I Want You To Sit On My Face

Seriously?! SMH. While I'm not knocking it. Thats not the first thing you say to someone.

Giving me the rundown of wat you can do with your tongue while intriguing does not a long-term commitment make in my train of thought.

But I guess that its all about people's expectations. To me I expect that when you're introducing yourself to me you might say,

"Hi my name is (insert name) and I saw you and wanted to say hello. I am (insert age) and I would love to get a cup of coffee or go out to dinner sometime."

Call me old-fashioned but thats my expectation. 

Saying "oh, baby I wanna make you cum" and you don't even know my name yet, doesn't cut the mustard (with me anyway). Especially in this day and age it makes me wonder how many other people you done said this to and how many of them have taken you up on the offer.

So while I'm not saying that I wouldn't enjoy the ride I don't plan to be hoping on any random fool's face anytime soon. 

But thanks for the offer.

... to be continued.

Lick You For $100

So the other day I'm checking my social networking sites. Like everyone I have a few of them. I'm on particular one when I get a message thats titled, "Question Luv????". I'm used to getting all types of notes but this one threw me for a loop for sure. It read:

"WHAT IF I OFFER U $100 JUST TO TASTE U FOR 5 MINS.
IM A MASTER AT LICKING...NO SEX JUST A LICK..NO ONE WOULD KNOW..
CAN I BE UR SHUGGA DADDY ON THE LOW?"

WTF???? I've gotten some crazy propositions before; come to my house and I just met you, what are your sexual fantasies so we can act them out, I'm very experienced if we meet it'd be worth it and all this other ish. I've even gotten the I'd love to eat you out do you want me to? proposition but this?! He even rhymed it too like this was a poem. Fools be getting bold nowadays. Now my answer was obviously Hell NO! But I wanted to know if this fool was serious. (I need to watch this curiosity thing. We all know about curiosity and what happened to the cat. Lol.)

He was,

"SHHH NO ONE WILL KNOW..
ITS A SECRET FETISH OF MINE N ITS BEEN A WHILE"

Can you believe he told me to Shhhh? Like this was some secret I needed to guard with my life. When I read that I imagined someone putting they finger to they lips looking around nervously thinking someone might overhear. Lmao. And I love how he threw in "Its been a while." Did he think that would make me say yes?

I was tempted to say my was stuff was worth more than $100 and see if he would up his price but I just left it as it was and politely declined.

My thing is, last time I checked a woman who sold her wares was a pro and I ain't no pro. Where do men get the idea that this is appropriate and acceptable? I'm the type of girl that needs to know if you can carry a conversation, are intelligent, have goals, etc before I want to know if your tongue skills are on point. Who wants a dumb f*%!? (I mean that literally and figuratively.) Lol.

One word of advice my brothas: Stop embarrassing yourselves. Cuz,

This Fool Done Lost His Mind

As always men tickle me, but I still love them. Singleville amazes me.

... to be continued.