Thursday, October 1, 2009

He's Married!

So here's the entire story of what happened last night.

I have been talking to the Personal Trainer for a little over a month even though it felt much longer. I first introduced him as my text buddy. Somehow our relationship progressed so much further than that. We would talk everyday. When I mean everyday, I'm talking waking up to texts, talking before we went to bed, sometimes talking all day on Saturdays. And we were talking about some really deep stuff about our feelings, our families. I thought I had a serious connection with him. Mind you I was trying to figure out how this could possibly work because we didn't live in the same state and he was joining the army but when I asked him about it he said that he saw us as getting closer and didn't foresee our relationship changing. He even invited me to come to Georgia to spend the weekend with him.

So I'm thinking its all good, we're on the same page right?

We'll in my post Georgia Peach I talked about going to visit him. My Aunt read my post and commented on it, telling me to send her his name so she can check him out for me. Thinking everything was everything I obliged. She messages me back saying to ask him if he lives in Conyers and knows this woman. He does live in Conyers so I texted him asking if he knew her. I was thinking it was maybe she's a sister or a cousin or maybe his mother but this is what he texts back.

"Yes. She's my wife."

I paused. Like as if you pressed paused on your dvd player. I paused put my phone down and let it sit for a minute. I was stunned to say the least. Was this a joke? So I texted back, "R u serious?"

So wait about 10 minutes because thats how long I waited for a response I never got before I texted, "Were u ever gonna tell me?" He finally texts back

"Yes, but I didn't know how after I didn't tell you the first time we talked. How did u find out?"

How did I find out?! Why the heck didn't you tell me you (insert a random slew of expletives here). The thing is if my Aunt hadn't asked me for his name and then asked me to ask him if he knew that woman I would have never known. I mean I was making plans to spend money to go see this fool, I shared thoughts with him I don't share with anybody because he opened himself up to me. All the things he told me about his life he didn't think that telling me he had a wife and 2 boys was important? WTF?!

So he called me later that night. By now this had sunk in and hearing him talk I began to cry. I hate to admit that I did. And I held it together during most of the call but as I began asking him questions and he kept saying I don't know I couldn't hold it. I was so hurt. Like how can you not know? At any point you could have said Dee, I gotta tell you something. But no, I had to find out indirectly from someone else who didn't even know she was outing you. At least he came out with it straight up but my goodness... he woulda let me come to Georgia and cheat on his wife with me. And I would never know. What if she had seen us together ir found his phone? *smh*

When I asked him if he woulda ever told me he was like uh, well yeah but ... BS.

Then when I asked how he thought us could work he was like, "I was still trying to figure that out."

But what really took the cake was that he was more upset that he hurt me. Me? Not that he could've hurt the other woman he made a vow to, not the fact that a family was almost destroyed. No, he was more upset that he hurt me and mad me cry.

I kept thinking, how do you explain something like that to your kids? He coulda got me got by his wife and I woulda been oblivious as to why. He knows I'm not that type of person. I'm not a husband stealer. And he's been with his wife for years. Their oldest child is 12!

Only God in his awesome power could have orchestrated this. My mom kept telling me he was hiding something and this was more than coincidence that my Aunt would ask me to ask him this woman's name and it would be his wife.

My heart hurts but I thank God that this didn't escalate beyond this point. I can still pick up the pieces and move on cuz I did nothing wrong. I can still hold my head high.

Then he had the nerve to say, "Can I text you later?"


Singleville have mercy on me please.

... to be continued.


JStar said...

That is sooo crazy...But yea all you can do is pick it up and move on...He doesnt deserve you anyways, and its a good thing that you found out now before things got deeper. Yea, its disapointing but it could have been worse...The right man will come along...I am waiting for mine as well...

Anonymous said...

wow.... that is crazy....
And a situation that I'm speechless say the least...

khaki said...

de ja fricking vu... went through the same thing...exactly the same thing. happy you picked up the pieces and moved on.

Lady Dee said...

I had to pick up the pieces. I'm just glad I didn't invest more than I already had. I just keep wondering, "how long he thought it could continue on before it all blew up?" *smh* Where was his mind at?

Enigma Jones said...

Wow...well, better for you to learn now than months from now when you were more emotinally invested. Consider that a bullet dodged, my dear.

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