoulda left him outside my gate)

Ok, so anyone that knows my family knows we don't have AC (Don't look at me cockeyed. Talk to my parents about that one). So I tell him that my house is really hot we should sit outside. But of course he wants to see for himself. Fine. The conclusion he came to? We should sit outside. (Duh, I told you that. *smdh*)

So we go back outside and sit on my stairs and he says, "Why didn't you tell me you had a hot house?" I tell him because it never came up in conversation. You didn't ask and I didn't think about it. I'm the type of person who gives info when asked and I don't really think about somethings until I'm in the situation. You know what he told me? "Wow, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." This is definitely strike 3 and this fool acted like that was a perfectly acceptable thing to say. Really? My man got so many strikes last night I lost count.

You think things couldn't get any worse right? WRONG. What happened next has to be the start of the worst first date conversation ever. First thing he says, "My baby moms is so stupid." (This will become a theme.) He proceeds to tell me he can't stand her, she mad stupid cuz she lets her new man hit on her and then goes back to him, and she's now pregnant by said new man. Then he proceeds to tell me why he don't go pick his son up from her house no more cuz she tried to call the cops on him so his parents pick him up. (I didn't even know he had a kid. Nice intro.)

Then he proceeds to open his phone and make a phone call. WTH? I can't believe this. And the convo went something like this,

Where my money?
I need my money.
I'm in Philadelphia at this party.
You know I can fly anywhere I want.
I'll just hop on a plane to New York tomorrow morning.
Alright, just have my money ready, ok. Bye.

Besides this being hella rude. (I'm sitting right there.) He was talking to his Aunt! *SMDH*

So he tells me my block is mad quiet and that where he live the prostitutes walk down Sutphin Blvd. That the women fight over dudes in the street or they fight they boyfriend in the street and when he hit her she be jumping on him. They just so stupid.

Then he decided to tell me that I'm not West Indian because I wasn't born in Aruba or Jamaica where my family is from. Negro, (I really want to say the N word but I so despise that word even though he was acting the very definition of the world) don't tell me I'm not that which I know I am. I grew up in a West Indian household and just cuz I was born here doesn't change who I am. Fall back. My pissed off meter is rising.

So we get on the topic of dance lessons. And this is when 3 of the STUPIDEST things I've ever heard a man say came out his mouth. Men don't go to dance class, don't go to the museum, and don't go to church. Now with him saying men I think he meant real men because he was trying to say he was one. HA! (He is definitely not the definition of a real man. Trust.) According to him only gay men take dance classes and go to museums and churches are only filled with women. WTH?! Now I'm giving dude the side eye.

Then he kept telling me I was mad young. Now I get this a lot but the way he saying it made me sound like I was ignorant, stupid, and simple. Most people are surprised at how old I am because of how mature I am so his condescending tone was definitely rubbing me the wrong way. My temperature is rising.

This fool stayed on his phone the whole time. So I started texting my sister about this jackass. I'm laughing and he didn't even know that it was about him. Idiot.

Then he tells me he has TB. WTF?! But wait, he's not contagious. (Can you feel the sarcasm) He had to take B6 and vitamin injection for 6 months. I just rolled my eyes cuz even if its dormant in you (apparently once you get TB even when treated it never leaves your bloodstream but its not harmful to you any longer) I could get that ish. Not that I was close enough to him for all that but still. But his reasoning for how he got it is beyond ridiculous.

So, he starts off by saying "I was out with this girl at 42nd Street and her Metrocard didn't work so when I swiped she came in behind me." Pause. Any true New Yorker knows that 42nd Street station is the busiest subway station in the city. Cops are all over that place. So it was no surprise to me what he said next. "So I got stopped by the police." (Duh) "So I got arrested because I had a warrant out for my arrest." What follows next is the dumbest reason to have a warrant out for your arrest. He continues.

"I had a warrant out for my arrest because a year ago I was on my friend's stoop and the cops saw us and stopped. I swear cops stop you just for being black. They are so stupid. So anyway they come up to us and say to my friend what's your name. My friend said Shawnee. (Shawnee a dude but the way) So the cops start clowning on his name. (while the cops were wrong I will admit I giggled at his name too.) So I get tight and I get up to leave. So I grab my bike and the cop is like you leaving and I'm like yeah and he like why and I'm like because you clowning my friend. You mad stupid cuz that's not funny. (Why would you tell a cop he stupid?) So the cop says oh for real and I like yeah and he gives me a summons for having my bike on the curb. So the minute he drove away I torn the summons up. But cuz I didn't pay it, that day with the turnstile instead of getting a summons I got arrested. So I spent one day in jail and that's where I think I got TB. I couldn't of got it from the outside"

You should have seen the look on my face. Is he serious? He can't be serious. But he's like "Why would I lie about having TB. I would lie and say I didn't have it."

But it gets better. According to him all women are stupid. (He really can't be trying to impress me.) And we're crazy too because this girl her met he asked her to drive him to the store and while they in the car she get a call and its a dude and apparently she's all like awe baby I miss you and stuff. So he got tight and said something and the guy on the phone said who that and homegirl said oh that's just my brother. That's good for his trifling self. I wouldn't want anyone to know I knew him either.

He said his father was stupid because his father won't let him live in the other house his father owns (hmmm, that's his prerogative) and because he wouldn't buy him a coat his senior year of high school. (Dude, you 26. Let it go.) So I ask him where does he live. Fool says, "Oh, wow. You don't pay attention". (This is not the first time he's said this to me.) WTF?! Now I'm really pissed. At no time did he tell me that he lived with his parents. So now my sarcasm is in full force. I'm so done with this Negro.

So I say, "Could you stop talking to me like I'm helpless and stupid?" He says, "What did I say to make you think I think your helpless?" I pause cuz I also said stupid in that sentence, right and I told him as much. He say, "I know why you said I'm talking to you like you stupid but I don't know where you got the helpless from." WOW!

Now he talking about I'm hungry you should cook me something. Aw Hell Naw Negro. You disrespect me and my house and want me to cook for you? I give him a look like "fool you tripping" and I tell him the only places open around my house are Burger King and McDonalds. "Naw I don't want that." Then I can't help you Negro.

So after he told me a story about some cruise he went on, he made yet another phone call, and ignored me looking for a place to eat I had had enough. So I said "You ready to go?" He said, "If you kicking me out I'm ready." WTF?! Are you kidding me? So I'm like lets go and he's like can you carry my bag for me? Hell NO douche bag you carried it here you can carry it home. I shoulda let him find his own way to the bus stop but I, still trying to be nice, walked him to the bus stop. So we walking and there were these women walking in front of us walking slow. I already had in my mind I was gonna go around them but before I even got the chance dude says, "Can you walk?" and grabs my arm to pull me around them. I kindly pulled my arm out his hand and walked around the other way. Idiot.

So we get to the bus stop and I explain to him about the buses. No "thank you" did I get. So I'm waiting with him and finally (after 2 seconds) I'm like "You good here cuz I don't want you to get lost or anything." I'm being polite cuz there's a lot of different buses that go through my neighborhood. He say, "How can I get lost at the bus stop?" That was the benediction. I kindly turned around and took myself home.

Now I know you probably think that it ended with that. You'd be wrong. Cuz I wake up the next morning to the following text.

I made it home safe if you care.

Negro. What in the Name of ALL that is Holy is wrong with you? And then he has the audacity to text me.

Good Morning.

WTF?! Did I miss something? You disrespect me, treat me like ish and bascially call me stupid to my face and expect me to still want to talk to you? What drugs do you smoke because they must be real good. If you ask me sir your stupid, your simple, immature, and crazy as hell.

What's crazy is that all this happened in the course of 2 hours. 2 hours! It took 26 years to grow that dumbass, bootlicker and 2 hours to make me want to snuff him out. Lord Jesus you were my strength because I was vexed. I hope he knows he was an...

Just like this security camera is capturing nothing, neither was/is his brain.

...to be continued.

Update: Just want to let you all know that if you're flying out of JFK if you can avoid Delta Terminals 2 & 3 I would advise it cuz that's where this fool works. If not send up a prayer to heaven because this dude is the one putting the fuel in the planes over there and with his lack of common sense you'll probably will need to anoint the plane with holy oil.

The Ex

He makes me sick.

I try to be the bigger person and be friends with exes. Thats just who I am. But I am only human and sometimes I see things that piss me off. (If you not sure of the foolishness he do see This Fool Has Got To be Kidding Me) Its crazy cuz when I see this particular ex I smile all sweet but secretly I'm thinking, "You are such a jackass and I wish I could tell you off." But I don't say it. I keep the peace. But the trash I peeped just now, I had to let go cuz I'm simmering ova here.

You should never remain friends with an ex if they are your friend on a social network. Delete them immediately because all the stupid ish they be doing pops up in your news feed. You look at they profile and your like who is this person? You be looking at they status like WTF?! We all know you ain't that holy and if you are now why wasn't you like that when I was dating you? Or you see some of the convos they have with people and you like oh hell naw.

Now usually I ignore them. I don't go to their profiles, only acknowledge them when they acknowledge me, and if I do pay attention to their status changes I get a little chuckle out of it and roll me eyes.

But today, in my news feed of course, a convo he having with a good friend of mine pops up. I don't know why I went to read the thread of this convo but I did and I'm like WTF?! It seemed a bit inappropriate to me. Now what he doesn't know is that all the dumb ish he did she knows. And we laugh about it, shake our head, and roll our eyes like, this fool.

Now I'm not trying to hate and I'm not mad because I want him back. (Been there done that, neva, eva, eva to return) I'm pissed for the lack of respect. (But why should I expect that from someone who didn't show me respect while we dated either?) Now I'm beginning to think that my girls were dead on the other night when they said he seemed to be all up under her. To do that in my face is a bish ass move and shows your true character.

I don't know why I expect him to do better than he does. He hasn't changed in six years why do I expect him to catch wisdom and respect all of a sudden? All I know is that every time I see him or wateva I leave feeling some kinda way (like murderous or at the very least want to rip his arm off his body and beat him with it).
The thing is when we broke up I coulda retaliated and f-ed him up. My sister was begging me to saying that if I didn't want to she would. Had people wanting to tell him off and ish and I kept that all back out of respect. Because I'm betta then all of that even though I would of thoroughly enjoyed it. (He still don't know that my momma itching to tell him about himself) But I'm about done wit this fool. I can be nice but for so long before I break on you.

One of these days all them things is gonna slip out my mouth and when it does I won't be sorry.

Breath girl breath. Had my blood pressure all elevated and stuff...oooooh

Pray for me

...to be continued