Saturday, February 6, 2010

When I Tell U Something.... Believe Me

Washington never listens to me. I've explained to him about 20 times the reason why I broke it off. What does he say,

"Well my friend told me you broke up with me because you wanted to see other people"

Oh yes, absolutely this person who doesn't even know me hit the nail on the head. Because I like going out with people whose ultimate goal is to get me in their bed. I truly enjoy that. *eyeroll*

So here are the top three reasons why we are no longer together.

#1 reason
I despise conflict and he loved it. Always wanting me to debate him on this issue and that. When I take time out of my schedule to be with someone I don't want to be debating them. Where I feel like my time would have been better spent at home. I want to be able to relax and have fun and enjoy their company. And at times it felt more like he was bullying me. I hate conflict. I do anything in my power to resolve things but he likes to push and push. Even when we broke up he kept pushing me, "Why don't you just break up with me then?" Guess what? I did.

#2 reason
He liked to mock me. He made me feel like my beliefs, my desires, truly wat was in my heart was worthless. Like it was stupid and I was stupid for believing it. I'm an intelligent woman and I don't need to be patronized or have someone shake their head at me or make a joke about something I'm serious about. There were times I just wanted to slap the taste outta his mouth and then tape his lips shut because I was tired of hearing him put me down, making me feel inadequate and slow and cracking jokes about stuff that wasn't funny. Maybe I'm just too sensitive. *shrug*

#3 reason

My life is about Christ and following His will for me. If you know that its that important to me come to church with me, support the things I do, be the shoulder I can lean on when things get hard and I need you to have my back. Instead he wanted me to move away to another state with him. Away from my support system and my call and then look at me like i'm crazy.

His response:
1. We're not your parents and it wasn't an argument. We were debating. I just feel like I have to push you cuz your too nice to people.

Well he pushed me alright. He pushed me away.

2. You're too sensitive. It's a joke.


3. Why do you want your parents to raise your kids? Why can't it be just us together?

I'm wrong for wanting my children to be around their grandparents? And just us together would have drove me crazy. I would have no friends, no home church, no one who knows me to go to when you get on my nerves. I can't. Community and family are very important to me. That's how I grew up and that's what I want for my kids.

Any thoughts? I can't....

... to be continued


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