What Happened To The Sun?

It is 4:30 in the afternoon and it is already dark outside. :(

Thats the only thing I don't like about this time of year, besides the snow. The sun goes down super early in the winter. *sigh* At least Christmas is right around the corner.

Happy Thanksgiving!

No Woman Deserves To Be Hit

I wasn't gonna blog about this but there are too many ignorant people out in this world and they are pissing me off. I think my title is self explanatory but I feel the need to vent.

We all know about the Chris Brown/Rihanna situation and her being on 20/20. We all know that Chris beat and bit the heck out of her. What I'm tried of hearing is ignorant, foolish women saying,

"Rihanna must of done something to make him hit her"

"We all know Chris Brown didn’t do it lol! Speaking of that call me Chris Brown i love you!"

"She needs to stop lying"

I don't care what she did or what she said. She coulda said his ding-a-ling was small or that his stroke game was horrible. I don't give two figs. There is no, ABSOLUTELY NO reason for a man to ever hit a female.

Reading the comments, especially those from women saying that she needs to get over it, that she instigated it, and they don't think he really hit her, etc. One, I want them to get the crap beat out of them and almost pushed out of a moving car and try to get over it. Two, a man with no self-control is a coward. I can get all up in ur face but keep ur hands to urself. When you can walk away thats the measure of a man. Three, dude got arrested, charges pressed, stood before a judge. I doubt she beat herself like that. He did it.

It pissed me off that women are defending him and not her. She is the victim and millions of women end up in abusive relationships. What did they do to deserve it? Exist?

It makes me sick cuz if this was their mother, sister, cousin, auntie they'd be singing a different tune. While other women nurse their wounds and hurts in the shadows she had to nurse hers in the spotlight. Whether you like her as a singer or not, frown on her clothing choices or love them she is a human being and a woman who is trying her best to process, move on and stay a role model for those who look up to her.

I commend her. And I feel for her. The one person she loved hurt her to her soul. And to those who are saying she deserved it, I want you to stand naked and exposed before the world, your face bruised and battered and see if you'd still be able to hold yourself up.

Oh and PS, she's not necessarily in the spotlight because she wants to be camera follow her everywhere.

Ignorance is why those same women condemning her will end up battered women themselves. *Smh* Sadness.


... to be continued

Pussy Credit

Is there such a thing as pussy credit?

One day, a little while back, me and Washington were talking and some how got on the topic of paying for sex. (We have some very interesting convos by the way.) His argument was that in some way, shape, or form men pay for sex. Whether its gas and tolls to go see the female or dinner and a movie, or even spending the day going to the museum when they could be watching a sports game, whatever it is, its some form of payment for some pussy. He said (paraphrasing) "if we didn't do those things you wouldn't give us any, now would ya?" Hmmm.

An example is on the King of Queens (does anybody watch that show?). Where Doug (the husband) after a stressful day of driving & accompanying his father-in-law Arthur while he runs his errands, gets a "very special thank you" from Carrie (his wife). After realizing the more time he spends with Arthur the more "thank yous" he gets from Carrie, Doug soon pretends to be very good friends with Arthur. So he was amassing pussy credit, right?

So the question is, do men only do all those nice things or pay for things just to amass pussy credit that they can cash in at a later date or possibly the end of the night? If they knew that they wouldn't get any regardless would they still do them? Do you agree that men some how end up "paying" for sex in some way?

Of course I disagreed with him but I want to know my readers thoughts.

... to be continued

They Liked me, They really liked me : )

Over the weekend I met Washington's family and.... *drum roll please*

They LIKED me. Hallelujah. *heavenly angels singing*That was a huge weight off my shoulders. I was nervous for absolutely no reason. They were so nice and chill. I was totally comfortable with them. They laughed and cracked jokes. It reminded me of my family a little bit. Washington told me to just be myself and thats what I did.

I decided on a picture frame and a card for his mom... Which of course I left at Washington's place. I totally spazzed, probably cuz I was mentally freaking out. *smh* so he gave it to her for me. He said she liked it. So I'm taking his word for it. (I breathed a sigh of relief when he told me.) Which is good.

In two weeks he comes to my house for dinner. I hope that it goes as smoothly as Saturday went otherwise I'm gonna start to hyperventilate. I'm gonna have to keep oxygen I stand-by cuz I know I'll be holding my breath the whole time. Lol.

Crossing all toes, fingers, etc.

... to be continued

I'm meeting the fam. Thats right. Tomorrow I am meeting Washington's family. And... I'm nervous. I don't know why. I'm usually good with moms. They love me. (Its the sons i usually have to win over. Lol) But Washington told me to just be myself and they'll like me. And thats the plan.

Well, its his mom's birthday and they r taking her out and he invited me to come. So i've been trying to rack my brain of wat i can get her. I was so swamped today so i didn't get a chance to look for anything and he invited me last night so... Any ideas of wat i can scrounge up between now and 7 am tomorrow besides flowers?

Lord help me. *sends a prayer heavenward*

... To be continued

I Want To See You

So last Sunday I hit up the Personal Trainer.

*Before y'all start going in on me I realized that PT and I had originally started off as friends and I don't stop caring about people just like that. If I did I woulda emancipated myself from some of my family members and disowned some friends by now. Lol. I don't hit him up every day just once in a blue moon. If he crosses my mind I say hey.*

Well in the course of the convo he tells me that he's coming to NYC soon and if it were possible could we meet up so that he could apologize and hug me. He'd even let me smack him across the face and curse him out. *raised eyebrow* I thought about it for a minute because not too long ago I had been dying to see him. But then Washington flashed into my mind and there ain't no way I'm gonna let my curiosity mess up my relationship. Besides will I get anymore answers than the few I got the first time? Doubtful. So, NOPE, not gonna happen.

Plus, my mom woulda killed me (a slow and painful death). It woulda been playing with fire and not for me but him. I mean honestly, wat good can come from us meeting? *crickets*

Exactly.

But my readers, wat would u do if u were in my situation: Would you see him for closure or would you chalk it up as a lesson learned and stay home?

Men never cease to amaze.

... to be continued

The Elephant

I know I've been talking about this Elephant for the longest time so without further ado...

The huge elephant in the room of our relationship is: faith.

I'm a Christian and doesn't believe... at all. His faith is in people. Why is this a problem? I'm very involved in my church, my dad is a pastor, and I never thought I'd be with someone who wasn't a believer. Now with most guys when I learn that our faiths differ I no longer pursue a romantic interest.

But Washington is a conundrum. He doesn't mind discussing my faith and he says its one of the things he loves about me; how strong my faith is. And if I'm honest with myself he is the best relationship I've ever had. He truly cares for me, he wants me in his life, he has no problem telling people about me, he wants to do whatever he can to make me happy, he includes me in his future plans and he wants to impress my parents. After dating so many duds I finally have found a good one but...

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

2 Corinthians 6:14

While he doesn't feel this is a big deal this is waring within me constantly cuz I can't ignore what the Word of God says. Yet, I feel that all things happen for a reason. That we were meant to meet. That God placed him in my life for such a time as thisw. Wat that reason is I have yet to figure out. But, I'm on the journey to find out.

My fear is falling in love with him and then having to let him go. *sigh* God forbid. I have to trust that He'll work everything out.

I'll keep you posted.

... to be continued

2 Months

Thats how long me and Washington have been dating. Why is it that he and my brother (of all people, lol) were the ones to point that out to me? Of course I knew we had been dating awhile but I wasn't keeping track. (Maybe thats cuz I wasn't sure if we'd still be together now. Just my cynicism.) But isn't it usually the female that keeps track? *shrugs* Anyway, Its actually 2 months today. :-D



Ok, so he met the parents, we've hit 2 months and... He's having dinner at my house with my fam at the end of this month. Hopefully many more milestones to come :)

I'll keep u posted

... to be continued

Is It Wrong? - Withholding the Truth

I feel like I'm always prefacing my posts these days with an I'm sorry. But I've been so busy lately I haven't had the time to post. But I've got a lot of stuff in me so I'll be updating u in the next free days.

But this is it wrong is about withholding the truth or a lie by omission. Now this has always been a hard one for me cuz I've never considered this lying I just didn't tell you cuz you didn't ask. Now I'm not talking about cheating or anything like that.

Last night Washington said to me, "So ur not keeping stuff from me?" to which I answered, "Nope". Now after I said it I thought, well I haven't told him everything. He's asked me about the guys I dated but I haven't told him about Mr. E or the Personal Trainer. Why? I guess because I never actually went on a date with them it didn't seem necessary to divulge. But maybe I should have. Is that a lie by omission? I haven't told him that I still keep in touch from time to time with The MC of that the Personal Trainer wants to see me when he comes up here from GA this month (Will post on this later). I mean I answer all his questions truthfully and honestly these things just never come up in conversation. (Wait, I did tell him about Mr. E I just didn't tell him I still email him every now and again).

So the question is, Is it wrong to not have told him these things? Yes, honesty is paramount to a relationship and I believe that we have that down. He is painfully honest with me sometimes and he tells me everything. But I've never been the type to spill my guts to people. I give them the information they ask for, nothing more and nothing less. But that doesn't mean I'm lying by omission. I've learned that u have to be careful what you tell cuz it can come back to bite you later on so...

Is it wrong to tell the truth but not tell every detail?

Hmmmmm

....to be continued

Meeting the Parents

So over the weekend Washington met my parents. I chose a pretty light setting to do so. At the Hallelujah Party we have for the kids at my church. It was great by the way. But anyway, I think it went well. I think he was nervous, I know I was.

But the run down I got from my fam after they met him was pretty good. My family reads vibes off of people so accurately that I have come to value their advice. Now some of wat they say I look at them sideways but they have turned out to be right so many times that when they talk I listen.

1. My brother. He is who met Washington first, may be one of the toughest cookie to crack seeing as how he is brutally honest when it comes to the guys I date. And he has liked very few of them. But.... he liked Washington. They both had each other laughing and my bro said he was cool. Which is a sigh of relief considering that with my last boyfriend he looked at me and said, "I don't like him. Never have, never will."
2. My mom. She has mastered the art of in about 10.5 secs of knowing your character through body language and how u introduce urself. Its amazing. She has told me straight up, "Naw, he's not the one." Or "Nope, He ain't it." I always say to myself if the guy can't cut it with my mom he won't be able to survive the rest of my family. So she met Washington, they had a little convo and the verdict.... "He seems like a nice guy. I have to get to know him better." He gets a second audience with my mom! Thats like huge.
3. My dad. The Pastor. He's usually the easiest to win over. Hmmm... not so much this time. He showed his protectiveness this weekend although he did say that he thinks Washington really likes me and that he's a respectable guy. The Elephant I keep talking about (that I will post quite soon) coupled with me being his daughter is making him a little closed minded which he usually isn't.

But overall, they want to get to know him better which is really good sign and he's willing to hang out on my side of NY more so that they can get to know him which is also a good sign so....

Everything (toes, fingers, ankles, etcs) are crossed. We'll see wat happens.

Singleville... whew. First hurdle leapt over safely. But he still has to meet my sister. :-/

... to be continued

Is It Wrong? - Tattling

I apologize profusely about my lack of posts. This installment of is it wrong is about being a tattle tale. We all have grown up being told not to be a tattle tail. But I'm not talking about kids here. I'm talking about grown people. And I'm not talking about if someone's done a crime I'm talking about petty, stupid crap.

Over the last couple of months I've been the victim of a tattle tale. Now the person tattling on me, who shall remain nameless, is almost 40 years old. Who is he tattling to? My dad. And what about? My facebook statuses and none other than my blog. Now he doesn't know where on the web my blog is but I had been uploading my posts to my facebook profile. Every time something popped up he didn't like I'd get a call from my dad asking, "Can u remove the post?"

1. I know my dad didn't read the post/status
2. My dad doesn't have facebook
3. My dad doesn't even know wat a blog is

So I know that someone had to tattle on me. Now my posts aren't anything crazy. I think they are pretty tame compared to some things on the web and most of wat I post I talk to my parents about anyway because our relationship is cool like that.

What pissed me off is, if you have a problem with wat I have to say tell me directly. Don't call my father so he can discipline me. I'm 23 years old. What is he gonna do, spank me? Honestly, what my dad says to me does pull weight but I've read my blog to him and told him he could read it. I've got nothing to hide. Why is a grown man acting like a big behind baby over a 23 year old's blog? (I have known him since I was a kid but I 'm not a kid anymore) So I blocked him from reading my notes on facebook. That didn't work so I had to stop uploading my blog to facebook cuz I was tired of it.

So the question is, do I have the right to be pissed off? I'm even more hot over this cuz its a grown person who should know better than to play these little childish games. I know I can't please everybody but people have the balls to come to my face and tell me wat's up. Calling my dad is not even close to how grown folks handle issues.

So is it wrong to be a tattle tale?

... to be continued