Too Nice?

Over and over again my family tells me I'm too nice. In light of what has happened in my life the last couple of weeks (my overeager phone caller and the inappropriate older man) I can't help but wonder if this is true. Do I have some misguided sense of trying to save people's feelings at the expense of myself? Yet I've been told that I also can come off as mean and unapproachable. So which is it? Am I too mean or am I too nice? I seemingly can't win. In a world where kindness can get you killed and meanness gets you labeled a bitch where is the happy medium? For me I want it to be said of myself that I was a person who considered everyone's feelings with respect and tact. But maybe I'm missing something and life doesn't allow us to be nice without opening ourselves up to strangers, wierdos, and crazies. If a smile or a kind word means that you could potential give the wrong person the wrong idea does that mean that we no longer do these things? Is this single girl supposed to not grin and bear it?