Monday, August 10, 2009

Thinking Like a Man

Now if you've known me since my private school days (shout out to FCS) you'd know I was a tomboy. I clean up nice don't I? Lol. Anyhoo, I spent a lot of my time back then trying to be one of the guys. I was always competing with them. I wanted to be the best girl at every sport so that the boys would want to pick me for their team. I used to watch sports like nobodies business. Could name all the teams in the NFL and the NBA and most in the MLB. (Not now unfortunately. Teams be moving and I don't have the time to commit them all to memory.) And ESPN was (still is) my favorite channel. Sports Center. Yes sir.

Guys have always seemed comfortable around me. 1. I was quiet, didn't ask many questions. 2. I knew sports so I could easily add my 2 cents when I felt like it. 3. I wasn't trying to be thier girlfriend. (In the beginning anyway) In return I observed and listened. And for better or worse somethings rubbed off and stuck.

So here are the top 5 ways I think like a man
  1. Don't interupt me while my game is on. During football season unless you want your head chopped off don't interupt me while I watch the game, highlights, and Mike'd Up with Mike Francessa. Now if you want to join me while I watch cool but don't talk to me about anything other than the game, don't touch the remote, and don't ask me to do nothing. I'm with the guys on this one.
  2. I can understand the being with someone just to get yours with no emotions involved. Right now I can identify at least 3 guys I could call on the phone right now and be like I'll be at your house in 5 be ready for me. No strings, no attachments just take care of me and then I'm out and back home feeling satisfied. I do not exercise that power because I know how it feels to be used and I don't want to do that to anyone. But if my moral compass was pointed more to the south there would be a lot of brokenhearted dudes in my wake. Cuz I know I'd be able to walk away without even batting an eye. (Even as I typed that it sounded horrible. Even more reason for me not to do it)
  3. I get playing the game just to see if you could bag. Lots of women get pissed off when a guy talks them up all night, seems to make a great connection with them, they give the guy their number and he never calls. Well I get why they do it cuz I've done it. I'm guilty. Its a thrill. You just want to see if you can get them hooked. Can you pull there attention? Can you hold there attention? Is it right? No. But its part of the game. I've definitely toned this down because my goals and objectives have changed but every now and then its a huge ego boost when I can get that guy I'd never talk to on the regular to be interested. (You know the really fine one that you know isn't what you need but defintely what you want.)
  4. Checking out of a conversation. I'm the type of person who wants to solve an issue. And I'm willing to listen. After I come up with the solution I'm tired of hearing about the same blasted problem. I'm finding that when I'm conversing with a guy he carries the conversation most of the time and I'm sitting there saying, "Yeah", "Uh huh", "Oh ok". Now usually girls complain that guys don't listen. I can understand why. Some of the things I've heard, some of the marathon call sessions I've been apart of. It sometimes is all too much. So I get the checking out of the conversation. You just trying to keep your sanity.
  5. Openingly oogling (checking out) someone. While it makes me self-concious as all get out when this happens to me I am guilty of doing this exact thing. When I see something I like I stare at it. Complete with the lip lick, undressing with the eyes, and looking you up and down. I'm bad. But I get it. Not saying that its appropiate but I get it. I think men are gorgeous and sometimes I don't want to help myself. I just gotta look and appreciate him and wish I had him.
And the bonus: Being closed off. Many women want there man to be an open book. Sit down and talk about feelings and share. I'm not the sharing type of girl. The extent of the info I give are things the guys could/would find out on his own. While I probably know more about some of the guys I've dated than their parents they know next to nil about me. Why? Cuz I'm not one to volunteer information like that. I keep my personal biz close to the body. I'm with the guys on this one.

So whats the problem? Thinking like a guy is turning me into... well... a guy. Sure I've got all these great curves, awesome legs, and an amazing sense of fashion but this mindset is gonna get me in trouble. When a guy approahes me now its like game on. I've already decided before he gets to me if he's a friend, I'd sleep with him (if I didn't abstain of course), or if he's dateable. And I find that I'm stepping back emotional. It just doesn't seem natural to me. The roles seem reversed in a way. Do ya'll feel me or am I just special?

I guess that's why I'm still in Singleville.

... to be continued.


Tha King said...

I gotta disagree with the wanting no strings attached lovin. Women are natuarlly wired to associated sex and emotion, but more and more it seems like women are going away from they're instincts and acting like men. As a result, those same women have a problme showing emotion at the appropriate time, the've conditioned themselves to be emotionless and now they can't turn it off.

Lady Dee said...

I'm not saying I want no strings attached lovin' but I can understand how some people do it. Its definitely not an ideal that I want to have but I can't say I haven't thought about it or done it.

Traci Lavette said...

I don't think it's bad at all. I have what I believe to be a "male-mentality". I am a control freak and like to be in control at all times and my emotions are way up there. I think, in essence, we are working with a defense mechanism. Me...I never gave it much thought b/c it works for me. I grew up a tomboy, pimps for uncles, and brothers that had female coming and going (even when they thought they were the only ONEs), so I saw my fair share of what was NOT going to happen to me. I like handling my business from a distance because really, the men that I've dealt with have been so busy trying to bust down what they feel is my exterior, that they don't see what they could have in ME. So, single fits for now and I'm so cool with that b/c like you, I can make a few phone calls if it comes down to just wanting to "kick it".

Maybe one day...

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