Thursday, August 20, 2009

I Laid It All Out There

So a couple of weeks ago I finally finish "Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man" by Steve Harvey. Its a good read. Although it tells you all the things you know to be true and don't want to hear its something I needed to read and let permeate and sit.

I say this to say that I realized that I need to let these guys I've been talking to know up front what I'm about and what I won't compromise on. I don't want to waste their time or mine. Like I've said in the past, my goal is to get to out of Singleville and into Marrywood. In order to do that I have to find a guy that fits who am and what I want and not be holding on to something I know just won't work out.

I'm the type of woman who in the past has just gone with the flow and not really said anything when I was unhappy with a situation. I was always afraid the guy would dump me. Well that strategy wasn't working out cuz I would get dumped anyway. So I think I'll try a new strategy. Its called be myself.

If my friends piss me off, they know. Why should I pretend to not be mad at a guy I'm dating if I am mad? Hey, I am who I am and a guy that I potentially want to spend the rest of my life with needs to know that. What's the point in hiding it right?

So after reading the book I got inspired. I sent out a text to a new prospect (I'll introduce him later) telling him who Lady Dee is and I sent an email to Mr. E letting him know what's up.

If you don't know who Mr. E is read Myster E. He happens to still be a mystery to me but I decided that I don't want the mystery that surrounds our relationship to be there any longer. I like to know where I stand with people. I like labels. Some people don't but I do. It helps me know my place and my role in the lives of the people around me. I'm a co-worker, daughter, sister, youth leader, friend, etc. I hold many titles and they define the relationships I have with those people.

He refuses to give us definition. Its almost as if he's afraid to. I have asked in the past and then let it go but this time I ain't backing down and either he gives us definition or I'll slap the friend label on him and that will be that.

This ambiguity that we have opens the door for too much misunderstanding. What happens if he finds out I've been dating during the year I've known him? Does he have the right to be pissed? No. But could he be? Yes. I'd rather avoid all that madness and mayhem. I don't need it, I don't want it.

But anyway, I sent him an email basically summarizing my short term and long term goals and asking where he sees this going and if his goals match with mine. While I will admit it was a long email (when I write I get long winded as y'all probably can tell) I had to put it all out there.

Did I do the right thing?

I'm tired of sitting back and not standing up for myself. I do think I've waited long enough for an answer to this question and if he doesn't give it I can move on with my conscience clear right?

Best case scenario I get the man I want. Worst case scenario I end up with a really good friend. The odds won't always like that that now I know that I can't be a passive player in this. I have to make it known who I am, what I want, and let them decide if their down. Otherwise it will be a waste of time and I'll end frustrated and me frustrated is not fun for anyone. Lol.

Well I sent this last Friday night. He has til not Saturday to respond or he will be put in the friendship box. And this time this single girl is sticking to her guns.

Oh Singleville... Mr. E what am I gonna do with you?

... to be continued


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