So I am a single girl once again. Yes I know, ya'll are probably like, "What happened?" The short answer, The Elephant among other things. When I looked out into my future could I see myself with Washington for the next 50 years? Could I see myself having kids with him? Living the life I desire with him?
I couldn't. While he met some of my needs he couldn't fulfill the one most important to me. Who wants to wake up one day look over and say, "What the hell was I thinking?"
Is he a bad guy? No, he's good guy he's just not the right guy for me. Is the door closed? No because I don't know what the Lord has in store and maybe something will change but right now I know that the way things were I couldn't handle anymore.
I'm used to compromising myself for the happiness of others but this time I chose MY happiness and sanity. I heard at a conference I attended that the way that you share joy and happiness with others is if you have joy and happiness inside of you and if you surround urself with those who will pour that back into you. Sounds smart to me.
Doesn't mean I don't miss him. *sighs* And doesn't mean he's taking this well either.
My search continues....
... to be continued
Showing posts with label boyfriend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boyfriend. Show all posts
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Being A Couple
I find myself in an interesting place. The longest couple I've ever been apart of is with my sister. Lol. For most of our lives we were know as "the girls". We've had our ups and downs but in the end we always come back to each other. Thats the nature of our bond.
Aren't we cute ;)
But now I find I'm in a different kind of couple. The male/female dynamic is interesting because my honey and I, we just don't think alike. Its a growing experience for me because things that I think are inappropriate Washington doesn't see why its a big deal. I get upset so easily and I have to realize that he doesn't think like me.
He frustrates me at times and I want to throw up my hands and walk away but u can't do that in a relationship. You have to try to work things out. You have to try and look at things from the others point of view. Relationships are work. Lol. (I know thats like a big, DUH!)
My sister and I are so in-tune to each other that we know when something is not right or wat the other wants to say before they say it. It doesn't even seem like work. But we have had our ups and downs. Plus, our sister relationship has taken years to develop. Its not really fair to compare the two is it?
I'm finding that I need to be more understanding, more patient, and give Washington a chance because....
He really cares. He cares about my feelings, is becoming acquainted with my moods, and he's trying and I need to try just as hard. No relationship is perfect. Its about give and take. Learning and understanding your partner. Growing with them. Being patient, faithful, and loving. He's willing to make things better because he wants to make me happy. And thats important. I have to return that effort otherwise wats the point of being a couple?
So, I need to give my relationship a chance to grow just like I worked hard to grow my relationship with my sister.
It makes me wonder wat is holding me back from that?
.... to be continued
Aren't we cute ;)But now I find I'm in a different kind of couple. The male/female dynamic is interesting because my honey and I, we just don't think alike. Its a growing experience for me because things that I think are inappropriate Washington doesn't see why its a big deal. I get upset so easily and I have to realize that he doesn't think like me.
He frustrates me at times and I want to throw up my hands and walk away but u can't do that in a relationship. You have to try to work things out. You have to try and look at things from the others point of view. Relationships are work. Lol. (I know thats like a big, DUH!)
My sister and I are so in-tune to each other that we know when something is not right or wat the other wants to say before they say it. It doesn't even seem like work. But we have had our ups and downs. Plus, our sister relationship has taken years to develop. Its not really fair to compare the two is it?
I'm finding that I need to be more understanding, more patient, and give Washington a chance because....
He really cares. He cares about my feelings, is becoming acquainted with my moods, and he's trying and I need to try just as hard. No relationship is perfect. Its about give and take. Learning and understanding your partner. Growing with them. Being patient, faithful, and loving. He's willing to make things better because he wants to make me happy. And thats important. I have to return that effort otherwise wats the point of being a couple?
So, I need to give my relationship a chance to grow just like I worked hard to grow my relationship with my sister.
It makes me wonder wat is holding me back from that?
.... to be continued
Monday, December 7, 2009
Questioning
"I think you would neglect your family"
This is what my boyfriend said to me this morning because when he asked me what my top 5 priorities were I included church in the list. We spent an hour going back an forth over this and it just pissed me off even more. I did not need to hear that this morning cuz it jacked up my whole day.
It got me thinking to myself, "Then why is he with me?" If you think that I could neglect my own children why would you be with me? Then I thought, if you think that low of me why am I with you? And why is church the thing that would make me be neglectful of my family? I'm involved in my church but it is one of the many things I do. Why would that be the one thing that I would choose over my family?
Am I overeacting or justified in my hurt? Cuz, whether he realized or not he just gave me another reason to seriously question whether him and I should be a we.
Lord help me.
... to be continued.
Monday, November 16, 2009
They Liked me, They really liked me : )
Over the weekend I met Washington's family and.... *drum roll please*
They LIKED me. Hallelujah. *heavenly angels singing*
That was a huge weight off my shoulders. I was nervous for absolutely no reason. They were so nice and chill. I was totally comfortable with them. They laughed and cracked jokes. It reminded me of my family a little bit. Washington told me to just be myself and thats what I did.
I decided on a picture frame and a card for his mom... Which of course I left at Washington's place. I totally spazzed, probably cuz I was mentally freaking out. *smh* so he gave it to her for me. He said she liked it. So I'm taking his word for it. (I breathed a sigh of relief when he told me.) Which is good.
In two weeks he comes to my house for dinner. I hope that it goes as smoothly as Saturday went otherwise I'm gonna start to hyperventilate. I'm gonna have to keep oxygen I stand-by cuz I know I'll be holding my breath the whole time. Lol.
Crossing all toes, fingers, etc.
... to be continued
They LIKED me. Hallelujah. *heavenly angels singing*
That was a huge weight off my shoulders. I was nervous for absolutely no reason. They were so nice and chill. I was totally comfortable with them. They laughed and cracked jokes. It reminded me of my family a little bit. Washington told me to just be myself and thats what I did.I decided on a picture frame and a card for his mom... Which of course I left at Washington's place. I totally spazzed, probably cuz I was mentally freaking out. *smh* so he gave it to her for me. He said she liked it. So I'm taking his word for it. (I breathed a sigh of relief when he told me.) Which is good.
In two weeks he comes to my house for dinner. I hope that it goes as smoothly as Saturday went otherwise I'm gonna start to hyperventilate. I'm gonna have to keep oxygen I stand-by cuz I know I'll be holding my breath the whole time. Lol.
Crossing all toes, fingers, etc.
... to be continued
Thursday, November 12, 2009
The Elephant
I know I've been talking about this Elephant for the longest time so without further ado...
The huge elephant in the room of our relationship is: faith.
I'm a Christian and doesn't believe... at all. His faith is in people. Why is this a problem? I'm very involved in my church, my dad is a pastor, and I never thought I'd be with someone who wasn't a believer. Now with most guys when I learn that our faiths differ I no longer pursue a romantic interest.
But Washington is a conundrum. He doesn't mind discussing my faith and he says its one of the things he loves about me; how strong my faith is. And if I'm honest with myself he is the best relationship I've ever had. He truly cares for me, he wants me in his life, he has no problem telling people about me, he wants to do whatever he can to make me happy, he includes me in his future plans and he wants to impress my parents. After dating so many duds I finally have found a good one but...
The huge elephant in the room of our relationship is: faith.
I'm a Christian and doesn't believe... at all. His faith is in people. Why is this a problem? I'm very involved in my church, my dad is a pastor, and I never thought I'd be with someone who wasn't a believer. Now with most guys when I learn that our faiths differ I no longer pursue a romantic interest.
But Washington is a conundrum. He doesn't mind discussing my faith and he says its one of the things he loves about me; how strong my faith is. And if I'm honest with myself he is the best relationship I've ever had. He truly cares for me, he wants me in his life, he has no problem telling people about me, he wants to do whatever he can to make me happy, he includes me in his future plans and he wants to impress my parents. After dating so many duds I finally have found a good one but...
"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"
2 Corinthians 6:14
While he doesn't feel this is a big deal this is waring within me constantly cuz I can't ignore what the Word of God says. Yet, I feel that all things happen for a reason. That we were meant to meet. That God placed him in my life for such a time as thisw. Wat that reason is I have yet to figure out. But, I'm on the journey to find out.
My fear is falling in love with him and then having to let him go. *sigh* God forbid. I have to trust that He'll work everything out.
I'll keep you posted.
... to be continued
My fear is falling in love with him and then having to let him go. *sigh* God forbid. I have to trust that He'll work everything out.
I'll keep you posted.
... to be continued
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
2 Months
Thats how long me and Washington have been dating. Why is it that he and my brother (of all people, lol) were the ones to point that out to me? Of course I knew we had been dating awhile but I wasn't keeping track. (Maybe thats cuz I wasn't sure if we'd still be together now. Just my cynicism.) But isn't it usually the female that keeps track? *shrugs* Anyway, Its actually 2 months today. :-D
Ok, so he met the parents, we've hit 2 months and... He's having dinner at my house with my fam at the end of this month. Hopefully many more milestones to come :)
I'll keep u posted
... to be continued
Ok, so he met the parents, we've hit 2 months and... He's having dinner at my house with my fam at the end of this month. Hopefully many more milestones to come :)
I'll keep u posted
... to be continued
Is It Wrong? - Withholding the Truth
I feel like I'm always prefacing my posts these days with an I'm sorry. But I've been so busy lately I haven't had the time to post. But I've got a lot of stuff in me so I'll be updating u in the next free days.
But this is it wrong is about withholding the truth or a lie by omission. Now this has always been a hard one for me cuz I've never considered this lying I just didn't tell you cuz you didn't ask. Now I'm not talking about cheating or anything like that.
Last night Washington said to me, "So ur not keeping stuff from me?" to which I answered, "Nope". Now after I said it I thought, well I haven't told him everything. He's asked me about the guys I dated but I haven't told him about Mr. E or the Personal Trainer. Why? I guess because I never actually went on a date with them it didn't seem necessary to divulge. But maybe I should have. Is that a lie by omission? I haven't told him that I still keep in touch from time to time with The MC of that the Personal Trainer wants to see me when he comes up here from GA this month (Will post on this later). I mean I answer all his questions truthfully and honestly these things just never come up in conversation. (Wait, I did tell him about Mr. E I just didn't tell him I still email him every now and again).
So the question is, Is it wrong to not have told him these things? Yes, honesty is paramount to a relationship and I believe that we have that down. He is painfully honest with me sometimes and he tells me everything. But I've never been the type to spill my guts to people. I give them the information they ask for, nothing more and nothing less. But that doesn't mean I'm lying by omission. I've learned that u have to be careful what you tell cuz it can come back to bite you later on so...
Is it wrong to tell the truth but not tell every detail?
Hmmmmm
....to be continued
But this is it wrong is about withholding the truth or a lie by omission. Now this has always been a hard one for me cuz I've never considered this lying I just didn't tell you cuz you didn't ask. Now I'm not talking about cheating or anything like that.
Last night Washington said to me, "So ur not keeping stuff from me?" to which I answered, "Nope". Now after I said it I thought, well I haven't told him everything. He's asked me about the guys I dated but I haven't told him about Mr. E or the Personal Trainer. Why? I guess because I never actually went on a date with them it didn't seem necessary to divulge. But maybe I should have. Is that a lie by omission? I haven't told him that I still keep in touch from time to time with The MC of that the Personal Trainer wants to see me when he comes up here from GA this month (Will post on this later). I mean I answer all his questions truthfully and honestly these things just never come up in conversation. (Wait, I did tell him about Mr. E I just didn't tell him I still email him every now and again).
So the question is, Is it wrong to not have told him these things? Yes, honesty is paramount to a relationship and I believe that we have that down. He is painfully honest with me sometimes and he tells me everything. But I've never been the type to spill my guts to people. I give them the information they ask for, nothing more and nothing less. But that doesn't mean I'm lying by omission. I've learned that u have to be careful what you tell cuz it can come back to bite you later on so...
Is it wrong to tell the truth but not tell every detail?
Hmmmmm
....to be continued
Monday, November 2, 2009
Meeting the Parents
So over the weekend Washington met my parents. I chose a pretty light setting to do so. At the Hallelujah Party we have for the kids at my church. It was great by the way. But anyway, I think it went well. I think he was nervous, I know I was.
But the run down I got from my fam after they met him was pretty good. My family reads vibes off of people so accurately that I have come to value their advice. Now some of wat they say I look at them sideways but they have turned out to be right so many times that when they talk I listen.
Everything (toes, fingers, ankles, etcs) are crossed. We'll see wat happens.
Singleville... whew. First hurdle leapt over safely. But he still has to meet my sister. :-/
... to be continued
But the run down I got from my fam after they met him was pretty good. My family reads vibes off of people so accurately that I have come to value their advice. Now some of wat they say I look at them sideways but they have turned out to be right so many times that when they talk I listen.
- My brother. He is who met Washington first, may be one of the toughest cookie to crack seeing as how he is brutally honest when it comes to the guys I date. And he has liked very few of them. But.... he liked Washington. They both had each other laughing and my bro said he was cool. Which is a sigh of relief considering that with my last boyfriend he looked at me and said, "I don't like him. Never have, never will."
- My mom. She has mastered the art of in about 10.5 secs of knowing your character through body language and how u introduce urself. Its amazing. She has told me straight up, "Naw, he's not the one." Or "Nope, He ain't it." I always say to myself if the guy can't cut it with my mom he won't be able to survive the rest of my family. So she met Washington, they had a little convo and the verdict.... "He seems like a nice guy. I have to get to know him better." He gets a second audience with my mom! Thats like huge.
- My dad. The Pastor. He's usually the easiest to win over. Hmmm... not so much this time. He showed his protectiveness this weekend although he did say that he thinks Washington really likes me and that he's a respectable guy. The Elephant I keep talking about (that I will post quite soon) coupled with me being his daughter is making him a little closed minded which he usually isn't.
Everything (toes, fingers, ankles, etcs) are crossed. We'll see wat happens.
Singleville... whew. First hurdle leapt over safely. But he still has to meet my sister. :-/
... to be continued
Monday, October 19, 2009
The Last 4 Days
The last 4 days have been straight up Bananas.
Thursday
It was this big event for my job. It went really well, my feet held up pretty well in my four inch heels. Everybody was happy so I was happy. But, I didn't hit the bed til a little after 12 am.
Friday
Then I was back to work the next day at about 10 am. Left the office around 5:30 and ran to Michael's to pick up stuff for my youth group. Didn't get home til after 7 pm. When I got home, my cousin was there so my brother, her and I stayed up til the wee hours of the morning. Not the smartest thing to do when...
Saturday
You're to be awoken at 5 am to go to Lancaster, PA. Shopping trip! The trip was great except the weather was horrible. It rained and was cold but I was so happy to get away and do one of my favorite things... SHOP! We found some amazing deals. I hung out with my brother and cuz. It was an all around good day. We didn't get home from that til about 10:30 pm and I hit my pillow hard.
Sunday
Then my alarm buzzed at 9 am. Time for church. Lord knows I wanted to stay all snuggled in my covers but... I got up and got dress cuz it was Women's Day. Rocking my white dress. And we had double duty. Two services. (My feet held up pretty well here too). They fed us which was on point and by the time second service rolled around I was ready for a nap. Lol. But I held it together. Dropped my cousin back to school, get me a Medium caramel hot latte from Dunkin Donuts, got home, watched some football and hit the sack after 12 am.
And guess what time I had to be to work this morning? 9 am. I can feel the bags forming as I type. Lol. My busy, crazy life. Gotta love it. Next weekend's pace hopefully will be a little slower.
PS: I was going through Washington withdrawals this weekend too. Lol. Saturday is when I usually see him cuz we live kinda far from each other but I was on my shopping trip. When I miss someone that much it means I really like them. Hmmm. Lots to think about.
... to be continued
Thursday
It was this big event for my job. It went really well, my feet held up pretty well in my four inch heels. Everybody was happy so I was happy. But, I didn't hit the bed til a little after 12 am.
Friday
Then I was back to work the next day at about 10 am. Left the office around 5:30 and ran to Michael's to pick up stuff for my youth group. Didn't get home til after 7 pm. When I got home, my cousin was there so my brother, her and I stayed up til the wee hours of the morning. Not the smartest thing to do when...
Saturday
You're to be awoken at 5 am to go to Lancaster, PA. Shopping trip! The trip was great except the weather was horrible. It rained and was cold but I was so happy to get away and do one of my favorite things... SHOP! We found some amazing deals. I hung out with my brother and cuz. It was an all around good day. We didn't get home from that til about 10:30 pm and I hit my pillow hard.
Sunday
Then my alarm buzzed at 9 am. Time for church. Lord knows I wanted to stay all snuggled in my covers but... I got up and got dress cuz it was Women's Day. Rocking my white dress. And we had double duty. Two services. (My feet held up pretty well here too). They fed us which was on point and by the time second service rolled around I was ready for a nap. Lol. But I held it together. Dropped my cousin back to school, get me a Medium caramel hot latte from Dunkin Donuts, got home, watched some football and hit the sack after 12 am.
And guess what time I had to be to work this morning? 9 am. I can feel the bags forming as I type. Lol. My busy, crazy life. Gotta love it. Next weekend's pace hopefully will be a little slower.
PS: I was going through Washington withdrawals this weekend too. Lol. Saturday is when I usually see him cuz we live kinda far from each other but I was on my shopping trip. When I miss someone that much it means I really like them. Hmmm. Lots to think about.
... to be continued
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Fell Into It :-/
Ok so I think I just kinda fell into a relationship. I think.
As you may know Washington and I talk everyday and we have hung out once a week for the last 3 weeks. Lately he's been using language like "my lady" and "your man" and last night he wanted to ask me something but he doesn't want to ask it through text which is usually his MO so...
According to Steve Harvey when a man professes that means he wants to be with you or at the very least sees himself being with you for a while. He's told me before that I'm a keeper. And he even told his mom about me.
So... I'm just trying to figure out how I ended up here. Lol. I hate when my mom's right. She told me this might happen. But is it so terrible? I like him, he likes me but... there is a huge elephant in the room.
Plus I just got an email from Mr. E this morning telling me he misses me and asking if he still crosses my mind. I almost swooned. Lol. Although I put him in the friend category I still care about him. *smh* (And I figured out why I liked PT so much besides that he's fine, he reminded me of Mr. E. Same age, same type of connection. Mr. E just ain't married. How crazy is that?)
So this Single girl might actually have a boyfriend. Isn't this what I wanted????
... to be continued
As you may know Washington and I talk everyday and we have hung out once a week for the last 3 weeks. Lately he's been using language like "my lady" and "your man" and last night he wanted to ask me something but he doesn't want to ask it through text which is usually his MO so...
According to Steve Harvey when a man professes that means he wants to be with you or at the very least sees himself being with you for a while. He's told me before that I'm a keeper. And he even told his mom about me.
So... I'm just trying to figure out how I ended up here. Lol. I hate when my mom's right. She told me this might happen. But is it so terrible? I like him, he likes me but... there is a huge elephant in the room.
Plus I just got an email from Mr. E this morning telling me he misses me and asking if he still crosses my mind. I almost swooned. Lol. Although I put him in the friend category I still care about him. *smh* (And I figured out why I liked PT so much besides that he's fine, he reminded me of Mr. E. Same age, same type of connection. Mr. E just ain't married. How crazy is that?)
So this Single girl might actually have a boyfriend. Isn't this what I wanted????
... to be continued
