Thursday, June 4, 2009

Playing With Fire

Yesterday I turned up the heat with Trig. Normally I'm not this crazy but Mr. Hyde reared her quite pretty (since its mine, lol) head again. Now I'm only talking about im-ing on aim. (If I was taking about a face to face encounter the title of this post would be On Fire). But I let myself reveal a side of myself that most people don't get to see. (Who am I kidding. Almost no one sees it've kissed me before.)

I'm playing with fire because I know he's a very sexually person and though I am too (not to the degree he is though) I know that I made a promise to abstain. So why did I engage in the freaky talk? Because as much as I hate to admit it his sexuality intrigues me. I find myself wondering what has he done, what is he willing to do, and it goes on and on get the picture.

My ultimate goal is marriage (I ain't down for flings). Although I'm a Christian and I wish my future husband to be one too, lets make no mistake I don't want him to be a virgin. I want to be with a man who knows what he's doing and I'll take my ques from him and will be able to freely express myself without feeling like I'm doing something inappropriate.

For me experience is sexy which probably explains my fascination with Trig and Mr. Hyde's ability to come out so easily with him. I have no fear of being judged by him. Warning: This can lead you down the path of sleeping with this man. Yes, this I know.

Everything in my head is telling me to be on my guard. My body is yearning for some action. And my heart, is still wrapped up in Mr. E for reasons truly unknown to me.

I know that fire can burn and cause damage but I find myself fantasizing about that fire a lot more than I should.

This weekend I enter the danger zone as I have a planned date with him. I'm still debating whether i should cancel. (He most def will be pissed if I do.)

The question is: How do I come out of the fiery pit unscathed?

Only if Jesus is in the midst. (A Bible story just hit me)

Pray for me cuz its summer time, I'm all hot and bothered, and if this fire don't get extinguished soon it's gonna turn into a full blown inferno. be continued.


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