Ex-sportscaster Marvell Scott claims he's been framed after being charged with raping 14-year-old
THk... to be continued
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
I Want You To Sit On My Face
Seriously?! SMH. While I'm not knocking it. Thats not the first thing you say to someone.
Giving me the rundown of wat you can do with your tongue while intriguing does not a long-term commitment make in my train of thought.
But I guess that its all about people's expectations. To me I expect that when you're introducing yourself to me you might say,
Giving me the rundown of wat you can do with your tongue while intriguing does not a long-term commitment make in my train of thought.
But I guess that its all about people's expectations. To me I expect that when you're introducing yourself to me you might say,
"Hi my name is (insert name) and I saw you and wanted to say hello. I am (insert age) and I would love to get a cup of coffee or go out to dinner sometime."
Call me old-fashioned but thats my expectation.
Saying "oh, baby I wanna make you cum" and you don't even know my name yet, doesn't cut the mustard (with me anyway). Especially in this day and age it makes me wonder how many other people you done said this to and how many of them have taken you up on the offer.
So while I'm not saying that I wouldn't enjoy the ride I don't plan to be hoping on any random fool's face anytime soon.
But thanks for the offer.
... to be continued.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
6'8
That's how tall he is. Which is incredibly sexy. But.... I feel like he's too old for me.
Have you ever met someone you just clicked with? You had fun with them, comfortable, attracted to but...
If he was ten years younger or if I was ten years older this would be on and popping. Well sort of anyway. Lol. So now I'm just trying to establish a friendship which is hard when the other party wants more than that. And yes I've told me multiple times that we are just friends...Men don't like to listen to me it seems.
The even bigger issue however is my attraction to him. Coming out of a relationship your looking for comfort and he would be more than willing to give me the comfort I seek. But I'm not trying to use anyone as a rebound.
But my gosh he is tempting me. Some of the things he's told me he would do to me and some of the stories he's told me, I want to see if he's for real or just all talk. And if he's not just all talk I'ma be in trouble.
So I've been playing it cool. We just hang out on occasion. But the more time you spend with someone you like it seems you start to like them even more. He is so confident he's gonna get me to break. But I'm not ready to give in to anybody at this point.
I just don't think he'll be able to take me dodging his kisses that much longer. But we'll see. I don't plan for anything to happen and hopefully my resolve keeps.
... to be continued
Have you ever met someone you just clicked with? You had fun with them, comfortable, attracted to but...
If he was ten years younger or if I was ten years older this would be on and popping. Well sort of anyway. Lol. So now I'm just trying to establish a friendship which is hard when the other party wants more than that. And yes I've told me multiple times that we are just friends...Men don't like to listen to me it seems.
The even bigger issue however is my attraction to him. Coming out of a relationship your looking for comfort and he would be more than willing to give me the comfort I seek. But I'm not trying to use anyone as a rebound.
But my gosh he is tempting me. Some of the things he's told me he would do to me and some of the stories he's told me, I want to see if he's for real or just all talk. And if he's not just all talk I'ma be in trouble.
So I've been playing it cool. We just hang out on occasion. But the more time you spend with someone you like it seems you start to like them even more. He is so confident he's gonna get me to break. But I'm not ready to give in to anybody at this point.
I just don't think he'll be able to take me dodging his kisses that much longer. But we'll see. I don't plan for anything to happen and hopefully my resolve keeps.
... to be continued
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Pussy Credit
Is there such a thing as pussy credit?
One day, a little while back, me and Washington were talking and some how got on the topic of paying for sex. (We have some very interesting convos by the way.) His argument was that in some way, shape, or form men pay for sex. Whether its gas and tolls to go see the female or dinner and a movie, or even spending the day going to the museum when they could be watching a sports game, whatever it is, its some form of payment for some pussy. He said (paraphrasing) "if we didn't do those things you wouldn't give us any, now would ya?" Hmmm.
An example is on the King of Queens (does anybody watch that show?). Where Doug (the husband) after a stressful day of driving & accompanying his father-in-law Arthur while he runs his errands, gets a "very special thank you" from Carrie (his wife). After realizing the more time he spends with Arthur the more "thank yous" he gets from Carrie, Doug soon pretends to be very good friends with Arthur. So he was amassing pussy credit, right?
So the question is, do men only do all those nice things or pay for things just to amass pussy credit that they can cash in at a later date or possibly the end of the night? If they knew that they wouldn't get any regardless would they still do them? Do you agree that men some how end up "paying" for sex in some way?
Of course I disagreed with him but I want to know my readers thoughts.
... to be continued
One day, a little while back, me and Washington were talking and some how got on the topic of paying for sex. (We have some very interesting convos by the way.) His argument was that in some way, shape, or form men pay for sex. Whether its gas and tolls to go see the female or dinner and a movie, or even spending the day going to the museum when they could be watching a sports game, whatever it is, its some form of payment for some pussy. He said (paraphrasing) "if we didn't do those things you wouldn't give us any, now would ya?" Hmmm.
An example is on the King of Queens (does anybody watch that show?). Where Doug (the husband) after a stressful day of driving & accompanying his father-in-law Arthur while he runs his errands, gets a "very special thank you" from Carrie (his wife). After realizing the more time he spends with Arthur the more "thank yous" he gets from Carrie, Doug soon pretends to be very good friends with Arthur. So he was amassing pussy credit, right?
So the question is, do men only do all those nice things or pay for things just to amass pussy credit that they can cash in at a later date or possibly the end of the night? If they knew that they wouldn't get any regardless would they still do them? Do you agree that men some how end up "paying" for sex in some way?
Of course I disagreed with him but I want to know my readers thoughts.
... to be continued
Monday, September 28, 2009
Trip Postponed
So, I'm not going to Georgia. *tear* The Personal Trainer asked me if we could reschedule. He explained why and I understood. He wants when we meet to be perfect. Isn't that sweet?
But I still want to get away so I thought maybe I'll go visit my godmommy that weekend in Maryland. She has been asking me to come down for a while so why not? Its been a while since my last visit so I'm over due and if all works out I'll be in Maryland.
While I'm disappointed in my change of plans my new itinerary is considerably cheaper than the previous one so I can't be too upset about that. Going to GA was gonna cost me a grip. Lol. Especially cuz I'm planning to go to Missouri for a conference in December so my cash flow is tight.
But all things considered its a bit of a blessing that he asked to postpone cuz like I've said before he is a whole heap of temptation.
Lets put it this way, I love chocolate. And even though I know that I shouldn't when you place in front of me some sweet, delicious chocolate you can't expect me not to eat some. It just ain't happening, especially if I haven't had a piece in a loooooooooong time. lol.
Lord, help me.
... to be continued
But I still want to get away so I thought maybe I'll go visit my godmommy that weekend in Maryland. She has been asking me to come down for a while so why not? Its been a while since my last visit so I'm over due and if all works out I'll be in Maryland.
While I'm disappointed in my change of plans my new itinerary is considerably cheaper than the previous one so I can't be too upset about that. Going to GA was gonna cost me a grip. Lol. Especially cuz I'm planning to go to Missouri for a conference in December so my cash flow is tight.
But all things considered its a bit of a blessing that he asked to postpone cuz like I've said before he is a whole heap of temptation.
Lets put it this way, I love chocolate. And even though I know that I shouldn't when you place in front of me some sweet, delicious chocolate you can't expect me not to eat some. It just ain't happening, especially if I haven't had a piece in a loooooooooong time. lol.
Lord, help me.
... to be continued
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Lick You For $100
So the other day I'm checking my social networking sites. Like everyone I have a few of them. I'm on particular one when I get a message thats titled, "Question Luv????". I'm used to getting all types of notes but this one threw me for a loop for sure. It read:
WTF???? I've gotten some crazy propositions before; come to my house and I just met you, what are your sexual fantasies so we can act them out, I'm very experienced if we meet it'd be worth it and all this other ish. I've even gotten the I'd love to eat you out do you want me to? proposition but this?! He even rhymed it too like this was a poem. Fools be getting bold nowadays. Now my answer was obviously Hell NO! But I wanted to know if this fool was serious. (I need to watch this curiosity thing. We all know about curiosity and what happened to the cat. Lol.)
He was,
Can you believe he told me to Shhhh? Like this was some secret I needed to guard with my life. When I read that I imagined someone putting they finger to they lips looking around nervously thinking someone might overhear. Lmao. And I love how he threw in "Its been a while." Did he think that would make me say yes?
I was tempted to say my was stuff was worth more than $100 and see if he would up his price but I just left it as it was and politely declined.
My thing is, last time I checked a woman who sold her wares was a pro and I ain't no pro. Where do men get the idea that this is appropriate and acceptable? I'm the type of girl that needs to know if you can carry a conversation, are intelligent, have goals, etc before I want to know if your tongue skills are on point. Who wants a dumb f*%!? (I mean that literally and figuratively.) Lol.
One word of advice my brothas: Stop embarrassing yourselves. Cuz,
As always men tickle me, but I still love them. Singleville amazes me.
... to be continued.
"WHAT IF I OFFER U $100 JUST TO TASTE U FOR 5 MINS.
IM A MASTER AT LICKING...NO SEX JUST A LICK..NO ONE WOULD KNOW..
CAN I BE UR SHUGGA DADDY ON THE LOW?"
IM A MASTER AT LICKING...NO SEX JUST A LICK..NO ONE WOULD KNOW..
CAN I BE UR SHUGGA DADDY ON THE LOW?"
WTF???? I've gotten some crazy propositions before; come to my house and I just met you, what are your sexual fantasies so we can act them out, I'm very experienced if we meet it'd be worth it and all this other ish. I've even gotten the I'd love to eat you out do you want me to? proposition but this?! He even rhymed it too like this was a poem. Fools be getting bold nowadays. Now my answer was obviously Hell NO! But I wanted to know if this fool was serious. (I need to watch this curiosity thing. We all know about curiosity and what happened to the cat. Lol.)
He was,
"SHHH NO ONE WILL KNOW..
ITS A SECRET FETISH OF MINE N ITS BEEN A WHILE"
ITS A SECRET FETISH OF MINE N ITS BEEN A WHILE"
Can you believe he told me to Shhhh? Like this was some secret I needed to guard with my life. When I read that I imagined someone putting they finger to they lips looking around nervously thinking someone might overhear. Lmao. And I love how he threw in "Its been a while." Did he think that would make me say yes?
I was tempted to say my was stuff was worth more than $100 and see if he would up his price but I just left it as it was and politely declined.
My thing is, last time I checked a woman who sold her wares was a pro and I ain't no pro. Where do men get the idea that this is appropriate and acceptable? I'm the type of girl that needs to know if you can carry a conversation, are intelligent, have goals, etc before I want to know if your tongue skills are on point. Who wants a dumb f*%!? (I mean that literally and figuratively.) Lol.
One word of advice my brothas: Stop embarrassing yourselves. Cuz,
This Fool Done Lost His Mind
As always men tickle me, but I still love them. Singleville amazes me.
... to be continued.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Why do I Abstain?
That is a good question because even I wonder why I do sometimes. (And then I turn on the news and I remember why. Lol) And men seem to be intrigued by it, mostly because they want to see if they can get me to change my mind. (Fellas only I can change my mind)
But other than the promise I made to God for purity (which I fail at miserably a lot of times, you should see some of my fantasies) I have two main reasons why I abstain.
1) I believe that sex is truly for marriage. People give me the side eye when I say this but its true. I could bust out some Bible verses on you about this matter but instead I give it to you this way. When you unite together during sex your bodies, your souls join together. I don't want to join with too many people in that way because along with the joining come memories and comparisons. As a married couple you become one (not literally but spiritually) and that's a connection that you share with no other person. When I join with my husband the first time I want it to be just me and him. Not me and him and his ex-girlfriend and my ex-boyfriend and my ex's ex's ex-boyfriend pookie.
2) I'll become addicted. Most people think that because I abstain I don't think about sex. That couldn't be the furthest thing from the truth. I think that I think about sex more than most woman. I'm a freak (point blank) and I know that if I do it just once I'll be like an addict looking for a fix. Real talk. People think that I'm innocent and in some ways I am but if they only knew... Mr. Smith even said to me, "Once you get some you'd probably be addicted." He never spoke truer words. Because of this and knowing myself I need to keep myself locked down. If I'm unleashed...watch out. Lol.
So these are the reasons I abstain. Love it or hate it. And my husband will be a very luck man. *wink*
...to be continued.
????
Today seems to be the day of question marks. 
I'm in this mood. Which is hard to explain other than unfulfilled.
I have all of these guys that I'm talking to and yet feel in no way that I am any closer to my goal of getting to marrywood. Yes I know, I should relish being single. Blah, blah, blah. I've heard it all and that's not the point.
My goal is meet the man that I'm supposed to marry, that person who will fulfill me. I'm not talking about giving me purpose. I'm talking about someone who can give me all the thing I can't give myself. Companionship. Yes friends can give you this but at the end of the day they ain't lying next to you holding you and if they are what type of friends you got? (raising my eyebrow) Children. Yes I can adopt or get a sperm donor but why is that necessary? I'm still young and half the fun of having kids is making them ;). Sex. I don't think I need to explain this one but in case I do, I'm not trying to service myself so...yeah. Finally, love. All consuming, passionate, I'll do anything for you, can't get enough of you, you will still be hot to me 50 years from now love.
While all the guys I'm talking to are nice and they all give me some of the things I'm looking for its not the complete package and I always end up with the feeling "somthing's missing". And almost all of them lack my most important requirement. A relationship with Christ. *sigh*
So its like I'm back to square one. And even more depressing, on my way home from work this lady gets on the bus with her rolly backpack and her groceries. She had a nice body, tall like a supermodel, long hair, all the things society says you should have. And she was single. And I thought, that could be me in 10 to 15 years. On the bus struggling with my bags looking just sad with a big floppy hat on. I wanted to cry. That is my greatest fear I think. One of my mom's friends who I love dearly is an amazing woman but she's single too and still saying well maybe one day... I can't be like that. I'd go hoping mad. Justing sitting there waiting for my prince to come. I can't do this roller coaster ride for no 10 years I bearly can handle it now.
And the statistics aren't any better the ratio of black women to black men is like 8 to 1 (i'm pretty sure but don't quote me) which is like insane. And most men nowadays (notice I said most not all) want to hit it and move on. So the ratio is 8 to 1 where most just want sex and I'm celibate. Plus I'm trying to find the one that loves God, wants a commitment and has a job. Do you now understand my frustration?
The Lord knows all things. Including how long I'll be here in Singleville. And if I'm here much longer I might do something I ain't supposed to do. (I think I've already begun me dissent.) Lord help me.
Singleville makes a woman crazy especially when she is having less than holy thoughts.
...to be continued.
I'm in this mood. Which is hard to explain other than unfulfilled.
I have all of these guys that I'm talking to and yet feel in no way that I am any closer to my goal of getting to marrywood. Yes I know, I should relish being single. Blah, blah, blah. I've heard it all and that's not the point.
My goal is meet the man that I'm supposed to marry, that person who will fulfill me. I'm not talking about giving me purpose. I'm talking about someone who can give me all the thing I can't give myself. Companionship. Yes friends can give you this but at the end of the day they ain't lying next to you holding you and if they are what type of friends you got? (raising my eyebrow) Children. Yes I can adopt or get a sperm donor but why is that necessary? I'm still young and half the fun of having kids is making them ;). Sex. I don't think I need to explain this one but in case I do, I'm not trying to service myself so...yeah. Finally, love. All consuming, passionate, I'll do anything for you, can't get enough of you, you will still be hot to me 50 years from now love.
While all the guys I'm talking to are nice and they all give me some of the things I'm looking for its not the complete package and I always end up with the feeling "somthing's missing". And almost all of them lack my most important requirement. A relationship with Christ. *sigh*
So its like I'm back to square one. And even more depressing, on my way home from work this lady gets on the bus with her rolly backpack and her groceries. She had a nice body, tall like a supermodel, long hair, all the things society says you should have. And she was single. And I thought, that could be me in 10 to 15 years. On the bus struggling with my bags looking just sad with a big floppy hat on. I wanted to cry. That is my greatest fear I think. One of my mom's friends who I love dearly is an amazing woman but she's single too and still saying well maybe one day... I can't be like that. I'd go hoping mad. Justing sitting there waiting for my prince to come. I can't do this roller coaster ride for no 10 years I bearly can handle it now.
And the statistics aren't any better the ratio of black women to black men is like 8 to 1 (i'm pretty sure but don't quote me) which is like insane. And most men nowadays (notice I said most not all) want to hit it and move on. So the ratio is 8 to 1 where most just want sex and I'm celibate. Plus I'm trying to find the one that loves God, wants a commitment and has a job. Do you now understand my frustration?
The Lord knows all things. Including how long I'll be here in Singleville. And if I'm here much longer I might do something I ain't supposed to do. (I think I've already begun me dissent.) Lord help me.
Singleville makes a woman crazy especially when she is having less than holy thoughts.
...to be continued.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Kissing
I was gone for a minute... now I'm back. I'll tell you about the new developments but first I must talk about this topic. Kissing.
Many
people think that kissing is overrated. To those people I say, you just ain't doing it right. I'm a very passionate kisser (so I've been told on more than one occasion by more than one person), which gets me into all kinds of trouble. I equate kissing to how you make love (since I don't actually have sex) because its a good indicator of your intensity; whether you take charge, like to take things slow or fast, are aggressive or like to mix it up. And if you can't get me hot with a kiss... well
I've been fortunate enough to have participated in some really hot and amazing lip locks. Some really playful, others that we're so intense I almost forgot I abstain, and still others that felt like he would eat me if he could. All of my kissing experiences have been good...till now.
Yesterday, I was out on a date with a new guy (we'll call him Mr. Smith). The date was progressing nicely we played a nice icebreaker game, good convo, and all that. Well, he offers to give me a massage. I'm down with that. It started out tame but somehow situations always get escalated when it comes to me and men. Well, he rubs oil on my back and legs (I have clothes on) and it's feeling nice and then he's tongue is on my back (I'm really feeling this) and he licks me from the top of my shoulders to the top of my butt. Then on my legs. But its all in good fun no one is stripping or anything.
Then he starts to get intense. He kissing my neck like he's starving (which is not necessarily a bad thing cuz that is my spot) and he's is really turned on (I'm thinking ok, I think he's enjoying this more than me but thats not necessarily a bad thing either). Before I knew it he flipped me over and we began kissing. Now it wasn't terrible but it was so fast. He was pumping his tongue in and out of my mouth, it was like we were in a race. At one point I just didn't know what to do so I was kinda just staring at the ceiling. I felt like that scene in Love and Basketball (if you haven't seen this movie you should) when Monica & Q are making out on the grass and his tongue is moving and he's devouring her mouth and she's just tryna keep up. I wasn't bored just flabbergasted.
I'm a person who likes to take it slow and build up the intensity but his intensity was already up and I couldn't reign it in. Which made me wonder, "If we were having sex would this be how it would go? Him pumping mad hard and fast and me staring at the ceiling flabbergasted?" :/
He is very attractive, he's in good shape, and he has a lot of the qualities I find sexy in a guy personality wise but... kissing is important to me. So he has one more (maybe 2) date(s) to make up for that kissing experience. Maybe he was really excited (he told me the thing that first attracted him to me was my lips so maybe the anticipation of kissing them sent him over the edge). I don't know.
But, I'll keep you posted.
Many
people think that kissing is overrated. To those people I say, you just ain't doing it right. I'm a very passionate kisser (so I've been told on more than one occasion by more than one person), which gets me into all kinds of trouble. I equate kissing to how you make love (since I don't actually have sex) because its a good indicator of your intensity; whether you take charge, like to take things slow or fast, are aggressive or like to mix it up. And if you can't get me hot with a kiss... wellI've been fortunate enough to have participated in some really hot and amazing lip locks. Some really playful, others that we're so intense I almost forgot I abstain, and still others that felt like he would eat me if he could. All of my kissing experiences have been good...till now.
Yesterday, I was out on a date with a new guy (we'll call him Mr. Smith). The date was progressing nicely we played a nice icebreaker game, good convo, and all that. Well, he offers to give me a massage. I'm down with that. It started out tame but somehow situations always get escalated when it comes to me and men. Well, he rubs oil on my back and legs (I have clothes on) and it's feeling nice and then he's tongue is on my back (I'm really feeling this) and he licks me from the top of my shoulders to the top of my butt. Then on my legs. But its all in good fun no one is stripping or anything.
Then he starts to get intense. He kissing my neck like he's starving (which is not necessarily a bad thing cuz that is my spot) and he's is really turned on (I'm thinking ok, I think he's enjoying this more than me but thats not necessarily a bad thing either). Before I knew it he flipped me over and we began kissing. Now it wasn't terrible but it was so fast. He was pumping his tongue in and out of my mouth, it was like we were in a race. At one point I just didn't know what to do so I was kinda just staring at the ceiling. I felt like that scene in Love and Basketball (if you haven't seen this movie you should) when Monica & Q are making out on the grass and his tongue is moving and he's devouring her mouth and she's just tryna keep up. I wasn't bored just flabbergasted.
I'm a person who likes to take it slow and build up the intensity but his intensity was already up and I couldn't reign it in. Which made me wonder, "If we were having sex would this be how it would go? Him pumping mad hard and fast and me staring at the ceiling flabbergasted?" :/
He is very attractive, he's in good shape, and he has a lot of the qualities I find sexy in a guy personality wise but... kissing is important to me. So he has one more (maybe 2) date(s) to make up for that kissing experience. Maybe he was really excited (he told me the thing that first attracted him to me was my lips so maybe the anticipation of kissing them sent him over the edge). I don't know.
But, I'll keep you posted.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Playing With Fire
Yesterday I turned up the heat with Trig. Normally I'm not this crazy but Mr. Hyde reared her quite pretty (since its mine, lol) head again. Now I'm only talking about im-ing on aim. (If I was taking about a face to face encounter the title of this post would be On Fire). But I let myself reveal a side of myself that most people don't get to see. (Who am I kidding. Almost no one sees it unless...you've kissed me before.)
I'm playing with fire because I know he's a very sexually person and though I am too (not to the degree he is though) I know that I made a promise to abstain. So why did I engage in the freaky talk? Because as much as I hate to admit it his sexuality intrigues me. I find myself wondering what has he done, what is he willing to do, and it goes on and on and...you get the picture.
My ultimate goal is marriage (I ain't down for flings). Although I'm a Christian and I wish my future husband to be one too, lets make no mistake I don't want him to be a virgin. I want to be with a man who knows what he's doing and I'll take my ques from him and will be able to freely express myself without feeling like I'm doing something inappropriate.
For me experience is sexy which probably explains my fascination with Trig and Mr. Hyde's ability to come out so easily with him. I have no fear of being judged by him. Warning: This can lead you down the path of sleeping with this man. Yes, this I know.
Everything in my head is telling me to be on my guard. My body is yearning for some action. And my heart, is still wrapped up in Mr. E for reasons truly unknown to me.
I know that fire can burn and cause damage but I find myself fantasizing about that fire a lot more than I should.
This weekend I enter the danger zone as I have a planned date with him. I'm still debating whether i should cancel. (He most def will be pissed if I do.)
The question is: How do I come out of the fiery pit unscathed?
Only if Jesus is in the midst. (A Bible story just hit me)
Pray for me cuz its summer time, I'm all hot and bothered, and if this fire don't get extinguished soon it's gonna turn into a full blown inferno.
...to be continued.
I'm playing with fire because I know he's a very sexually person and though I am too (not to the degree he is though) I know that I made a promise to abstain. So why did I engage in the freaky talk? Because as much as I hate to admit it his sexuality intrigues me. I find myself wondering what has he done, what is he willing to do, and it goes on and on and...you get the picture.
My ultimate goal is marriage (I ain't down for flings). Although I'm a Christian and I wish my future husband to be one too, lets make no mistake I don't want him to be a virgin. I want to be with a man who knows what he's doing and I'll take my ques from him and will be able to freely express myself without feeling like I'm doing something inappropriate.
For me experience is sexy which probably explains my fascination with Trig and Mr. Hyde's ability to come out so easily with him. I have no fear of being judged by him. Warning: This can lead you down the path of sleeping with this man. Yes, this I know.
Everything in my head is telling me to be on my guard. My body is yearning for some action. And my heart, is still wrapped up in Mr. E for reasons truly unknown to me.
I know that fire can burn and cause damage but I find myself fantasizing about that fire a lot more than I should.
This weekend I enter the danger zone as I have a planned date with him. I'm still debating whether i should cancel. (He most def will be pissed if I do.)
The question is: How do I come out of the fiery pit unscathed?
Only if Jesus is in the midst. (A Bible story just hit me)
Pray for me cuz its summer time, I'm all hot and bothered, and if this fire don't get extinguished soon it's gonna turn into a full blown inferno.
...to be continued.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
All Hot and Bothered
Lately it seems I'm horny all the time. (Can you even say that in a blog?) I can't turn it off and its for no good reason. If I was married this would be a non issue. I would get my husband to handle business. (Disclaimer: I'm not advocating getting married just to have sex.) But I'm not married and I abstain so I'm suffering. What bad is that I know of some one who could set me straight no string attached. (He shall remain nameless.) But then I would be going against my beliefs. But its not getting better. I am so stressed out with everything in my life and this is only adding to it. I think I might go insane.
I find myself praying for willpower even as my mind wanders to some naughty place.
As a single Christian how can I hold myself to the standards that I've set and that God has set and still survive in the dating jungle? How do you not allow your urges to control the type of man you let into your world? (unconsciously sometimes we choose the guy who will give us immediate gratification and not the one that will give us lasting gratification)
This single girl is struggling but I have to keep trusting that God will send me my prince charming. Hopefully soon, I mean I won't die but when God does finally present this man to me I don't want to scare him with my ferocious appetite. Lol.
All a girl is asking for is some peace. Is that so hard?
...to be continued
I find myself praying for willpower even as my mind wanders to some naughty place.
As a single Christian how can I hold myself to the standards that I've set and that God has set and still survive in the dating jungle? How do you not allow your urges to control the type of man you let into your world? (unconsciously sometimes we choose the guy who will give us immediate gratification and not the one that will give us lasting gratification)
This single girl is struggling but I have to keep trusting that God will send me my prince charming. Hopefully soon, I mean I won't die but when God does finally present this man to me I don't want to scare him with my ferocious appetite. Lol.
All a girl is asking for is some peace. Is that so hard?
...to be continued
Friday, May 22, 2009
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Do we all know the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Same guy two very different personalities. Good and Evil. I'm realizing that this rages in all of us. Today as I was reflecting I realized that this is true of me and my relationships.
I seem to categorize men into those I would sleep with, those I want to be with and friends. Do we see a problem here? For those who know me you'd know that I practice abstinence. So you could see how the first category is a dangerous category.
That is where Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde comes in. For those I want to be in a relationship with and who are friends I am Dr. Jekyll. I am respectable, honest, wholesome. Most of them are afraid to talk suggestively in my presence for fear of making my ears bleed. And curse? No way. Because with them I set a standard. However when we come to the category of those I would sleep with I'm Mr. Hyde. I'm like this totally wild, out of control person. I do things I wouldn't normally do, I say things I didn't even know were in my vocabulary and I can be a borderline ho. (It pains me to have to recognize this about myself). Bottom line: I become a player.
I was forced to acknowledge this this week. This passed Monday I went to see Trig. (I mentioned him in a past blog.) We went out and I knew almost instantly he wasn't relationship material. But I was incredibly attracted to him. Danger! I felt Mr. Hyde looking to make an appearance. And he did or should I say she did.
I became calculating. I turned my flirting up, started touching him a lot more, trying to measure how far I could go without going too far. Then I went in for the kill. I didn't sleep with him but I know that the more I see him the more likely that it will occur.
The problem is the war that these two figures rage within me. Mr. Hyde feels good in the moment but causes way too much damage after the fact. But I fight the fact that she desires to make more and more appearances as of late.
I am Dr. Jekyll. I am respectable and wholesome and good but how do I temper the Mr. Hyde that longs to emerge and run rampant?
I don't know what to do...
I seem to categorize men into those I would sleep with, those I want to be with and friends. Do we see a problem here? For those who know me you'd know that I practice abstinence. So you could see how the first category is a dangerous category.
That is where Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde comes in. For those I want to be in a relationship with and who are friends I am Dr. Jekyll. I am respectable, honest, wholesome. Most of them are afraid to talk suggestively in my presence for fear of making my ears bleed. And curse? No way. Because with them I set a standard. However when we come to the category of those I would sleep with I'm Mr. Hyde. I'm like this totally wild, out of control person. I do things I wouldn't normally do, I say things I didn't even know were in my vocabulary and I can be a borderline ho. (It pains me to have to recognize this about myself). Bottom line: I become a player.
I was forced to acknowledge this this week. This passed Monday I went to see Trig. (I mentioned him in a past blog.) We went out and I knew almost instantly he wasn't relationship material. But I was incredibly attracted to him. Danger! I felt Mr. Hyde looking to make an appearance. And he did or should I say she did.
I became calculating. I turned my flirting up, started touching him a lot more, trying to measure how far I could go without going too far. Then I went in for the kill. I didn't sleep with him but I know that the more I see him the more likely that it will occur.
The problem is the war that these two figures rage within me. Mr. Hyde feels good in the moment but causes way too much damage after the fact. But I fight the fact that she desires to make more and more appearances as of late.
I am Dr. Jekyll. I am respectable and wholesome and good but how do I temper the Mr. Hyde that longs to emerge and run rampant?
I don't know what to do...
